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- Example of a great essay | Explanations, tips & tricks

Example of a Great Essay | Explanations, Tips & Tricks
Published on February 9, 2015 by Shane Bryson . Revised on December 6, 2021 by Shona McCombes.
This example guides you through the structure of an essay. It shows how to build an effective introduction , focused paragraphs , clear transitions between ideas, and a strong conclusion .
Each paragraph addresses a single central point, introduced by a topic sentence , and each point is directly related to the thesis statement .
As you read, hover over the highlighted parts to learn what they do and why they work.
An Appeal to the Senses: The Development of the Braille System in Nineteenth-Century France
The invention of Braille was a major turning point in the history of disability. The writing system of raised dots used by visually impaired people was developed by Louis Braille in nineteenth-century France. In a society that did not value disabled people in general, blindness was particularly stigmatized, and lack of access to reading and writing was a significant barrier to social participation. The idea of tactile reading was not entirely new, but existing methods based on sighted systems were difficult to learn and use. As the first writing system designed for blind people’s needs, Braille was a groundbreaking new accessibility tool. It not only provided practical benefits, but also helped change the cultural status of blindness. This essay begins by discussing the situation of blind people in nineteenth-century Europe. It then describes the invention of Braille and the gradual process of its acceptance within blind education. Subsequently, it explores the wide-ranging effects of this invention on blind people’s social and cultural lives.
Lack of access to reading and writing put blind people at a serious disadvantage in nineteenth-century society. Text was one of the primary methods through which people engaged with culture, communicated with others, and accessed information; without a well-developed reading system that did not rely on sight, blind people were excluded from social participation (Weygand, 2009). While disabled people in general suffered from discrimination, blindness was widely viewed as the worst disability, and it was commonly believed that blind people were incapable of pursuing a profession or improving themselves through culture (Weygand, 2009). This demonstrates the importance of reading and writing to social status at the time: without access to text, it was considered impossible to fully participate in society. Blind people were excluded from the sighted world, but also entirely dependent on sighted people for information and education.
In France, debates about how to deal with disability led to the adoption of different strategies over time. While people with temporary difficulties were able to access public welfare, the most common response to people with long-term disabilities, such as hearing or vision loss, was to group them together in institutions (Tombs, 1996). At first, a joint institute for the blind and deaf was created, and although the partnership was motivated more by financial considerations than by the well-being of the residents, the institute aimed to help people develop skills valuable to society (Weygand, 2009). Eventually blind institutions were separated from deaf institutions, and the focus shifted towards education of the blind, as was the case for the Royal Institute for Blind Youth, which Louis Braille attended (Jimenez et al, 2009). The growing acknowledgement of the uniqueness of different disabilities led to more targeted education strategies, fostering an environment in which the benefits of a specifically blind education could be more widely recognized.
Several different systems of tactile reading can be seen as forerunners to the method Louis Braille developed, but these systems were all developed based on the sighted system. The Royal Institute for Blind Youth in Paris taught the students to read embossed roman letters, a method created by the school’s founder, Valentin Hauy (Jimenez et al., 2009). Reading this way proved to be a rather arduous task, as the letters were difficult to distinguish by touch. The embossed letter method was based on the reading system of sighted people, with minimal adaptation for those with vision loss. As a result, this method did not gain significant success among blind students.
Louis Braille was bound to be influenced by his school’s founder, but the most influential pre-Braille tactile reading system was Charles Barbier’s night writing. A soldier in Napoleon’s army, Barbier developed a system in 1819 that used 12 dots with a five line musical staff (Kersten, 1997). His intention was to develop a system that would allow the military to communicate at night without the need for light (Herron, 2009). The code developed by Barbier was phonetic (Jimenez et al., 2009); in other words, the code was designed for sighted people and was based on the sounds of words, not on an actual alphabet. Barbier discovered that variants of raised dots within a square were the easiest method of reading by touch (Jimenez et al., 2009). This system proved effective for the transmission of short messages between military personnel, but the symbols were too large for the fingertip, greatly reducing the speed at which a message could be read (Herron, 2009). For this reason, it was unsuitable for daily use and was not widely adopted in the blind community.
Nevertheless, Barbier’s military dot system was more efficient than Hauy’s embossed letters, and it provided the framework within which Louis Braille developed his method. Barbier’s system, with its dashes and dots, could form over 4000 combinations (Jimenez et al., 2009). Compared to the 26 letters of the Latin alphabet, this was an absurdly high number. Braille kept the raised dot form, but developed a more manageable system that would reflect the sighted alphabet. He replaced Barbier’s dashes and dots with just six dots in a rectangular configuration (Jimenez et al., 2009). The result was that the blind population in France had a tactile reading system using dots (like Barbier’s) that was based on the structure of the sighted alphabet (like Hauy’s); crucially, this system was the first developed specifically for the purposes of the blind.
While the Braille system gained immediate popularity with the blind students at the Institute in Paris, it had to gain acceptance among the sighted before its adoption throughout France. This support was necessary because sighted teachers and leaders had ultimate control over the propagation of Braille resources. Many of the teachers at the Royal Institute for Blind Youth resisted learning Braille’s system because they found the tactile method of reading difficult to learn (Bullock & Galst, 2009). This resistance was symptomatic of the prevalent attitude that the blind population had to adapt to the sighted world rather than develop their own tools and methods. Over time, however, with the increasing impetus to make social contribution possible for all, teachers began to appreciate the usefulness of Braille’s system (Bullock & Galst, 2009), realizing that access to reading could help improve the productivity and integration of people with vision loss. It took approximately 30 years, but the French government eventually approved the Braille system, and it was established throughout the country (Bullock & Galst, 2009).
Although Blind people remained marginalized throughout the nineteenth century, the Braille system granted them growing opportunities for social participation. Most obviously, Braille allowed people with vision loss to read the same alphabet used by sighted people (Bullock & Galst, 2009), allowing them to participate in certain cultural experiences previously unavailable to them. Written works, such as books and poetry, had previously been inaccessible to the blind population without the aid of a reader, limiting their autonomy. As books began to be distributed in Braille, this barrier was reduced, enabling people with vision loss to access information autonomously. The closing of the gap between the abilities of blind and the sighted contributed to a gradual shift in blind people’s status, lessening the cultural perception of the blind as essentially different and facilitating greater social integration.
The Braille system also had important cultural effects beyond the sphere of written culture. Its invention later led to the development of a music notation system for the blind, although Louis Braille did not develop this system himself (Jimenez, et al., 2009). This development helped remove a cultural obstacle that had been introduced by the popularization of written musical notation in the early 1500s. While music had previously been an arena in which the blind could participate on equal footing, the transition from memory-based performance to notation-based performance meant that blind musicians were no longer able to compete with sighted musicians (Kersten, 1997). As a result, a tactile musical notation system became necessary for professional equality between blind and sighted musicians (Kersten, 1997).
Braille paved the way for dramatic cultural changes in the way blind people were treated and the opportunities available to them. Louis Braille’s innovation was to reimagine existing reading systems from a blind perspective, and the success of this invention required sighted teachers to adapt to their students’ reality instead of the other way around. In this sense, Braille helped drive broader social changes in the status of blindness. New accessibility tools provide practical advantages to those who need them, but they can also change the perspectives and attitudes of those who do not.
Bullock, J. D., & Galst, J. M. (2009). The Story of Louis Braille. Archives of Ophthalmology , 127(11), 1532. https://doi.org/10.1001/archophthalmol.2009.286.
Herron, M. (2009, May 6). Blind visionary. Retrieved from https://eandt.theiet.org/content/articles/2009/05/blind-visionary/.
Jiménez, J., Olea, J., Torres, J., Alonso, I., Harder, D., & Fischer, K. (2009). Biography of Louis Braille and Invention of the Braille Alphabet. Survey of Ophthalmology , 54(1), 142–149. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.survophthal.2008.10.006.
Kersten, F.G. (1997). The history and development of Braille music methodology. The Bulletin of Historical Research in Music Education , 18(2). Retrieved from https://www.jstor.org/stable/40214926.
Mellor, C.M. (2006). Louis Braille: A touch of genius . Boston: National Braille Press.
Tombs, R. (1996). France: 1814-1914 . London: Pearson Education Ltd.
Weygand, Z. (2009). The blind in French society from the Middle Ages to the century of Louis Braille . Stanford: Stanford University Press.
Frequently asked questions about writing an essay
An essay is a focused piece of writing that explains, argues, describes, or narrates.
In high school, you may have to write many different types of essays to develop your writing skills.
Academic essays at college level are usually argumentative : you develop a clear thesis about your topic and make a case for your position using evidence, analysis and interpretation.
The structure of an essay is divided into an introduction that presents your topic and thesis statement , a body containing your in-depth analysis and arguments, and a conclusion wrapping up your ideas.
The structure of the body is flexible, but you should always spend some time thinking about how you can organize your essay to best serve your ideas.
Your essay introduction should include three main things, in this order:
- An opening hook to catch the reader’s attention.
- Relevant background information that the reader needs to know.
- A thesis statement that presents your main point or argument.
The length of each part depends on the length and complexity of your essay .
A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay . Everything else you write should relate to this key idea.
A topic sentence is a sentence that expresses the main point of a paragraph . Everything else in the paragraph should relate to the topic sentence.
At college level, you must properly cite your sources in all essays , research papers , and other academic texts (except exams and in-class exercises).
Add a citation whenever you quote , paraphrase , or summarize information or ideas from a source. You should also give full source details in a bibliography or reference list at the end of your text.
The exact format of your citations depends on which citation style you are instructed to use. The most common styles are APA , MLA , and Chicago .
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Bryson, S. (2021, December 06). Example of a Great Essay | Explanations, Tips & Tricks. Scribbr. Retrieved March 3, 2023, from https://www.scribbr.com/academic-essay/example-essay-structure/
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Examples of Great Introductory Paragraphs
Grab your reader's attention with the first words.
- Ph.D., Rhetoric and English, University of Georgia
- M.A., Modern English and American Literature, University of Leicester
- B.A., English, State University of New York
An introductory paragraph, as the opening of a conventional essay , composition , or report , is designed to grab people's attention. It informs readers about the topic and why they should care about it but also adds enough intrigue to get them to continue to read. In short, the opening paragraph is your chance to make a great first impression.
Writing a Good Introductory Paragraph
The primary purpose of an introductory paragraph is to pique the interest of your reader and identify the topic and purpose of the essay. It often ends with a thesis statement .
You can engage your readers right from the start through a number of tried-and-true ways. Posing a question, defining the key term, giving a brief anecdote , using a playful joke or emotional appeal, or pulling out an interesting fact are just a few approaches you can take. Use imagery, details, and sensory information to connect with the reader if you can. The key is to add intrigue along with just enough information so your readers want to find out more.
One way to do this is to come up with a brilliant opening line . Even the most mundane topics have aspects interesting enough to write about; otherwise, you wouldn't be writing about them, right?
When you begin writing a new piece, think about what your readers want or need to know. Use your knowledge of the topic to craft an opening line that will satisfy that need. You don't want to fall into the trap of what writers call "chasers" that bore your readers (such as "The dictionary defines...."). The introduction should make sense and hook the reader right from the start .
Make your introductory paragraph brief. Typically, just three or four sentences are enough to set the stage for both long and short essays. You can go into supporting information in the body of your essay, so don't tell the audience everything all at once.
Should You Write the Intro First?
You can always adjust your introductory paragraph later. Sometimes you just have to start writing. You can start at the beginning or dive right into the heart of your essay.
Your first draft may not have the best opening, but as you continue to write, new ideas will come to you, and your thoughts will develop a clearer focus. Take note of these and, as you work through revisions , refine and edit your opening.
If you're struggling with the opening, follow the lead of other writers and skip it for the moment. Many writers begin with the body and conclusion and come back to the introduction later. It's a useful, time-efficient approach if you find yourself stuck in those first few words.
Start where it's easiest to start. You can always go back to the beginning or rearrange later, especially if you have an outline completed or general framework informally mapped out. If you don't have an outline, even just starting to sketch one can help organize your thoughts and "prime the pump" as it were.
Successful Introductory Paragraphs
You can read all the advice you want about writing a compelling opening, but it's often easier to learn by example. Take a look at how some writers approached their essays and analyze why they work so well.
"As a lifelong crabber (that is, one who catches crabs, not a chronic complainer), I can tell you that anyone who has patience and a great love for the river is qualified to join the ranks of crabbers. However, if you want your first crabbing experience to be a successful one, you must come prepared."
– (Mary Zeigler, "How to Catch River Crabs" )
What did Zeigler do in her introduction? First, she wrote in a little joke, but it serves a dual purpose. Not only does it set the stage for her slightly more humorous approach to crabbing, but it also clarifies what type of "crabber" she's writing about. This is important if your subject has more than one meaning.
The other thing that makes this a successful introduction is the fact that Zeigler leaves us wondering. What do we have to be prepared for? Will the crabs jump up and latch onto you? Is it a messy job? What tools and gear do I need? She leaves us with questions, and that draws us in because now we want answers.
"Working part-time as a cashier at the Piggly Wiggly has given me a great opportunity to observe human behavior. Sometimes I think of the shoppers as white rats in a lab experiment, and the aisles as a maze designed by a psychologist. Most of the rats—customers, I mean—follow a routine pattern, strolling up and down the aisles, checking through my chute, and then escaping through the exit hatch. But not everyone is so dependable. My research has revealed three distinct types of abnormal customer: the amnesiac, the super shopper, and the dawdler."
– "Shopping at the Pig"
This revised classification essay begins by painting a picture of an ordinary scenario: the grocery store. But when used as an opportunity to observe human nature, as this writer does, it turns from ordinary to fascinating.
Who is the amnesiac? Would I be classified as the dawdler by this cashier? The descriptive language and the analogy to rats in a maze add to the intrigue, and readers are left wanting more. For this reason, even though it's lengthy, this is an effective opening.
"In March 2006, I found myself, at 38, divorced, no kids, no home, and alone in a tiny rowing boat in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. I hadn’t eaten a hot meal in two months. I’d had no human contact for weeks because my satellite phone had stopped working. All four of my oars were broken, patched up with duct tape and splints. I had tendinitis in my shoulders and saltwater sores on my backside.
"I couldn’t have been happier...."
– Roz Savage, " My Transoceanic Midlife Crisis ." Newsweek , March 20, 2011
Here is an example of reversing expectations. The introductory paragraph is filled with doom and gloom. We feel sorry for the writer but are left wondering whether the article will be a classic sob story. It is in the second paragraph where we find out that it's quite the opposite.
Those first few words of the second paragraph—which we cannot help but skim—surprise us and thus draw us in. How can the narrator be happy after all that sorrow? This reversal compels us to find out what happened.
Most people have had streaks where nothing seems to go right. Yet, it is the possibility of a turn of fortunes that compels us to keep going. This writer appealed to our emotions and a sense of shared experience to craft an effective read.
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Essay Writing Guide
Writing An Essay Introduction

A Complete Essay Introduction Writing Guide With Examples
13 min read
Published on: Feb 24, 2023
Last updated on: Feb 23, 2023

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Writing an essay introduction can be a daunting task, especially if you don't know where to start.
Essay introductions are the first impression that your reader will have of your paper. So, it's important to make sure they're well written and engaging. You want to draw in your readers with an interesting opening that sets the tone for the rest of your work.
If you're having difficulty crafting your essay introduction, let MyPerfectWords.com lend a hand!
We offer expert advice on how to write an effective essay introduction that will grab your reader’s attention from the very beginning and keep them engaged throughout.
With our tips and examples, you can create an incredible essay introduction that will set the tone for a well-written, powerful paper.
Without further ado, let's begin!

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The Definition of an Essay Introduction
An essay introduction is the first part of your paper that introduces the main points and presents your stance on the topic.
It should provide a brief overview of what readers can expect from the body of your paper, as well as any relevant background information. It should also be concise and direct, as too much fluff can quickly detract from your overall argument.
Purpose of the Essay Introduction
The purpose of an essay introduction is to provide the reader with a brief overview of your paper and its main points.
It should also set the tone for the rest of the paper by summing up your argument or presenting any pertinent background information. Essay introductions should be written in such a way as to capture the reader’s attention and keep them interested in reading the rest of your paper.
How To Write An Essay Introduction
The beginning of the essay sets the tone for the reader. It is essential to write an essay introduction that picks your reader’s interest and encourages them to read further.
There is no one way of starting an essay. Some people prefer getting started with the essay and write the introduction at the end of the writing process.
Whenever you decide to write the introduction, always focus on the tone and purpose of your essay.
Here is a quick guide on how to write an introduction paragraph for an essay.
Step 1: Start With a Hook
Start your essay introduction with an interesting hook statement that should pull the readers in. This is usually the first sentence that sets the tone of your essay. Start with something interesting, clear, and concise to grab the reader’s attention.
Here are some expert suggestions on how to create a hook:
- Start with an interesting fact
- Share an anecdote
- Write about a common misconception about your essay topic
- Start with a rhetorical question
You can also refer to other catchy hook examples for writing a captivating start of the essay introduction.
Step 2: Background Information
Give the background of your essay topic first, and then identify the themes.
The introduction always begins with an orientation. It contains statements that show how the topic relates to bigger issues addressed in the next part of the essay.
The information you present here should be focused and must relate to the main argument of your essay. You can mention points that you will discuss in the body section. But do not give much information in this section.
Here's an example of it:
Step 3: State the Limitations of Your Essay or Discussion
Since you cannot discuss everything that is present about the given topic, it is important that you limit your discussion. Narrow down your focus and inform the readers how and why you have chosen the given topic or subject.
Here's a demonstration of it.
Step 4: Write the Thesis Statement
The last part of the introduction is the thesis statement. The thesis statement is a brief overview of the entire essay. It demonstrates the fundamental idea and approach of the writer toward the essay topic.
The thesis statement is written at the end of the introductory paragraph.
Step 5: Conclude the Essay Introduction
Finally, you must conclude your essay introduction by summarising the points mentioned in it. This should be done in such a way that readers are encouraged to read further and start exploring the rest of your paper.
Your conclusion should also include a call-to-action that encourages readers to engage in further discussion.
Here's an example of a well-crafted introduction:
The Essay Introduction Structure
An essay introduction serves as the first impression for your reader. It sets the tone for the rest of your paper and tells the reader what to expect from your work. The structure of an essay introduction should include a hook, contextual information, and a thesis statement.
A hook is used to grab readers' attention and draw them in. It can be a quote, an anecdote, or an interesting fact. The goal of the hook is to make your reader interested in reading your essay and keep them engaged until the end.
Contextual Information
Contextual information gives the reader background on the subject you are writing about. This can include facts, definitions, and historical information. By providing this information, your reader will be better equipped to understand the rest of your essay.

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Thesis Statement
Your thesis statement is the main point of your paper and should be stated clearly in one sentence. It should briefly explain what you plan to discuss in the body of your paper. A good thesis statement should be specific and narrow in focus so that the reader can easily understand your argument.
Essay Introduction Outline
Essay Introduction Sample
Essay Introduction Examples
Here are some interesting introduction examples for different types of essays for you to go through and take help from.
Argumentative Essay Introduction Example
A good argumentative essay introduction is like an opening statement of the court. It involves presenting the facts at hand and the main argumentative approach in a rational and intellectual manner.
Here is an example for you to understand how to write an argumentative essay introduction.
Persuasive Essay Introduction Example
Writing a persuasive essay introduction is a tricky one. One of the reasons persuasive essay introductions are difficult to write is because it is difficult to persuade readers. As an author, you need to apply a subtle approach to your introduction.
Below is a perfect example of a persuasive essay introduction.
Compare and Contrast Essay Introduction Example
The compare and contrast essay introduction analyzes the similarities and differences between two or more subjects. They are often assigned to enhance the student’s critical abilities, analytical reasoning, and academic writing skills. A compare and contrast essay introduction is different in many ways; for instance, it introduces two elements within its first paragraph.
The following is a great introduction for a compare and contrast essay that you can refer to.
Descriptive Essay Introduction Example
Writing a descriptive essay introduction is easy when you know how to pen down your ideas. A descriptive essay provides a clear image of the topic and conveys a comprehensive understanding of the topic to the reader.
Here is an outstanding descriptive essay introduction example for your help.
Covid - 19 Essay Introduction Example
The coronavirus pandemic has had a devastating impact on life in many countries. But it has also shown how resilient people can be in the face of adversity. Writing an essay on this topic requires careful analysis of the current situation and its effects.
The following is a great example of an introduction to a Covid-19 Essay.
Abortion Essay Introduction Example
The abortion debate remains one of the most controversial topics in modern society.
Pro-choice and pro-life advocates have been debating this issue for decades, with no end in sight. Writing an essay on this topic requires thoughtful research and a clear understanding of both sides.
Here's an example of how to write an abortion essay introduction.
Heritage Day Essay Introduction
Heritage Day is an important holiday that celebrates the multicultural heritage of South Africa.
It's a day to remember and appreciate the nation’s diverse culture, while also reflecting on our shared history. Writing an essay on this topic requires careful consideration of its history and purpose.
Here is an example of a great Heritage Essay Introduction:
Essay Introduction: Mistakes to Avoid
For a good introduction, here are some mistakes that you should avoid writing in your introductory paragraph.
- Try to avoid writing a vague introduction of irrelevant details about the topic.
- Do not provide too much information and facts in the introduction. Simply present the topic with sufficient information for the reader’s understanding.
- Avoid using informal language or slang terms in the introduction. Essay introductions should be written in formal and academic language.
- Do not make assumptions about the reader’s knowledge of the topic. Provide only basic background information to fill any gaps in understanding.
- Finally, do not introduce any new information in the introduction. The introduction should only provide an overview of what will be discussed in the essay, not dive into details.
By avoiding these mistakes, you can ensure that your essay introduction is clear and concise. It will help readers easily understand the topic and follow your argument throughout the paper.
Essay Introduction Writing Tips
The following are some expert essay writing tips that you can follow for an interesting introduction.
- The introduction should grab the reader’s attention and inculcate a sense of curiosity amongst them to read the whole essay.
- Provide background information. The background gives context to your essay. But the claims, arguments, and information should always be present within the body of the essay.
- Don’t forget to provide a thesis that is the main argument of the essay.
- Always leave out irrelevant information and use appropriate language that adds precise information.
Remember, an essay introduction is very important as it is the first element of an essay outline . However, it is not an easy task to accomplish.
Watch this video to learn the steps required for crafting a compelling essay.
Lastly, keep in mind that there are many ways you can be creative with your essay introduction. Well-composed opening lines will help you grab the reader’s attention.
Hopefully, the guidelines in this blog helped you in coming up with a strategy to engage your readers from the start.
If you are struggling to make your essay introduction engaging, look no further. We are a professional online essay writing service that guarantees top-quality essays.
MyPerfectWords.com will provide the perfect "hook" for an introductory paragraph and write a compelling story from start to finish!
Hire our top essay writer service today!
Nova A. (Literature, Marketing)
Nova Allison is a Digital Content Strategist with over eight years of experience. Nova has also worked as a technical and scientific writer. She is majorly involved in developing and reviewing online content plans that engage and resonate with audiences. Nova has a passion for writing that engages and informs her readers.
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Essay Introduction Examples
#scribendiinc
Written by Scribendi
Always have a road map for an essay introduction . Having a strong essay introduction structure is critical to a successful paper. It sets the tone for the reader and interests them in your work. It also tells them what the essay is about and why they should read it at all.
It shouldn't leave the reader confused with a cliffhanger at the end. Instead, it should generate interest and guide the reader to Chapter One. Using the right parts of an essay introduction can help with this.
Check out an effective essay introduction structure below. It’s a road map for writing an essay—just like the parts of essay introductions are road maps for readers.
Essay Introduction Structure
Attention-grabbing start
Outline of argument
Thesis statement
Some academics find the beginning the most difficult part of writing an essay , so our editors have created some examples of good essay introductions to guide you. Let's take a look at the samples below to see how the essay introduction structures come together.
If you are unsure about your paper, our essay editors would love to give you some feedback on how to write an essay introduction.
[1] According to Paul Ratsmith, the tenuous but nonetheless important relationship between pumpkins and rats is little understood: "While I've always been fascinated by this natural kinship, the connection between pumpkins and rats has been the subject of few, if any, other studies" (2008). [2] Ratsmith has been studying this connection, something he coined "pumpkinology," since the early 1990s. He is most well known for documenting the three years he spent living in the wild among pumpkins and rats. [3] Though it is a topic of little recent interest, the relationship has been noted in several ancient texts and seems to have been well understood by the Romans. Critics of Ratsmith have cited poor science and questionable methodology when dismissing his results, going so far as to call pumpkinology "rubbish" (de Vil, 2009), "stupid" (Claw, 2010), and "quite possibly made up" (Igthorn, 2009). [4] Despite these criticisms, there does appear to be a strong correlation between pumpkin patches and rat populations, with Ratsmith documenting numerous pumpkin–rat colonies across North America, leading to the conclusion that pumpkins and rats are indeed "nature's best friends" (2008).
Let's break down this example of a good essay introduction structure. The beginning hooks our attention from the get-go in section one. This is because it piques our curiosity. What is this strange relationship? Why has no one studied it? Then, section two gives us context for the topic. Ratsmith is an expert in a controversial field: pumpkinology. It's the study of the connection between pumpkins and rats.
The second half of the paragraph also demonstrates why this is a good essay introduction example. Section three gives us the main argument: the topic is rarely studied because critics think Ratsmith's work is "rubbish," but the relationship between pumpkins and rats has ancient roots. Then section four gives us the thesis statement: Ratsmith's work has some merit.
The parts of an essay introduction help us chart a course through the topic. We know the paper will take us on a journey. It's all because the author practiced how to write an essay introduction.
Let’s take a look at another example of a good essay introduction.
[1] Societies have long believed that if a black cat crosses one's path, one might have bad luck—but it wasn't until King Charles I's black cat died that the ruler's bad luck began (Pemberton, 2018). [2] Indeed, for centuries, black cats have been seen as the familiars of witches—as demonic associates of Satan who disrespect authority (Yuko, 2021). Yet, they have also been associated with good luck, from England's rulers to long-distance sailors (Cole, 2021). [3] This essay shows how outdated the bad luck superstition really is. It provides a comprehensive history of the belief and then provides proof that this superstition has no place in today's modern society. [4] It argues that despite the prevailing belief that animals cause bad luck, black cats often bring what seems to be "good luck" and deserve a new reputation.
This example of a good essay introduction pulls us in right away. This is because section one provides an interesting fact about King Charles I. What is the story there, and what bad luck did he experience after his cat passed away? Then, section two provides us with general information about the current status of black cats. We understand the context of the essay and why the topic is controversial.
Section three then gives us a road map that leads us through the main arguments. Finally, section four gives us the essay's thesis: "black cats often bring what seems to be 'good luck' and deserve a new reputation."
Still feeling unsure about how to write an essay introduction? Here's another example using the essay introduction structure we discussed earlier.
[1] When the Lutz family moved into a new house in Amityville, New York, they found themselves terrorized by a vengeful ghost (Labianca, 2021). Since then, their famous tale has been debunked by scientists and the family themselves (Smith, 2005). [2] Yet ghost stories have gripped human consciousness for centuries (History, 2009). Scientists, researchers, and theorists alike have argued whether ghosts are simply figments of the imagination or real things that go bump in the night. In considering this question, many scientists have stated that ghosts may actually exist. [3] Lindley (2017) believes the answer may be in the quantum world, which "just doesn’t work the way the world around us works," but "we don’t really have the concepts to deal with it." Scientific studies on the existence of ghosts date back hundreds of years (History, 2009), and technology has undergone a vast evolution since then (Lamey, 2018). State-of-the-art tools and concepts can now reveal more about ghosts than we've ever known (Kane, 2015). [4] This essay uses these tools to provide definitive proof of the existence of ghosts in the quantum realm.
This example of a good essay introduction uses a slightly different strategy than the others. To hook the reader, it begins with an interesting anecdote related to the topic. That pulls us in, making us wonder what really happened to the Lutzs. Then, section two provides us with some background information about the topic to help us understand. Many people believe ghosts aren't real, but some scientists think they are.
This immediately flows into section three, which charts a course through the main arguments the essay will make. Finally, it ends with the essay's thesis: there is definitive proof of the existence of ghosts in the quantum realm. It all works because the author used the parts of an essay introduction well.
For attention-grabbing introductions, an understanding of essay introduction structure and how to write an essay introduction is required.
Our essay introduction examples showing the parts of an essay introduction will help you craft the beginning paragraph you need to start your writing journey on the right foot.
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MLA Formatting and MLA Style: An Introduction
Argumentative Essay – Outline, Form, and Examples

What is an argumentative essay?
An argumentative essay requires the writer to investigate a specific topic by collecting and evaluating evidence to establish a position on the subject matter.
When preparing to compose a good argumentative essay, utilize the following steps:
Step 1: Select a topic.
Step 2: Identify a position.
Step 3: Locate appropriate resources.
Step 4: Identify evidence supporting the position. ( NOTE: If there is little evidence in support of the claim, consider re-examining the main argument.)

When gathering evidence, use credible sources . To determine the credibility of the source, consider authority, currency, accuracy, and objectivity:
Who is the author ? Are they an expert in the field? Has a reputable publisher published the work?
How current is the information in the source? Does the currency of the source matter? Does the age of the source impact the content? Is there newer information that disproves the source’s information?
Can other sources verify the accuracy of the information? Does the information contradict that found in other commonly accepted sources?
Is there any evidence of bias, or is the source objective ? Is the research sponsored by an organization that may skew the information?
The following are typically recognized as providing appropriate, credible research material:
Peer-reviewed journals/research papers
Government agencies
Professional organizations
Library databases
Reference books

Writers should avoid using the following sources:
Social media posts
Out-of-date materials
Step 5: Utilize the research to determine a thesis statement that identifies the topic, position, and support(s).
Step 6: Use the evidence to construct an outline, detailing the main supports and relevant evidence.

Argumentative essay outline
After gathering all of the necessary research, the next step in composing an argumentative essay focuses on organizing the information through the use of an outline:
Introduction
Attention Grabber/Hook
Background Information: Include any background information pertinent to the topic that the reader needs to know to understand the argument.
Thesis: State the position in connection to the main topic and identify the supports that will help prove the argument.
Topic sentence
Identify evidence in support of the claim in the topic sentence
Explain how the evidence supports the argument
Evidence 3 (Continue as needed)
Support 2 (Continue as needed)
Restate thesis
Review main supports
Concluding statement
Invite the audience to take a specific action.
Identify the overall importance of the topic and position.

How to write an argumentative essay
Regardless of the writer’s topic or point of view, an argumentative essay should include an introductory paragraph, body paragraphs, a conclusion, and works cited.
Background information
Body Paragraphs
Analysis of evidence
Rephrased thesis
Review of main ideas
Call to action
Works Cited

Argumentative essay introduction
The introduction sets the tone for the entire paper and introduces the argument. In general, the first paragraph(s) should attract the reader’s attention, provide relevant context, and conclude with a thesis statement.
To attract the reader's attention , start with an introductory device. There are several attention-grabbing techniques, the most common of which consist of the following:
The writer can emphasize the topic’s importance by explaining the current interest in the topic or indicating that the subject is influential.
Pertinent statistics give the paper an air of authority.
There are many reasons for a stimulating statement to surprise a reader. Sometimes it is joyful; sometimes it is shocking; sometimes it is surprising because of who said it.
An interesting incident or anecdote can act as a teaser to lure the reader into the remainder of the essay. Be sure that the device is appropriate for the subject and focus of what follows.
Provide the reader with relevant context and background information necessary to understand the topic.
Conclude with a thesis statement that identifies the overall purpose of the essay (topic and position). Writers can also include their support directly in the thesis, which outlines the structure of the essay for the reader.
Avoid the following when writing the introduction to argumentative writing:
Starting with dictionary definitions is too overdone and unappealing.
Do not make an announcement of the topic like “In this paper I will…” or “The purpose of this essay is to….”
Evidence supporting or developing the thesis should be in the body paragraphs, not the introduction.
Beginning the essay with general or absolute statements such as “throughout history...” or “as human beings we always...” or similar statements suggest the writer knows all of history or that all people behave or think in the same way.
Argumentative essay thesis
The thesis statement is the single, specific claim the writer sets out to prove and is typically positioned as the last sentence of the introduction . It is the controlling idea of the entire argument that identifies the topic, position, and reasoning.
When constructing a thesis for an argumentative paper, make sure it contains a side of the argument, not simply a topic. An argumentative thesis identifies the writer’s position on a given topic. If a position cannot be taken, then it is not argumentative thesis:
Topic: Capital punishment is practiced in many states.
Thesis: Capital punishment should be illegal.
While not always required, the thesis statement can include the supports the writer will use to prove the main claim. Therefore, a thesis statement can be structured as follows:
TOPIC + POSITION (+ SUPPORTS)
No Supports: College athletes (TOPIC) should be financially compensated (POSITION).
Supports: College athletes (TOPIC) should be financially compensated (POSITION) because they sacrifice their minds and bodies (SUPPORT 1), cannot hold
Argumentative essay body paragraphs
Body paragraphs can be of varying lengths, but they must present a coherent argument unified under a single topic. They are rarely ever longer than one page, double-spaced; usually they are much shorter.
Lengthy paragraphs indicate a lack of structure. Identify the main ideas of a lengthy paragraph to determine if they make more sense as separate topics in separate paragraphs.
Shorter paragraphs usually indicate a lack of substance; there is not enough evidence or analysis to prove the argument. Develop the ideas more or integrate the information into another paragraph.
The structure of an argumentative paragraph should include a topic sentence, evidence, and a transition.
The topic sentence is the thesis of the paragraph that identifies the arguable point in support of the main argument. The reader should know exactly what the writer is trying to prove within the paragraph by reading the first sentence.
The supporting evidence and analysis provide information to support the claim. There should be a balance between the evidence (facts, quotations, summary of events/plot, etc.) and analysis (interpretation of evidence). If the paragraph is evidence-heavy, there is not much of an argument; if it is analysis-heavy, there is not enough evidence in support of the claim.
The transition can be at the beginning or the end of a paragraph. However, it is much easier to combine the transition with the concluding observation to help the paragraphs flow into one another. Transitions in academic writing should tell the reader where you were, where you are going, and relate to the thesis.
Some essays may benefit from the inclusion of rebuttals to potential counterarguments of the writer’s position.
Argumentative essay conclusion
The conclusion should make readers glad they read the paper. It can suggest broader implications that will not only interest readers but also enrich their understanding in some way. There are three aspects to follow when constructing the conclusion: rephrase the thesis, synthesize information, and call the reader to action.
Rephrased the thesis in the first sentence of the conclusion. It must be in different words; do not simply write it verbatim.
Synthesize the argument by showing how the paper's main points support the argument.
Propose a course of action or a solution to an issue. This can redirect the reader's thought process to apply the ideas to their life or to see the broader implications of the topic.
Avoid the following when constructing the conclusion:
Beginning with an unnecessary, overused phrase such as "in conclusion," "in summary," or "in closing;" although these phrases can work in speeches, they come across as trite in writing
Introducing a new idea or subtopic in the conclusion
Making sentimental, emotional appeals that are out of character with the rest of the paper
Including evidence (quotations, statistics, etc.) that should be in the body of the paper
Argumentative essay examples
Examples of argumentative essays vary depending upon the type:
Academic essays differ based upon the topic and position. These essays follow a more traditional structure and are typically assigned in high school or college. Examples of academic argumentative essay topics include the following:
Advantages or disadvantages of social media
Animal testing
Art education
Benefit or detriment of homework
Capital punishment
Class warfare
Immigration
School uniforms
Universal healthcare
Violence in video games
Argumentative literary essays are typically more informal and do not follow the same structure as an academic essay. The following are popular examples of argumentative literary essays:
“Letter from Birmingham Jail” by Martin Luther King, Jr.
“Death of the Moth” by Virginia Woolf
“Shooting an Elephant” by George Orwell
“Thoughts for the Times on War and Death” by Sigmund Freud
“Does the Truth Matter? Science, Pseudoscience, and Civilization” by Carl Sagan
“Self-Reliance” by Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Strong Introduction Paragraph Examples

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No matter what type of writing you do, a strong introduction is important for setting the tone for your work. From blog posts to high school essays, the right introduction can pique a reader's interest and draw them in to keep reading. Use these strong introduction examples to inspire you as you write.
Strong Introductions for Essays
Whether you're writing an essay for class, answering an essay question on a test, crafting a college application, or writing any other type of essay-style work, your introduction paragraph is one of the most important you'll write.
Use a Surprising Fact
You can capture the reader's attention with a surprising fact or statement. Then, state your thesis clearly and succinctly, as in this example:
With recent studies showing that, on average, dog owners live up to 24% longer than those without canine companions, there's no doubt that a dog can have a range of physical and mental health benefits for its owner. These include a more active lifestyle, a social network of other pet owners, companionship, and a sense of purpose.
Pose a Question
Another way to engage your reader in your essay introduction is to ask a rhetorical question. This is a good way to start a persuasive essay or even a newspaper editorial . This example shows how you must carefully choose this question to support your thesis:
Global climate change is a crisis that affects everyone, rich and poor, young and old. From rising ocean levels to increased temperature extremes, the world is changing for everyone. How will your life be different in the coming years?
Start With an Anecdote
A short anecdote is a good way to start a personal essay , especially if it fits with your overall theme. Consider this example:
When I got home from school that day, my grandmother greeted me with a plate of cookies and a worried expression. I hadn't received the scholarship I needed to go to ballet camp, and we'd need to find another way to earn the money. That's when I started my business giving dance lessons to preschoolers, and it's taught me a lot about how to solve problems on my own.
Great Report Introductions
Reports aren't always the most fascinating kind of writing to read, so a really great introduction can make a huge difference in your reader engagement. You need to be clear about what you're discussing and offer any background information your reader might need.
Set the Stage
Give the reader important background information with an introduction like this:
With our sales up 25% and more than 2,500 positive reviews online, it's safe to say our product is embraced by consumers. We're using this information to project growth for the coming year.
State Your Point Clearly
Reports are about facts, but readers may not want to wade through all the data to get to your point. A strong introduction can give them a preview of what they'll find inside:
The water quality in Smith County has improved from a century ago, but there are still a number of contaminants of concern. Storm water run-off has been the major contributor to water pollution in the area.
Strong News and Feature Article Introductions
When you introduce an article, either online or in a more traditional newspaper , it's essential to have a "hook." Writing a hook takes a little extra thought, but it will make the reader continue past your introduction and into the body of your article.
Start With Something Shocking
People naturally want to read things that are shocking or surprising. Offer up a little drama for a strong introduction paragraph:
When Charles Jones went into the gas station Tuesday night, he did not expect to be caught in the middle of an armed robbery. However, that is exactly what happened.
Use a Statistic
You can start with a good statistic and hint at more information to come. People will read on because they want to know the rest of the story.
While for 60% of people, milk is the perfect beverage to go with a cookie, that's not true for everyone. A new study shows that up to 40% of people prefer something different with their bedtime snack.
Creative Introductions for Blog Posts
When you write a blog post, you need to engage your reader right away with a creative introduction. In the world of online reading, it's easy to navigate away to something else. The introduction is your chance to keep your reader on your blog.
Get Personal
Depending on the type of blog post you're writing, it can make sense to offer some personal perspective on your topic right away. Your reader is here for your voice, so you need to use it. This example will show you one way to do that:
My sister thought I was crazy to try to remake some thrift store jeans into an awesome maxi skirt. She told me she'd personally model the skirt for the blog if it worked. Well, when you see how fabulous she looks, you'll need to make one too.
You can also engage your audience right away with a humorous blog post introduction. Try a funny personal anecdote:
I'm not going to lie. The first time I made an art doll out of clay, it was a total nightmare. I literally had bad dreams about that thing for a week. But I'll save you the terror and show you how to create a not-so-scary doll with these techniques.
Great Short Story Introductions
If you're writing a short story, you need a creative introduction to get your reader engaged right away. In a novel, you have the whole first chapter , but because the length of your short story is limited, your introduction needs to suck your reader in within just a few sentences.
Bring in Vivid Imagery
Make your reader experience the world of your story by adding vivid sensory details. Using imagery that involves the senses lets your reader feel like he or she is in the story.
Even before I opened my eyes, the scent of lilacs told me I had a visitor. Here in the nursing home, everything has the same smell - a mixture of cafeteria food, cleaning products, and old people odors. A sudden scent of lilacs meant someone was here to see me.
Start in the Middle of Things
When you're writing fiction, you can start your story at the last possible moment to get your reader engaged. This is called "in medias res" (in the middle of things). Because the action is already happening, your reader won't be able to stop reading. Try something like this creative introduction example:
I hit the water with a slap that knocked the wind out of me. For a moment, I could hear my sister screaming from the deck of the ship, but then everything went quiet as my ears went under water.
Engage the Reader With a Strong Introduction
No matter what type of writing you're doing, a strong introduction is one way to get your audience to keep reading. After you've captured their attention, get more tips to engage the reader in the rest of your piece. An engaged reader means your writing is effective and powerful.
How to Write a Five-Paragraph Essay, With Outlines and an Example
A five-paragraph essay is a simple format for writing a complete essay, fitting the minimal components of an essay into just five paragraphs. Although it doesn’t have much breadth for complexity, the five-paragraph essay format is useful for helping students and academics structure basic papers.
If you’re having trouble writing , you can use the five-paragraph essay format as a guide or template. Below we discuss the fundamentals of the five-paragraph essay, explaining how to write one and what to include.
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What is a five-paragraph essay?
The five-paragraph essay format is a guide that helps writers structure an essay. It consists of one introductory paragraph, three body paragraphs for support, and one concluding paragraph. Because of this structure, it has been nicknamed the “hamburger essay,” the “one-three-one essay,” and the “three-tier essay.”
You won’t find too many five-paragraph essay examples in literature, simply because the format is too short. The five-paragraph essay format is more popular for educational assignments, such as school papers or quick writing exercises. Think of it as a writing tool to guide structure rather than an independent genre of essay.
Part of the appeal of the five-paragraph essay format is that it can accommodate all types of essays . No matter your assignment, whether an argumentative essay or a compare-and-contrast essay , you can apply the structure of a five-paragraph essay to communicate clearly and logically, as long as your topic is simple enough to be covered in just five paragraphs.
How to start a five-paragraph essay
As with all essays, before you begin writing a five-paragraph essay, you first need to know your thesis, or main topic. Your thesis is the idea you will defend or expand upon, and ultimately what your entire essay is about, and the three paragraphs in the middle will support, prove, or elaborate on your thesis.
Naturally, you can’t begin writing until you know what you’re writing about. If your thesis is not provided in the assignment, choose one that has sufficient content for discussion, or at least enough to fill five paragraphs.
Writers typically explain the thesis in the thesis statement , a sentence in the first paragraph that tells the reader what the essay is about. You don’t need to write this first, but phrasing the topic as a single sentence can help you to understand it, focus it, and revise it if needed.
Once you’ve selected a topic, we recommend writing a quick essay outline so you know what information to include and in which paragraphs. Your five-paragraph essay outline is like a blueprint where you can perfect the order and structure of your essay beforehand to save time on editing later.
Writing a five-paragraph essay outline shouldn’t take long, especially if you use our format below as a template.
How to transition between paragraphs
One of the biggest challenges in essay writing is transitioning from one paragraph to another. Good writing is seamless and fluid, so if your paragraph transitions are jarring or abrupt, readers will get distracted from the flow and lose momentum or even interest.
The best way to move logically from one point to another is to create transition sentences using words or phrases like “however,” “similarly,” or “on the other hand.” Sometimes adding a single word to the beginning of a paragraph is enough to connect it to the preceding paragraph and keep the reader on track. You can find a full list of transition words and phrases here .
Five-paragraph essay format
If you’re writing your five-paragraph essay outline—or if you’re diving right into the first draft—it helps to know what information to include in each paragraph. Just like in all prose writing, the basic components of your essay are its paragraphs .
In five-paragraph essays, each paragraph has a unique role to play. Below we explain the goals for each specific paragraph and what to include in them.
Introductory paragraph
The first paragraph is crucial. Not only does it set the tone of your entire essay, it also introduces the topic to the reader so they know what to expect. Luckily, many of the same suggestions for how to start an essay still apply to five-paragraph essays.
First and foremost, your introductory paragraph should contain your thesis statement. This single sentence clearly communicates what the entire essay is about, including your opinion or argument, if it’s warranted.
The thesis statement is often the first sentence, but feel free to move it back if you want to open with something more attention-grabbing, like a hook. In writing, a hook is something that attracts the reader’s interest, such as mystery, urgency, or good old-fashioned drama.
Your introductory paragraph is also a good spot to include any background context for your topic. You should save the most significant information for the body paragraphs, but you can use the introduction to give basic information that your readers might not know.
Finally, your introductory paragraph should touch on the individual points made in the subsequent paragraphs, similar to an outline. You don’t want to give too much away in the first paragraph, just a brief mention of what you’ll discuss. Save the details for the following paragraphs, where you’ll have room to elaborate.
Body paragraphs
The three body paragraphs are the “meat” of your essay, where you describe details, share evidence, explain your reasoning, and otherwise advance your thesis. Each paragraph should be a separate and independent topic that supports your thesis.
Start each paragraph with a topic sentence , which acts a bit like a thesis statement, except it describes the topic of only that paragraph. The topic sentence summarizes the point that the entire paragraph makes, but saves the details for the following sentences. Don’t be afraid to include a transition word or phrase in the topic sentence if the subject change from the previous paragraph is too drastic.
After the topic sentence, fill in the rest of the paragraph with the details. These could be persuasive arguments, empirical data, quotes from authoritative sources, or just logical reasoning. Be sure to avoid any sentences that are off-topic or tangential; five-paragraph essays are supposed to be concise, so include only the relevant details.
Concluding paragraph
The final paragraph concludes the essay. You don’t want to add any new evidence or support in the last paragraph; instead, summarize the points from the previous paragraphs and tie them together. Here, the writer restates the thesis and reminds the reader of the points made in the three body paragraphs.
If the goal of your essay is to convince the reader to do something, like donate to a cause or change their behavior, the concluding paragraph can also include a call to action. A call to action is a statement or request that explains clearly what the writer wants the reader to do. For example, if your topic is preventing forest fires, your call to action might be: “Remember to obey safety laws when camping.”
The basic principles of how to write a conclusion for an essay apply to five-paragraph essays as well. For example, the final paragraph is a good time to explain why this topic matters or to add your own opinion. It also helps to end with a thought-provoking sentence, such as an open-ended question, to give your audience something to think about after reading.
Five-paragraph essay example
Here’s a five-paragraph essay example, so you can better understand how they work.
Capybaras make great pets, and the laws against owning them should be reconsidered. Capybaras are a dog-sized animal with coarse fur, native to eastern South America. They’re known across the internet as the friendliest animal on the planet, but there’s a lot of misinformation about them as pets. They’re considered an exotic animal, so a lot of legal restrictions prevent people from owning them as pets, but it’s time to reevaluate these laws.
For one thing, capybaras are rodents—the largest rodents in the world, actually—and plenty of rodents are already normalized as pets. Capybaras are closely related to guinea pigs and chinchillas, both of which are popular pets, and more distantly related to mice and rats, another common type of pet. In nature, most rodents (including capybaras) are social animals and live in groups, which makes them accustomed to life as a pet.
There are a lot of prevalent myths about capybaras that dissuade people from owning them, but most of these are unfounded. For example, people assume capybaras smell bad, but this is not true; their special fur actually resists odor. Another myth is that they’re messy, but in reality, capybaras don’t shed often and can even be litter-trained! One rumor based in truth is that they can be destructive and chew on their owners’ things, but so can dogs, and dogs are one of the most common pets we have.
The one reasonable criticism for keeping capybaras as pets is that they are high-maintenance. Capybaras require lots of space to run around and are prone to separation anxiety if owners are gone most of the day. Moreover, capybaras are semi-aquatic, so it’s best for them to have a pool to swim in. However difficult these special conditions are to meet, they’re all still doable; as with all pets, the owners should simply commit to these prerequisites before getting one.
All in all, the advantages of capybaras as pets outweigh the cons. As rodents, they’re social and trainable, and many of the deterrent myths about them are untrue. Even the extra maintenance they require is still manageable. If capybaras are illegal to own where you live, contact your local lawmakers and petition them to reconsider these laws. You’ll see first-hand just why the internet has fallen in love with this “friend-shaped” animal!
In this example, you’ll notice a lot of the points we discussed earlier.
The first sentence in the first paragraph is our thesis statement, which explains what this essay is about and the writer’s stance on the subject. Also in the first paragraph is the necessary background information for context, in this case a description of capybaras for readers who aren’t familiar with them.
Notice how each of the three body paragraphs focuses on its own particular topic. The first discusses how rodents in general make good pets, and the second dispels some common rumors about capybaras as pets. The third paragraph directly addresses criticism of the writer’s point of view, a common tactic used in argumentative and persuasive essays to strengthen the writer’s argument.
Last, the concluding paragraph reiterates the previous points and ties them together. Because the topic involves laws about keeping capybaras as pets, there’s a call to action about contacting lawmakers. The final sentence is written as a friendly send-off, leaving the reader at a high point.
Five-paragraph essay FAQ
What is a five-paragraph essay.
A five-paragraph essay is a basic form of essay that acts as a writing tool to teach structure. It’s common in schools for short assignments and writing practice.
How is it structured?
The five-paragraph essay structure consists of, in order: one introductory paragraph that introduces the main topic and states a thesis, three body paragraphs to support the thesis, and one concluding paragraph to wrap up the points made in the essay.


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Examples Of Intro Paragraph For Fahrenheit 451
Theme paragraph of the novel 'fahrenheit 451'.
Fahrenheit 451 is a dystopian novel that is written by American writer Ray Bradbury. It is about how in the future society that books are banned, and that whoever has any type of book in their house will get their house burnt down by fireman. The theme is fighting for things you believe in because you have a right to fight for things you believe in , because the woman is ordered to leave her house but she doesn’t. She chooses to rebel against the law because she doesn’t believe in it and it costed her life. Another example of rebelling against the rules is when Faber and Montag were at Faber’s house talking about books, and Faber stated, “I’m one of the innocents
Examples Of Characterization In Fahrenheit 451
Everyone has certain characteristics which makes them who they are. Being funny, intelligence, or ignorant are a few. This also applies to book characters. Many of the characters from Ray Bradbury’s novel, Fahrenheit 451, have different personalities such as knowledge and ignorance.
Fahrenheit 451 Knowledge Is Power Analysis
“Knowledge is power”. In the novel Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, Guy Montag is the protagonist in a dystopian world. The story takes place at a time when society was falling apart, books were banned because they gave people ideas and made them think outside of the box and this supposedly made the people “unhappy”. Knowledge and the progression of society go hand in hand, the removal of knowledge is the destruction of progress.
Fahrenheit 451 Theme Essay
Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury, is a uniquely shocking and provocative novel about a dystopian society set in a future where reading is outlawed, thinking is considered a sin, technology is at its prime, and human interaction is scarce. Through his main protagonist, Guy Montag, Bradbury brings attention to the dangers of a controlled society, and the problems that can arise from censorship. As a fireman, it is Guy's job to destroy books, and start fires rather than put them out. After meeting a series of unusual characters, a spark is ignited in Montag and he develops a desire for knowledge and a want to protect the books. Bradbury's novel teaches its readers how too much censorship and control can lead to further damage and the repetition of history’s mistakes through the use of symbolism, imagery, and motif.
Coming Of Age Journey In Fahrenheit 451
Ray Bradbury 's novel Fahrenheit 451 delineates a society where books and quality information are censored while useless media is consumed daily by the citizens. Through the use of the character Mildred as a foil to contrast the distinct coming of age journey of the protagonist Guy Montag, Bradbury highlights the dangers of ignorance in a totalitarian society as well as the importance of critical thinking.
A Dystopian Society In Fahrenheit 451 By Ray Bradbury
A dystopian society is a dysfunctional society that is marketed to its citizens as a utopian society. It includes elements such as a lack/ downplay of religion or one government sanctioned religion that everyone must follow. The government either uses force and or fear to control its population. There is a suppression of freedom of speech and a suppression of intellectualism. In this society, there is a protagonist who rebels against the status quo. In Fahrenheit 451, this protagonist is Montag. Once an oppressor of freedom and intellectualism by burning books, Montag goes against the norms of his society and uncovers the truth about the society. In Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury elucidates that technology imprisons the human mind, limiting individual
Independence In Fahrenheit 451
Without the presence of words and books, one loses the ability to be independent, like most characters in Fahrenheit 451. The main character, Guy Montag, does not wish to be like everyone else; he wants to have the ability to consider things for himself. With all of the brand-new technology and the disappearance of books, he believes this is no longer possible. In Ray Bradbury’s novel, Fahrenheit 451, the presence of technology in society are used to prove the importance of reading, independence, and thinking for oneself.
Outline For Fahrenheit 451
Thesis: In Fahrenheit 451, the most apparent dystopian trait in Montag's society is the authorities ‘’brainwashing ’’ the citizens to believe they live in a perfect utopia.
Role Of Individualism In Fahrenheit 451
In Fahrenheit 451 Ray Bradbury describes a dystopian world in which society has become hostile to knowledge and literature because it threatens to bring out the differences amongst individuals. This attitude towards literature and books has made reading an illegal activity. This change in attitude towards books provides changes not only in the society but also in the individual; the lack of emotion and the lack of individualism are prevalent throughout the text. Although the problematic effects Bradbury predicted for humanity and the self are not likely to become this extreme, with the decline in reading and mass media becoming the center of attention it is not hard to see how close our future is beginning to look like that of Fahrenheit
Why Is Books Important In Fahrenheit 451
In the society of Fahrenheit 451 people do not read books, enjoy nature, think independently or have meaningful conversations. Instead, they drive fast and watch excessive amounts of television on wall-size screens. The main problem is the lack of words and therefore lack of individuality. Books and literature play an important role in the novel, from society’s deprivation of access to books to Montag’s development from passive individual to intellectual thinker.
Theme Of Knowledge In Fahrenheit 451
Can you think of a situation in your life where you have had a strong opinion on a certain topic, but over time as you gained new knowledge, your opinion changed? This type of event happens often in our world, and is a strong theme seen in the novel Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. Throughout the story the main character, Montag, gains a lot of new knowledge and learns many new things. As his personal knowledge grows, his views on the way things are in society begin to shift and alter from that of most people. This can also apply to our society in many ways, whether it be government control or media or social issues. Through this essay you will come to see how historical and modern situations such as Nazi Germany and the media in our world mimic
One Body Paragraph For Fahrenheit 451
Fahrenheit 451 written by Ray Bradbury is about a world in the future where books are outlawed and everything is censored. “Firemen”, burn any books that are found and those who are in possession of the books are arrested.
Ray Bradbury's Dystopian Fahrenheit 451
In Ray Bradbury’s dystopian Fahrenheit 451, Guy Montag experiences a paradigm shift as he transforms from a disoriented fireman to a learner who wants to gain knowledge through literature. Montag struggles with his newfound fascination with what was once trivial items because of his inability to ask questions under the bonds of conformity. However, the society prohibits people from reading for fear that they would express individuality and perhaps even rebel once they gain knowledge. Through the use of characterization and diction, the Bradbury demonstrates Montag’s desire for individuality and the society’s command of conformity in order to build a suspenseful mood, which keeps the reader’s interest.
A dystopian novel based on the idea that books are prohibited and how the government hunts for books and their owners. “the book's tagline explains the title: "Fahrenheit 451 – the temperature at which book paper catches fire, and burns..." (Wikimedia Foundation, 2018). The main character Guy Montag how is a fireman in charge or burning the forbidden readings, over time he starts to question the reasons behind those actions, also they mention how other forms of entertainment like films or magazines still available to general public, Montag realizes that he just can not keep normal and vague conversations with his wife or other people furthermore he founds that the entertainment provided on media is just flat and unappealing.
Examples Of Point Of View In Fahrenheit 451
In Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, the plot is created through many different aspects. For example, point of view helps create the intense plot of the story. Point of view is the perspective in which a story is told. Therefore, the point of view is third person limited omniscient, because the narrator is not a character in the story and he is not all knowing which means the narrator and the reader only know what Guy Montag thinks and knows. As Guy Montag learned things throughout the story the reader learned as well. Guy Montag, a fireman with the sole task of burning books, lives in a futuristic United States. Throughout this quarter of the story Guy Montag strived to understand the power of the forbidden books to counter his conflict of himself
More about Examples Of Intro Paragraph For Fahrenheit 451
Related topics.
- Fahrenheit 451
- Ray Bradbury
- English-language films
How to write an EPQ introduction
The first thing to do is to establish the purpose of the essay – in doing this, we want to break down the question that is being answered and examine the components of it. This sounds like it is just an exercise in definitions, and to an extent it is, but it’s more complicated than it may appear because it also requires justifying contentious points in those definitions. For example, if the question is “How important has religion been in shaping modern Britain” we would have to define what a religion is and set parameters for what ‘modern Britain’. Furthermore, we would then have to justify these definitions and explain why certain things had been discounted e.g. an EPQ on this would have to go into detail about Christianity and Islam, for example, but would the Jedi religion be mentioned? How about Hinduism, has it had enough of an impact to merit discussion? Or the ancient religions – if you trace causes and effects back far enough they have definitely left their mark, but is there space to craft them in to a 5000 word answer?Once the question has been thoroughly unpacked, we move on to the second aspect of the introduction, which is to signpost the argument to come. There are two facets to this: firstly, the structure of the essay should be laid out to guide the reader through what is to come and provide an overview. Then, you should also discuss the scope of the essay, explaining why certain points or views are omitted or given only a brief mention – these are topics that cover a lot of ground and the examiners appreciate that you only have a limited amount of words, so it’s better to discuss a narrow range in depth than fleetingly cover everything.
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Introduction
Sam’s Club is one of the divisions of Wal-Mart stores and leading operators of membership warehouse clubs. Sam’s Club runs over 651 clubs across the United States and Puerto Rico and offers various superior services, savings and products to its millions of members across these countries (Brea-Solis et al, 2015). Members of Sam’s Club are offered various products ranging from pharmaceuticals to clothing, groceries and auto supplies. Members are also offered services including car loans, discount credit, travel club, internet, long distance services and mail-order pharmacy. Sam’s Club also extends the sale of its products to restaurants, offices, daycare centers and to individuals (Courtemanche and Carden, 2014).

Sam’s Club was founded by Sam Walton on April 7, 1983 in the Midwest City of Oklahoma in the United States of America (Ghazzawi et al, 2014). Between 1987 and 1993, Sam’s Club made a series of expansions including the purchase of West Monroe, Louisiana-based SuperSaver Wholesale Warehouse Club, an expansion in Delran, New Jersey and the purchase of PACE Membership Warehouse which was converted later into Sam’s Club. Currently, Sam’s Club runs over 450 stores and sells to over 41 million customers (Marcilla, 2017).
Business Strategy of Sam’s Club
One of the business strategies adopted by Sam’s Club to gain competitive advantage is the support that the club offers to small businesses to grow and prosper through its business initiatives, research, philanthropy and engagement of stakeholders (Courtemanche and Carden, 2014). This strategy gives Sam’s Club the opportunity to serve over 500,000 small businesses that are mostly microenterprises. In order to recoup what Sam’s Club has invested, the club adopts mark-up on items over wholesale (Brea-Solis et al, 2015). The club uses this strategy to gain profit and also retain its customers by establishing a ratio between the cost of goods and services produced against its selling price. This strategy enables Sam’s Club to include the total cost of producing goods and services in order to cover all expenses made in doing business and also make profits. Sam’s Club uses this strategy so that a fair price on the production of goods and services can easily be found by its customers.
Development of Sam’s Club
A method of developing Sam’s Club is through a critical analysis of the club using the SWOT analysis. The SWOT analysis will allow Sam’s Club to determine the strength of the services and products of the club, and the weakness of the services and products of the club. These will include high prices or faulty design, the opportunity for the club and the potential threat that the club faces including poor economy which can affect the sale of goods and services of the club (Marcilla, 2017). A comprehensive analysis of SWOT of Sam’s Club is essential in that it will allow the club to identify all internal and external issues of the products and services that have the capacity of increasing the market share of the club or harmful to the operations of the club (Ghazzawi et al, 2014). By default, the club will be able to identify all problems affecting the club and offer solutions to them.
- Brea ‐ Solís, H., Casadesus ‐ Masanell, R., & Grifell ‐ Tatjé, E. (2015). Business model evaluation: quantifying Walmart’s sources of advantage. Strategic Entrepreneurship Journal , 9 (1), 12-33.
- Courtemanche, C., & Carden, A. (2014). Competing with Costco and Sam’s Club: Warehouse club entry and grocery prices. Southern Economic Journal , 80 (3), 565-585.
- Ghazzawi, I. A., Palladini, M., & Martinelli-Lee, T. (2014). The Wal-Mart stores, Inc.: An American dream that touched the world. Journal of the International Academy for Case Studies , 20 (1), 9.
- Marcilla, L. B. (2017). Business analysis for Wal-Mart, a grocery retail chain, and improvement proposals.
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Essay Service Examples Life Teamwork
Essay on Teamwork in Healthcare
- Topics: Caring Teamwork
- Words: 1767
- This essay sample was donated by a student to help the academic community. Papers provided by EduBirdie writers usually outdo students' samples.
Introduction
In a clinical setting, teamwork and compassion are paramount to ensure patient safety and quality of care are adequate. It is important that healthcare professionals (HCPs) work in teams and practice self-compassion to reduce compassion fatigue and burnout. Self-compassion means that HCPs will have better mental and physical health so that when they are caring for patients they can give them their full attention and provide the best care possible. If they are at risk of burnout, it becomes very difficult to care for others to the standard of care that the NHS strives to provide. The COVID-19 pandemic has increased the level of strain on the NHS and its staff; this increases the significance of compassionate care for patients and staff, as well as successful teamwork to decrease the strain and maximize resources. Medical students have also had to practice compassion and teamwork in regard to helping the community, and in the case of final-year students, stepping up to start work prematurely. Students that are not in their final year have also had the responsibility of working collaboratively, whilst remotely, for example in group work. Self-compassion is also very relevant here with managing a large workload and adapting to online learning.
One definition of compassion is Providing care that is respectful of, and responsive to, individual patient preferences, needs, and values, and ensuring that patient values guide all clinical decisions CITATION Wil19 l 2057 (Williamson, 2019). Someone`s time in the hospital is very likely to be when they are at their most vulnerable, so compassion is required to understand the decisions that they make about their care and to listen and speak to them. Listening to a patient and being respectful of their wishes builds trust with them and will make their time in a healthcare setting more bearable. HCPs should always strive to show compassion towards their patients, however, burnout can often cause this compassion to decline. A cross-sectional study was conducted to assess how empathy and self-compassion relate to professional quality of life. 280 registered nurses from public hospitals in Portugal were surveyed; empathy, professional quality of life, and self-compassion were recorded via self-report measures. The study concluded that high levels of effective empathy may be a risk factor for compassion fatigue, while self-compassion may be protective of empathy (Duarte, Pinto-Gouveia, and Cruz, 2016). With the stress of lack of resources, understaffing, and heavy workload, HCPs are at a high risk of compassion fatigue, which is why it is important that self-compassion is regularly practiced in the healthcare sector. This links to my experience working at a nursing home. Often HCPs were extremely fatigued, as they would work very long hours for consecutive days, and this inevitably had an impact on their ability to care for their patients. Therefore, compassion fatigue can have a real impact on nurses’ enthusiasm to help those in need, subsequently compromising the standard of care that is given.
Compassion fatigue has become more prevalent due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Another study evaluated stress levels in 102 HCPs and their levels of compassion fatigue, vicarious trauma, burnout, and hopelessness in the first two months of the COVID-19 lockdown. The results showed a clear increase in compassion fatigue during the pandemic; some of the highest levels of hopelessness and work stress were obtained (Franza, et al., 2020). This shows that the impact COVID-19 had on healthcare staff and patients was not a positive one, as it caused empathy and compassion to deplete, which also would have decreased the quality of care patients received.
Teamwork can be defined as a process that describes interactions among team members who combine collective resources to resolve task demands (Schmutz, et al., 2019). Meanwhile, a team can be defined as a group of individuals, all working together for a common purpose (Juneja, 2021). Teamwork plays a vital role in maintaining patient safety; teams of HCPs need to be able to communicate openly and transparently while being situationally aware (Keats, 2019). A healthcare team is likely to include a range of professionals including doctors, nurses, medical students, carers, physician assistants, dentists, pharmacists, physiotherapists, mental health specialists, administrative staff, and technicians. Each role is significant in patient care and the patient experience, for example from booking an appointment with administrative staff to being examined and diagnosed by a doctor or nurse and then collecting treatment from a pharmacist (Colorado Patient Navigator Training, 2011).
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Medical students are exposed to teamwork very early on, in the form of group presentations and collaborative work. For example, in year 1, we had the opportunity to create and deliver presentations across a number of modules such as Muscles, Joints, and Movement, Professional and Academic Skills, and Community-Based Medicine. The skills that we have acquired from the nature of this group work will enable us to work more efficiently in teams during the next few years of medical school and as we become foundation doctors. Teamwork is also important when we have to start working on placements. This is because medical students will have to work in a multi-disciplinary team in order to achieve the best outcome for the patients in their care. Whilst in my Year 12 hospital work experience, I learned that in multi-disciplinary team meetings, the patient`s care plan will be discussed between a variety of HCPs, and the final decision about the next step for their care will then be discussed with the patient. This includes the patient in the team so that they have full disclosure about the plan for their treatment, but also allows lots of specialties to come together to provide them with targeted and quality care. This will make sure the care is patient-centered and thus will enhance the doctor-patient relationship, which can be defined as a consensual relationship in which the patient knowingly seeks the physician`s assistance and in which the physician knowingly accepts the person as a patient (Chipidza, Wallwork and Sterna, 2015). Increasing the strength of the doctor-patient relationship will increase patient compliance and cooperation within healthcare teams.
The COVID-19 pandemic has caused healthcare teams to become even stronger, with teams of HCPs having to work longer hours, and step up to work on COVID-19 wards while having a real lack of resources. A study at Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) illustrates that during the pandemic, prioritization was key due to the drastic reduction of resources (Jassar, Perkins, and Sundt, 2020). The staff had to pull together to give the best care to the patients in most need, which will have put their own physical and mental health at risk. Without teamwork, the level of care required to treat so many patients during this time would not have been possible. So many healthcare workers put themselves at risk and had to isolate themselves from their families, in order to look after their patients. This caused a lot of psychological stress and fatigue across teams working in the NHS (Karlsson and Fraenkel, 2020).
Communication in healthcare is a hugely important aspect of achieving efficient teamwork. Having standardized tools and an environment where individuals can raise concerns easily is really critical in providing good communication and a safe environment for staff and patients. For example, medical terminology that is used across healthcare can be efficient in transmitting messages quickly and safely among professionals (Leonard, Graham, and Bonacum, 2004). An effective communicating strategy can also help to keep staff safe as well as patients because it enables problems to be rectified as soon as possible which ultimately reduces the risk for everyone.
In conclusion, compassion and teamwork are essential in the maintenance of patient safety and for the best interests of patients and staff. Burnout is very prevalent in healthcare, and this can be reduced by self-compassion, to reduce compassion fatigue and increase patient safety. In addition, the Covid-19 pandemic has caused burnout to become much more problematic but with efficient teamwork and positive attitudes, staff has been able to be resilient and still provide excellent healthcare, while prioritizing those in most need. The concepts of compassion and teamwork will stay with medical students throughout their time in medical school and throughout their careers as doctors, as they are relevant in almost every aspect of learning to be an HCP and practicing the skills of one. It is important for HCPs to have a balance of compassion towards themselves and their patients in order to maintain a healthy working environment, where all of their actions are in the best interests of their patients.
Works Cited
- Chipidza FE, Wallwork RS, Stern TA. Impact of the Doctor-Patient Relationship. Prim Care Companion CNS Disord. 2015 Oct 22;17(5):10.4088PCC.15f01840. doi: 10.4088PCC.15f01840. PMID: 26835164; PMCID: PMC4732308. [Online] Available at: https:www.ncbi.nlm.nih.govpmcarticlesPMC4732308 [Accessed 17 June 2021]
- Colorado Patient Navigator Training (2011)Â Who is on the healthcare team?, Patientnavigatortraining.org. [Online] Available at: https:www.patientnavigatortraining.orghealthcare_systemmodule31_index.htm [Accessed 17 June 2021].
- Duarte J, Pinto-Gouveia J, Cruz B. Relationships between nurses’ empathy, self-compassion and dimensions of professional quality of life: A cross-sectional study. Int J Nurs Stud. 2016 Aug;60:1-11. doi: 10.1016j.ijnurstu.2016.02.015. Epub 2016 Mar 4. PMID: 27297364. [Online] Available at: https: Pubmed. NCBI.nlm. NIH.gov27297364 [Accessed 31 May 2021]
- Franza F, Basta R, Pellegrino F, Solomita B, Fasano V. The Role of Fatigue of Compassion, Burnout and Hopelessness in Healthcare: Experience in the Time of COVID-19 Outbreak.
- Leonard M, Graham S, Bonacum D. The human factor: the critical importance of effective teamwork and communication in providing safe care. Qual Saf Health Care. 2004 Oct;13 Suppl 1(Suppl 1):i85-90. doi: 10.1136qhc.13.suppl_1.i85. PMID: 15465961; PMCID: PMC1765783. [Online] Available at: https: Pubmed. NCBI.nlm. NIH.gov15465961 [Accessed 21 June 2021]
- Psychiatr Danub. 2020 Sep;32(Suppl 1):10-14. PMID: 32890354. [Online] Available at: https: Pubmed. NCBI.nlm. NIH.gov32890354 [Accessed 31 May 2021]
- Jassar AS, Perkins KE, Sundt TM. Teamwork in the time of coronavirus: An MGH experience. J Card Surg. 2021 May;36(5):1644-1648. doi: 10.1111jocs.15036. Epub 2020 Oct 8. PMID: 33032369; PMCID: PMC7675614. [Online] Available at: https:www.ncbi.nlm.nih.govpmcarticlesPMC7675614 [Accessed 17 June 2021]
- Juneja, P. (2021)Â Understanding Team – What is a Team ?, Managementstudyguide.com. [Online] Available at: https:www.managementstudyguide.comunderstanding-team.htm [Accessed 15 June 2021].
- Karlsson U, Fraenkel C. Covid-19: risks to healthcare workers and their families BMJ 2020; 371:m3944. doi: 10.1136bmj.m3944 [Online] Available at https:www.bmj.comcontent371bmj.m3944 [Accessed 17 June 2021]
- Keats JP. Leadership and Teamwork: Essential Roles in Patient Safety. Obstet Gynecol Clin North Am. 2019 Jun;46(2):293-303. doi: 10.1016j.ogc.2019.01.008. PMID: 31056131. [Online] Available at: https: Pubmed. NCBI.nlm. NIH.gov31056131 [Accessed 16 June 2021]
- Schmutz JB, Meier LL, Manser T. How effective is teamwork really? The relationship between teamwork and performance in healthcare teams: a systematic review and meta-analysis. BMJ Open. 2019;9(9):e028280. Published 2019 Sep 12. doi:10.1136bmjopen-2018-028280 [Online] Available at https:www.ncbi.nlm.nih.govpmcarticlesPMC6747874 [Accessed 11 June 2021]
- BIBLIOGRAPHY l 2057 Williamson, A., 2019. Compassion in care Why it`s still the most important skill. [Online] Available at: https:www.bankpartners.co.uknews201902compassion-in-care-why-it-s-still-the-most-important-skill [Accessed 31 May 2021].
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It’s the roadmap to your essay, it’s the forecast for your argument, it’s...your introduction paragraph, and writing one can feel pretty intimidating. The introduction paragraph is a part of just about every kind of academic writing , from persuasive essays to research papers. But that doesn’t mean writing one is easy!
If trying to write an intro paragraph makes you feel like a Muggle trying to do magic, trust us: you aren’t alone. But there are some tips and tricks that can make the process easier—and that’s where we come in.
In this article, we’re going to explain how to write a captivating intro paragraph by covering the following info:
- A discussion of what an introduction paragraph is and its purpose in an essay
- An overview of the most effective introduction paragraph format, with explanations of the three main parts of an intro paragraph
- An analysis of real intro paragraph examples, with a discussion of what works and what doesn’t
- A list of four top tips on how to write an introduction paragraph
Are you ready? Let’s begin!

What Is an Introduction Paragraph?
An introduction paragraph is the first paragraph of an essay , paper, or other type of academic writing. Argumentative essays , book reports, research papers, and even personal essays are common types of writing that require an introduction paragraph. Whether you’re writing a research paper for a science course or an argumentative essay for English class , you’re going to have to write an intro paragraph.
So what’s the purpose of an intro paragraph? As a reader’s first impression of your essay, the intro paragraph should introduce the topic of your paper.
Your introduction will also state any claims, questions, or issues that your paper will focus on. This is commonly known as your paper’s thesis . This condenses the overall point of your paper into one or two short sentences that your reader can come back and reference later.
But intro paragraphs need to do a bit more than just introduce your topic. An intro paragraph is also supposed to grab your reader’s attention. The intro paragraph is your chance to provide just enough info and intrigue to make your reader say, “Hey, this topic sounds interesting. I think I’ll keep reading this essay!” That can help your essay stand out from the crowd.
In most cases, an intro paragraph will be relatively short. A good intro will be clear, brief, purposeful, and focused. While there are some exceptions to this rule, it’s common for intro paragraphs to consist of three to five sentences .
Effectively introducing your essay’s topic, purpose, and getting your reader invested in your essay sounds like a lot to ask from one little paragraph, huh? In the next section, we’ll demystify the intro paragraph format by breaking it down into its core parts . When you learn how to approach each part of an intro, writing one won’t seem so scary!

Once you figure out the three parts of an intro paragraph, writing one will be a piece of cake!
The 3 Main Parts of an Intro Paragraph
In general, an intro paragraph is going to have three main parts: a hook, context, and a thesis statement . Each of these pieces of the intro plays a key role in acquainting the reader with the topic and purpose of your essay.
Below, we’ll explain how to start an introduction paragraph by writing an effective hook, providing context, and crafting a thesis statement. When you put these elements together, you’ll have an intro paragraph that does a great job of making a great first impression on your audience!
Intro Paragraph Part 1: The Hook
When it comes to how to start an introduction paragraph, o ne of the most common approaches is to start with something called a hook.
What does hook mean here, though? Think of it this way: it’s like when you start a new Netflix series: you look up a few hours (and a few episodes) later and you say, “Whoa. I guess I must be hooked on this show!”
That’s how the hook is supposed to work in an intro paragrap h: it should get your reader interested enough that they don’t want to press the proverbial “pause” button while they’re reading it . In other words, a hook is designed to grab your reader’s attention and keep them reading your essay!
This means that the hook comes first in the intro paragraph format—it’ll be the opening sentence of your intro.
It’s important to realize that there are many different ways to write a good hook. But generally speaking, hooks must include these two things: what your topic is, and the angle you’re taking on that topic in your essay.
One approach to writing a hook that works is starting with a general, but interesting, statement on your topic. In this type of hook, you’re trying to provide a broad introduction to your topic and your angle on the topic in an engaging way .
For example, if you’re writing an essay about the role of the government in the American healthcare system, your hook might look something like this:
There's a growing movement to require that the federal government provide affordable, effective healthcare for all Americans.
This hook introduces the essay topic in a broad way (government and healthcare) by presenting a general statement on the topic. But the assumption presented in the hook can also be seen as controversial, which gets readers interested in learning more about what the writer—and the essay—has to say.
In other words, the statement above fulfills the goals of a good hook: it’s intriguing and provides a general introduction to the essay topic.
Intro Paragraph Part 2: Context
Once you’ve provided an attention-grabbing hook, you’ll want to give more context about your essay topic. Context refers to additional details that reveal the specific focus of your paper. So, whereas the hook provides a general introduction to your topic, context starts helping readers understand what exactly you’re going to be writing about
You can include anywhere from one to several sentences of context in your intro, depending on your teacher’s expectations, the length of your paper, and complexity of your topic. In these context-providing sentences, you want to begin narrowing the focus of your intro. You can do this by describing a specific issue or question about your topic that you’ll address in your essay. It also helps readers start to understand why the topic you’re writing about matters and why they should read about it.
So, what counts as context for an intro paragraph? Context can be any important details or descriptions that provide background on existing perspectives, common cultural attitudes, or a specific situation or controversy relating to your essay topic. The context you include should acquaint your reader with the issues, questions, or events that motivated you to write an essay on your topic...and that your reader should know in order to understand your thesis.
For instance, if you’re writing an essay analyzing the consequences of sexism in Hollywood, the context you include after your hook might make reference to the #metoo and #timesup movements that have generated public support for victims of sexual harassment.
The key takeaway here is that context establishes why you’re addressing your topic and what makes it important. It also sets you up for success on the final piece of an intro paragraph: the thesis statement.
Elle Woods' statement offers a specific point of view on the topic of murder...which means it could serve as a pretty decent thesis statement!
Intro Paragraph Part 3: The Thesis
The final key part of how to write an intro paragraph is the thesis statement. The thesis statement is the backbone of your introduction: it conveys your argument or point of view on your topic in a clear, concise, and compelling way . The thesis is usually the last sentence of your intro paragraph.
Whether it’s making a claim, outlining key points, or stating a hypothesis, your thesis statement will tell your reader exactly what idea(s) are going to be addressed in your essay. A good thesis statement will be clear, straightforward, and highlight the overall point you’re trying to make.
Some instructors also ask students to include an essay map as part of their thesis. An essay map is a section that outlines the major topics a paper will address. So for instance, say you’re writing a paper that argues for the importance of public transport in rural communities. Your thesis and essay map might look like this:
Having public transport in rural communities helps people improve their economic situation by giving them reliable transportation to their job, reducing the amount of money they spend on gas, and providing new and unionized work .
The underlined section is the essay map because it touches on the three big things the writer will talk about later. It literally maps out the rest of the essay!
So let’s review: Your thesis takes the idea you’ve introduced in your hook and context and wraps it up. Think of it like a television episode: the hook sets the scene by presenting a general statement and/or interesting idea that sucks you in. The context advances the plot by describing the topic in more detail and helping readers understand why the topic is important. And finally, the thesis statement provides the climax by telling the reader what you have to say about the topic.
The thesis statement is the most important part of the intro. Without it, your reader won’t know what the purpose of your essay is! And for a piece of writing to be effective, it needs to have a clear purpose. Your thesis statement conveys that purpose , so it’s important to put careful thought into writing a clear and compelling thesis statement.

How To Write an Introduction Paragraph: Example and Analysis
Now that we’ve provided an intro paragraph outline and have explained the three key parts of an intro paragraph, let’s take a look at an intro paragraph in action.
To show you how an intro paragraph works, we’ve included a sample introduction paragraph below, followed by an analysis of its strengths and weaknesses.
Example of Introduction Paragraph
While college students in the U.S. are struggling with how to pay for college, there is another surprising demographic that’s affected by the pressure to pay for college: families and parents. In the face of tuition price tags that total more than $100,000 (as a low estimate), families must make difficult decisions about how to save for their children’s college education. Charting a feasible path to saving for college is further complicated by the FAFSA’s estimates for an “Expected Family Contribution”—an amount of money that is rarely feasible for most American families. Due to these challenging financial circumstances and cultural pressure to give one’s children the best possible chance of success in adulthood, many families are going into serious debt to pay for their children’s college education. The U.S. government should move toward bearing more of the financial burden of college education.
Example of Introduction Paragraph: Analysis
Before we dive into analyzing the strengths and weaknesses of this example intro paragraph, let’s establish the essay topic. The sample intro indicates that t he essay topic will focus on one specific issue: who should cover the cost of college education in the U.S., and why. Both the hook and the context help us identify the topic, while the thesis in the last sentence tells us why this topic matters to the writer—they think the U.S. Government needs to help finance college education. This is also the writer’s argument, which they’ll cover in the body of their essay.
Now that we’ve identified the essay topic presented in the sample intro, let’s dig into some analysis. To pin down its strengths and weaknesses, we’re going to use the following three questions to guide our example of introduction paragraph analysis:
- Does this intro provide an attention-grabbing opening sentence that conveys the essay topic?
- Does this intro provide relevant, engaging context about the essay topic?
- Does this intro provide a thesis statement that establishes the writer’s point of view on the topic and what specific aspects of the issue the essay will address?
Now, let’s use the questions above to analyze the strengths and weaknesses of this sample intro paragraph.
Does the Intro Have a Good Hook?
First, the intro starts out with an attention-grabbing hook . The writer starts by presenting an assumption (that the U.S. federal government bears most of the financial burden of college education), which makes the topic relatable to a wide audience of readers. Also note that the hook relates to the general topic of the essay, which is the high cost of college education.
The hook then takes a surprising turn by presenting a counterclaim : that American families, rather than students, feel the true burden of paying for college. Some readers will have a strong emotional reaction to this provocative counterclaim, which will make them want to keep reading! As such, this intro provides an effective opening sentence that conveys the essay topic.
Does the Intro Give Context?
T he second, third, and fourth sentences of the intro provide contextual details that reveal the specific focus of the writer’s paper . Remember: the context helps readers start to zoom in on what the paper will focus on, and what aspect of the general topic (college costs) will be discussed later on.
The context in this intro reveals the intent and direction of the paper by explaining why the issue of families financing college is important. In other words, the context helps readers understand why this issue matters , and what aspects of this issue will be addressed in the paper.
To provide effective context, the writer refers to issues (the exorbitant cost of college and high levels of family debt) that have received a lot of recent scholarly and media attention. These sentences of context also elaborate on the interesting perspective included in the hook: that American families are most affected by college costs.
Does the Intro Have a Thesis?
Finally, this intro provides a thesis statement that conveys the writer’s point of view on the issue of financing college education. This writer believes that the U.S. government should do more to pay for students’ college educations.
However, the thesis statement doesn’t give us any details about why the writer has made this claim or why this will help American families . There isn’t an essay map that helps readers understand what points the writer will make in the essay.
To revise this thesis statement so that it establishes the specific aspects of the topic that the essay will address, the writer could add the following to the beginning of the thesis statement:
The U.S. government should take on more of the financial burden of college education because other countries have shown this can improve education rates while reducing levels of familial poverty.
Check out the new section in bold. Not only does it clarify that the writer is talking about the pressure put on families, it touches on the big topics the writer will address in the paper: improving education rates and reduction of poverty. So not only do we have a clearer argumentative statement in this thesis, we also have an essay map!
So, let’s recap our analysis. This sample intro paragraph does an effective job of providing an engaging hook and relatable, interesting context, but the thesis statement needs some work ! As you write your own intro paragraphs, you might consider using the questions above to evaluate and revise your work. Doing this will help ensure you’ve covered all of your bases and written an intro that your readers will find interesting!

4 Tips for How To Write an Introduction Paragraph
Now that we’ve gone over an example of introduction paragraph analysis, let’s talk about how to write an introduction paragraph of your own. Keep reading for four tips for writing a successful intro paragraph for any essay.
Tip 1: Analyze Your Essay Prompt
If you’re having trouble with how to start an introduction paragraph, analyze your essay prompt! Most teachers give you some kind of assignment sheet, formal instructions, or prompt to set the expectations for an essay they’ve assigned, right? Those instructions can help guide you as you write your intro paragraph!
Because they’ll be reading and responding to your essay, you want to make sure you meet your teacher’s expectations for an intro paragraph . For instance, if they’ve provided specific instructions about how long the intro should be or where the thesis statement should be located, be sure to follow them!
The type of paper you’re writing can give you clues as to how to approach your intro as well. If you’re writing a research paper, your professor might expect you to provide a research question or state a hypothesis in your intro. If you’re writing an argumentative essay, you’ll need to make sure your intro overviews the context surrounding your argument and your thesis statement includes a clear, defensible claim.
Using the parameters set out by your instructor and assignment sheet can put some easy-to-follow boundaries in place for things like your intro’s length, structure, and content. Following these guidelines can free you up to focus on other aspects of your intro... like coming up with an exciting hook and conveying your point of view on your topic!
Tip 2: Narrow Your Topic
You can’t write an intro paragraph without first identifying your topic. To make your intro as effective as possible, you need to define the parameters of your topic clearly—and you need to be specific.
For example, let’s say you want to write about college football. “NCAA football” is too broad of a topic for a paper. There is a lot to talk about in terms of college football! It would be tough to write an intro paragraph that’s focused, purposeful, and engaging on this topic. In fact, if you did try to address this whole topic, you’d probably end up writing a book!
Instead, you should narrow broad topics to identify a specific question, claim, or issue pertaining to some aspect of NCAA football for your intro to be effective. So, for instance, you could frame your topic as, “How can college professors better support NCAA football players in academics?” This focused topic pertaining to NCAA football would give you a more manageable angle to discuss in your paper.
So before you think about writing your intro, ask yourself: Is my essay topic specific, focused, and logical? Does it convey an issue or question that I can explore over the course of several pages? Once you’ve established a good topic, you’ll have the foundation you need to write an effective intro paragraph .

Once you've figured out your topic, it's time to hit the books!
Tip 3: Do Your Research
This tip is tightly intertwined with the one above, and it’s crucial to writing a good intro: do your research! And, guess what? This tip applies to all papers—even ones that aren’t technically research papers.
Here’s why you need to do some research: getting the lay of the land on what others have said about your topic—whether that’s scholars and researchers or the mass media— will help you narrow your topic, write an engaging hook, and provide relatable context.
You don't want to sit down to write your intro without a solid understanding of the different perspectives on your topic. Whether those are the perspectives of experts or the general public, these points of view will help you write your intro in a way that is intriguing and compelling for your audience of readers.
Tip 4: Write Multiple Drafts
Some say to write your intro first; others say write it last. The truth is, there isn’t a right or wrong time to write your intro—but you do need to have enough time to write multiple drafts .
Oftentimes, your professor will ask you to write multiple drafts of your paper, which gives you a built-in way to make sure you revise your intro. Another approach you could take is to write out a rough draft of your intro before you begin writing your essay, then revise it multiple times as you draft out your paper.
Here’s why this approach can work: as you write your paper, you’ll probably come up with new insights on your topic that you didn’t have right from the start. You can use these “light bulb” moments to reevaluate your intro and make revisions that keep it in line with your developing essay draft.
Once you’ve written your entire essay, consider going back and revising your intro again . You can ask yourself these questions as you evaluate your intro:
- Is my hook still relevant to the way I’ve approached the topic in my essay?
- Do I provide enough appropriate context to introduce my essay?
- Now that my essay is written, does my thesis statement still accurately reflect the point of view that I present in my essay?
Using these questions as a guide and putting your intro through multiple revisions will help ensure that you’ve written the best intro for the final draft of your essay. Also, revising your writing is always a good thing to do—and this applies to your intro, too!

What's Next?
Your college essays also need great intro paragraphs. Here’s a guide that focuses on how to write the perfect intro for your admissions essays.
Of course, the intro is just one part of your college essay . This article will teach you how to write a college essay that makes admissions counselors sit up and take notice.
Are you trying to write an analytical essay? Our step-by-step guide can help you knock it out of the park.
Need more help with this topic? Check out Tutorbase!
Our vetted tutor database includes a range of experienced educators who can help you polish an essay for English or explain how derivatives work for Calculus. You can use dozens of filters and search criteria to find the perfect person for your needs.

Ashley Sufflé Robinson has a Ph.D. in 19th Century English Literature. As a content writer for PrepScholar, Ashley is passionate about giving college-bound students the in-depth information they need to get into the school of their dreams.
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Top 10 Argumentative Essay Introduction Examples
When writing an argumentative essay , the introduction might be the most important part of your paper. The introduction to your argumentative essay must grab your readers’ attention and draw them to the topic. There are many points that you need to include in your introduction when writing an argumentative essay.
An attention-getter can set up what will follow throughout the rest of the paper, make the reader see what you are trying to prove, and provide an example to show why your topic is important.
Creating a sense of importance or urgency brings the reader into the essay because they feel they should know more about it. This will allow readers to become engaged in your topic and stay interested throughout the rest of your argumentative essay.
Here are a few examples of good argumentative essay introductions.

Argumentative essay introduction example 1
Gambling, or gambling addiction, is a complex subject to understand. Some people often win, which may lead others to believe that they are lucky rather than skilled. Many people gamble to escape reality for a bit and have fun. Others gamble for the thrill of it because their lives are boring. It is difficult to determine when a person’s behavior turns from a hobby into a problem. It is even more challenging to decide if that something is indeed an addiction. Although gambling may be harmful in specific ways, I believe that the negatives do not outweigh the positives.
Argumentative essay introduction example 2
In today’s society, there are many different opinions about what is right and wrong. From drinking alcohol to smoking, each person has a different set of standards. Where people differ, the most is about morality. Morality is the standard of conduct in society, being considered right or wrong by most people. There are different schools of thought on morality, including classical, evolutionary ethics, and social contract theory. This paper will discuss how these three theories define moral law.
Argumentative essay introduction example 3
The purpose of this paper is to examine the role that the media has played in stoking debates about ethnic diversity, multiculturalism, and national identity. I will discuss ways in which print journalism promoted political agendas by using certain news stories as examples. For example, The Globe & Mail’s coverage of ‘ethnic voters’ during the 1993 federal election attempted to explain why the Canadian electorate was leaning toward a change in government. The paper also illustrated the consequences of public opinion on legislation throughout Canada’s history, such as passing anti-Chinese legislation in B.C., and more recently, Quebec’s Bill 101.
Argumentative essay introduction example 4
People often consider athletes to be role models for society. They say that athletes are good, clean-cut people who live out the American dream. People think of them as successful individuals who have earned their money through hard work and determination. They usually leave out that many famous athletes today are just in it for the money and don’t care who they hurt in the process. They will do whatever it takes to make more money and become even more famous, even if it means ruining their reputation and hurting people. Many athletes have had problems with steroids, drinking alcohol underage, drugs, etc., yet fans continue to look up to them because of their athletic abilities.
Argumentative essay introduction example 5
Does the United States need a military draft? Many people think so, and there are many examples of why it would be effective. A military draft has several benefits but is not without its disadvantages. People believe that an all-volunteer army is better than conscription for various reasons, but the cons outweigh the pros. The benefits of compulsory military service are that it would increase the number of troops drastically overnight, solve unemployment problems, and ensure loyalty to America rather than other countries. The disadvantages include low-quality individuals in the armed forces, unfairness towards people who cannot enlist because they have certain health problems or are married with children, and the adverse effects of war on those drafted into service.
Argumentative essay introduction example 6
The first several decades of the twentieth century were marked by peace and tranquillity in North America and Europe. This era was known as the ‘American Dream.’ The world’s economy had never been stronger, and all shared this newfound wealth. The economy improved with the automobile industry, the oil business, the steel industry, and radio broadcasting. What led to this era of prosperity that people were experiencing? Were there policies or circumstances that created economic stability worldwide? There were many reasons for this era of peace, but the leading cause was that most economies were based on gold. People bought and sold goods with real money, rather than government-issued paper or funny money.
Argumentative essay introduction example 7
The use of animals in scientific research is a highly controversial issue. Opponents say it is cruel and immoral to use animals for experiments, whereas proponents argue that developing life-saving drugs and treatments is necessary. It is necessary to use animals in scientific experiments for medical research because humans and animals are similar in complex ways. The brain, heart, lungs, blood vessels, and immune systems of different species are so alike that studying the effects of drugs on non-human subjects is highly beneficial to advancing knowledge about how various substances will affect people.
Argumentative essay introduction example 8
Driving while talking on a cell phone can be very dangerous. If you drive while using your cell phone, you become four times more likely to get into an accident. For this reason, many countries and provinces in Canada have banned the use of hand-held cell phones while driving. Using a headset or speakerphone is an alternative to holding the phone, but it does not eliminate the risk. One of the concerns is that talking on a cell phone slows reaction time and causes people to miss visual cues they would otherwise notice.
Argumentative essay introduction example 9
Does the average person really need to drink eight glasses of water a day? This idea has been passed down, but is it based on scientific facts, or is it a myth? Some people say that drinking eight glasses of water a day is an old wives’ tale, whereas others insist that one should drink at least this amount of water every day. The main point is that the body requires a certain amount of daily fluid intake, and it is important to maintain proper hydration levels for overall health. It is not necessary to drink eight glasses of water each day, but one should drink enough to urinate at least four times per day.
Argumentative essay introduction example 10
Is the U.S. directly responsible for spreading democracy across the world? The United States has been involved in various activities which have led to regime changes in other countries, where democratically elected governments replaced leaders. Countries that have received military training from the U.S., such as El Salvador and Colombia, are flourishing democracies. This has led many people to believe that the U.S.’s interest in spreading democracy across the world is genuine. Still, others are skeptical because it benefits America when other countries join NATO or accept free trade deals.
How to Create a Sense of Importance or Urgency in Your Introduction

Here are some tips for creating a sense of importance or urgency in your introduction:
- Watch your tone. If you want to be urgent, use words like “need,” and if you want it to feel important, use words like “should.”
- Use a relevant quote.
- Make an example out of someone in the past or present that agrees with your opinion.
- Take a stand and let readers know right away your opinion with a command like “don’t believe the hype” or “it’s time we do something about it.”
- Emphasize the benefits of having your opinion with words like, “Imagine if everyone was responsible enough to recycle.”
- Link it back to history. Let readers know that what you’re saying is nothing new with phrases like that, it’s “a tale as old as time.”
- Explain how this is happening in the present with phrases like “the effects of” and “we see a rise in.”
- Use persuasive words. Persuasive essay writing uses words that make your readers feel guilty, like “deserve,” and inspire them to change and take action with words like “must.
What Influences an Excellent Argumentative Essay Introduction?

Several factors come into play when it comes to writing a good introduction. The most important points to consider are:
- Choice of the argumentative essay topic
Picking interesting argumentative essay topics makes it easier to write an interesting introduction. Another set of topics that guarantee good introductions are the controversial argumentative essay topics.
Writing argumentative essays need proper research done. It does not matter if you are writing a basic argumentative essay or an argumentative research paper. You need to do proper research for your introduction to be effective.
You have to choose the audience targeted in your introduction. For instance, use formal language when addressing professors and informal language when speaking with friends. You can also adjust the thought process of your audience by using certain words. Choice of words targeted for middle school students will be different from a postgraduate audience.
Tips for Writing an Effective Argumentative Essay Introduction

Here are some tips you can use when you write an argumentative essay introduction. They include:
Introduce the conflicting ideas with a comparison or analogy.
Give a brief background on the conflicting ideas to show your readers how they came to be. Make a clear and concise statement that sums up both sides of the argument, like “some say X while others say Y.” Make sure it’s something that can be backed up with evidence later on.
End your introduction with a thesis statement that states which side of the argument you’re taking and what type of claim it is, like “I believe we should eliminate homework because doing so will improve students’ test scores.”
Ask readers questions that get them thinking about your idea.
Questions have proven to be an effective way to get readers thinking about what you’re trying to say. You can ask questions that help them relate it back to their lives, like “What would happen if there was no drinking water?” or “What if everyone decided they didn’t want to eat meat anymore?”
Introduce the opposing side.
If you’re going to be arguing against a popular opinion , you’ll need to state what that opinion is briefly. Let readers know how you plan to argue against it with a word like “despite” or “although” that shows you’re aware of the other side.
Describe your audience.
People are more likely to read something if they feel it’s written specifically for them, so mention your audience right away by saying something like “for all students.” You can also mention a specific group of people, like “for all teens.”
Present readers with a thought-provoking quote.
Quotes can be a great way to grab readers’ attention and get them thinking about what you plan to say. You don’t want your quote to sound like something that was copied and pasted from a textbook, so try using one that has creative language or has been taken out of its original context.
Mistakes to Avoid While Writing Introductions for Argumentative Essays

There are many mistakes that writers commonly make while writing introductory paragraphs. These include:
Being too basic.
People are reading your essay to learn more about your argument, so give them what they need with concrete examples. You don’t need to tell readers something they already know if you are not adding any new information or angle.
- Being too wordy.
Writing too much can cause your introduction to be confusing and messy. Readers will stop reading if they feel like their eyes are glazing over, so try not to use five words when one would do the job just as well. If you’re having trouble cutting down on the length of your statements, ask yourself what your main point is and what you’re hoping to accomplish with your introduction.
- Not narrowing down your argument.
Narrowing down your argument is important because it allows readers to focus on the main point of your essay. If you’re having trouble narrowing down your ideas, try listing reasons why one option would be better than the other or what impact it will have if certain things are changed.
- Not strengthening your argument by using evidence.
Your thesis statement should be supported by evidence , so make sure your introductory paragraph flows easily into the body. If you’re struggling with what types of evidence to include, think about what can be seen as common sense, backed up by research or stated by an expert.
- Not using transitional words.
Transitional words help the flow of your writing because they signal an upcoming change in idea or direction. Words like “however,” “for example,” and “despite this” can be used to show readers when the tone of your argument is changing.
- Not using a hook.
A hook draws a reader in by making them curious about what you’re going to say next or how it relates to them, so choosing one that best suits your argument can help improve the effectiveness of your introduction.
Writing a good introduction for an argumentative essay is key to catching your readers’ attention and making them want to learn more. A strong introduction should consist of ideas relevant to your argument, clarify how you plan to form an argument and provide readers with a compelling reason to continue reading. Remember not to include too much information or make mistakes common among new writers, like being wordy or not including evidence.

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Argumentative Essay Examples

Best Argumentative Essay Examples for Your Help
Published on: Jun 29, 2020
Last updated on: Jan 3, 2023

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Argumentative essays are one of the most common types of essay writing. Students are assigned to write such essays very frequently.
Despite being assigned so frequently, students still find it hard to write a good argumentative essay.
There are certain things that one needs to follow to write a good argumentative essay . The first thing is to choose an effective and interesting topic. Use all possible sources to dig out the best topic.
Afterward, the student should choose the model that they would follow to write this type of essay. Follow the steps of the chosen model and start writing the essay.
The models for writing an argumentative essay are the classical model, the Rogerian model, and the Toulmin model.
To make sure that you write a good argumentative essay, read the different types of examples mentioned in this blog.
Good Argumentative Essay Examples
Argumentative essays are an inevitable part of academic life. To write a good argumentative essay, you need to see a few good examples of this type of essay.
To analyze whether the example is good to take help from or not. You need to look for a few things in it.
Make sure it follows one specific model and has an introductory paragraph, organized body paragraphs, and a formal conclusion.
How to Start an Argumentative Essay Example
Learning how to start an argumentative essay example is a tricky thing for beginners. It is quite simple but can be challenging for newbies.
To start an argumentative essay example, you need to write a brief and attractive introduction. It is written to convince the reader and make them understand your point of view.
Add body paragraphs after the introduction to support your thesis statement . Also, use body paragraphs to highlight the strengths and weaknesses of your side of the argument.
Write a formal conclusion for your essay and summarize all the key elements of your essay. Look at the example mentioned below to understand the concept more clearly.
Argumentative Essay Example (PDF)
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Argumentative essays are assigned to university students more often than the students of schools and colleges. It involves arguments over vast and sometimes bold topics as well.
For university students, usually, argumentative essay topics are not provided. They are required to search for the topic themselves and write accordingly.
The following examples will give an idea of how university students write argumentative essays.
Argumentative Essay Example for University (PDF)
Argumentative Essay Sample for University (PDF)
Argumentative Essay Examples for College
For the college level, it is recommended to use simple language and avoid the use of complex words in essays.
Make sure that using simple language and valid evidence, you support your claim well and make it as convincing as possible
If you are a college student and want to write an argumentative essay, read the examples provided below. Focus on the formatting and the vocabulary used.
Argumentative Essay Example for College (PDF)
College Argumentative Essay Sample (PDF)
Argumentative Essay Examples for Middle School
Being a middle school student, you must be wondering how do we write an argumentative essay? And how can you support your argument?
Go through the following examples and hopefully, you will be able to write an effective argumentative essay very easily.
Argumentative Essay Example for Middle School(PDF)
Middle School Argumentative Essay Sample (PDF)
Argumentative Essay Examples for High School
High school students are not very aware of all the skills that are needed to write research papers and essays. Especially, when it comes to argumentative essays, it becomes quite a challenge for high schools to defend their argument
In this scenario, the best option is to look into some good examples. Here we have summed up two best examples of argumentative essays for high school students specifically.
Argumentative Essay Example for High School (PDF)
High School Argumentative Essay Sample (PDF)
Argumentative Essay Examples for O Level
The course outline for O levels is quite tough. O levels students need to have a good command of the English language and amazing writing skills.
If you are an O-level student, the following examples will guide you on how to write an argumentative essay.
Argumentative Essay Example for O Level (PDF)
Argumentative Essay for O Level Students (PDF)
5-Paragraph Argumentative Essay Examples
A 5-paragraph essay is basically a formatting style for essay writing. It has the following five parts:
In the introductory, the writer introduces the topic and provides a glance at the collected data to support the main argument.
The first body paragraph discusses the first and most important point related to the argument. It starts with a topic sentence and has all the factual data to make the argument convincing.
The second body paragraph mentions the second most important element of the argument. A topic sentence is used to start these paragraphs. It gives the idea of the point that will discuss in the following paragraph.
The third paragraph discusses all the miscellaneous points. Also, it uses a transitional sentence at the end to show a relation to the conclusion.
The conclusion of a five-paragraph essay reiterates all the major elements of an argumentative essay. It also restates the thesis statement using a more convincing choice of words.
Look at the example below to see how a well-written five paragraph essay looks like
5 Paragraph Argumentative Essay Example (PDF)
Argumentative Essay Examples for 6th Grade
Students of 6th grade are at a point where they are learning new things every day. Writing an argumentative essay is an interesting activity for them as they like to convince people of their point of view.
Argumentative essays written at such levels are very simple but well convincing. The following example will give you more detail on how a 6th-grade student should write an argumentative essay.
6th Grade Argumentative Essay Example (PDF)
Argumentative Essay Examples for 7th Grade
There is not much difference between a 6th grade and a 7th-grade student. Both of them are enhancing their writing and academic skills.
Here is another example to help you with writing an effective argumentative essay.
7th Grade Argumentative Essay Example (PDF)
Short Argumentative Essay Examples
For an argumentative essay, there is no specific limit for the word count. It only has to convince the readers and pass on the knowledge of the writer to the intended audience.
It can be short or detailed. It would be considered valid as far as it has an argument involved in it.
Following is an example of a short argumentative essay example
Short Argumentative Essay Example (PDF)
Immigration Argumentative Essay Examples
Immigration is a hot topic for a very long time now. People have different opinions regarding this issue.
Where there is more than one opinion, an argumentative essay can be written on that topic. The following are examples of argumentative essays on immigration.
Read them and try to understand how an effective argumentative essay is written on such a topic.
Argumentative Essay Example on Immigration (PDF)
Argumentative Essay Sample on Immigration (PDF)
Writing essays is usually a tiring and time-consuming assignment to do. Students already have a bunch of assignments for other subjects to complete. In this situation, asking for help from professional writers is the best choice.
At CollegeEssay.org , we have an extensive team of highly skilled essay writers. We can help you write the best college essay , including argumentative, descriptive, persuasive essays, etc.
You just need to place an order , and we will take care of your essay from scratch. Get in touch with our customer support service, and we will cater to all your queries and questions in no time.
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Introductions
What this handout is about.
This handout will explain the functions of introductions, offer strategies for creating effective introductions, and provide some examples of less effective introductions to avoid.
The role of introductions
Introductions and conclusions can be the most difficult parts of papers to write. Usually when you sit down to respond to an assignment, you have at least some sense of what you want to say in the body of your paper. You might have chosen a few examples you want to use or have an idea that will help you answer the main question of your assignment; these sections, therefore, may not be as hard to write. And it’s fine to write them first! But in your final draft, these middle parts of the paper can’t just come out of thin air; they need to be introduced and concluded in a way that makes sense to your reader.
Your introduction and conclusion act as bridges that transport your readers from their own lives into the “place” of your analysis. If your readers pick up your paper about education in the autobiography of Frederick Douglass, for example, they need a transition to help them leave behind the world of Chapel Hill, television, e-mail, and The Daily Tar Heel and to help them temporarily enter the world of nineteenth-century American slavery. By providing an introduction that helps your readers make a transition between their own world and the issues you will be writing about, you give your readers the tools they need to get into your topic and care about what you are saying. Similarly, once you’ve hooked your readers with the introduction and offered evidence to prove your thesis, your conclusion can provide a bridge to help your readers make the transition back to their daily lives. (See our handout on conclusions .)
Note that what constitutes a good introduction may vary widely based on the kind of paper you are writing and the academic discipline in which you are writing it. If you are uncertain what kind of introduction is expected, ask your instructor.
Why bother writing a good introduction?
You never get a second chance to make a first impression. The opening paragraph of your paper will provide your readers with their initial impressions of your argument, your writing style, and the overall quality of your work. A vague, disorganized, error-filled, off-the-wall, or boring introduction will probably create a negative impression. On the other hand, a concise, engaging, and well-written introduction will start your readers off thinking highly of you, your analytical skills, your writing, and your paper.
Your introduction is an important road map for the rest of your paper. Your introduction conveys a lot of information to your readers. You can let them know what your topic is, why it is important, and how you plan to proceed with your discussion. In many academic disciplines, your introduction should contain a thesis that will assert your main argument. Your introduction should also give the reader a sense of the kinds of information you will use to make that argument and the general organization of the paragraphs and pages that will follow. After reading your introduction, your readers should not have any major surprises in store when they read the main body of your paper.
Ideally, your introduction will make your readers want to read your paper. The introduction should capture your readers’ interest, making them want to read the rest of your paper. Opening with a compelling story, an interesting question, or a vivid example can get your readers to see why your topic matters and serve as an invitation for them to join you for an engaging intellectual conversation (remember, though, that these strategies may not be suitable for all papers and disciplines).
Strategies for writing an effective introduction
Start by thinking about the question (or questions) you are trying to answer. Your entire essay will be a response to this question, and your introduction is the first step toward that end. Your direct answer to the assigned question will be your thesis, and your thesis will likely be included in your introduction, so it is a good idea to use the question as a jumping off point. Imagine that you are assigned the following question:
Drawing on the Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass , discuss the relationship between education and slavery in 19th-century America. Consider the following: How did white control of education reinforce slavery? How did Douglass and other enslaved African Americans view education while they endured slavery? And what role did education play in the acquisition of freedom? Most importantly, consider the degree to which education was or was not a major force for social change with regard to slavery.
You will probably refer back to your assignment extensively as you prepare your complete essay, and the prompt itself can also give you some clues about how to approach the introduction. Notice that it starts with a broad statement and then narrows to focus on specific questions from the book. One strategy might be to use a similar model in your own introduction—start off with a big picture sentence or two and then focus in on the details of your argument about Douglass. Of course, a different approach could also be very successful, but looking at the way the professor set up the question can sometimes give you some ideas for how you might answer it. (See our handout on understanding assignments for additional information on the hidden clues in assignments.)
Decide how general or broad your opening should be. Keep in mind that even a “big picture” opening needs to be clearly related to your topic; an opening sentence that said “Human beings, more than any other creatures on earth, are capable of learning” would be too broad for our sample assignment about slavery and education. If you have ever used Google Maps or similar programs, that experience can provide a helpful way of thinking about how broad your opening should be. Imagine that you’re researching Chapel Hill. If what you want to find out is whether Chapel Hill is at roughly the same latitude as Rome, it might make sense to hit that little “minus” sign on the online map until it has zoomed all the way out and you can see the whole globe. If you’re trying to figure out how to get from Chapel Hill to Wrightsville Beach, it might make more sense to zoom in to the level where you can see most of North Carolina (but not the rest of the world, or even the rest of the United States). And if you are looking for the intersection of Ridge Road and Manning Drive so that you can find the Writing Center’s main office, you may need to zoom all the way in. The question you are asking determines how “broad” your view should be. In the sample assignment above, the questions are probably at the “state” or “city” level of generality. When writing, you need to place your ideas in context—but that context doesn’t generally have to be as big as the whole galaxy!
Try writing your introduction last. You may think that you have to write your introduction first, but that isn’t necessarily true, and it isn’t always the most effective way to craft a good introduction. You may find that you don’t know precisely what you are going to argue at the beginning of the writing process. It is perfectly fine to start out thinking that you want to argue a particular point but wind up arguing something slightly or even dramatically different by the time you’ve written most of the paper. The writing process can be an important way to organize your ideas, think through complicated issues, refine your thoughts, and develop a sophisticated argument. However, an introduction written at the beginning of that discovery process will not necessarily reflect what you wind up with at the end. You will need to revise your paper to make sure that the introduction, all of the evidence, and the conclusion reflect the argument you intend. Sometimes it’s easiest to just write up all of your evidence first and then write the introduction last—that way you can be sure that the introduction will match the body of the paper.
Don’t be afraid to write a tentative introduction first and then change it later. Some people find that they need to write some kind of introduction in order to get the writing process started. That’s fine, but if you are one of those people, be sure to return to your initial introduction later and rewrite if necessary.
Open with something that will draw readers in. Consider these options (remembering that they may not be suitable for all kinds of papers):
- an intriguing example —for example, Douglass writes about a mistress who initially teaches him but then ceases her instruction as she learns more about slavery.
- a provocative quotation that is closely related to your argument —for example, Douglass writes that “education and slavery were incompatible with each other.” (Quotes from famous people, inspirational quotes, etc. may not work well for an academic paper; in this example, the quote is from the author himself.)
- a puzzling scenario —for example, Frederick Douglass says of slaves that “[N]othing has been left undone to cripple their intellects, darken their minds, debase their moral nature, obliterate all traces of their relationship to mankind; and yet how wonderfully they have sustained the mighty load of a most frightful bondage, under which they have been groaning for centuries!” Douglass clearly asserts that slave owners went to great lengths to destroy the mental capacities of slaves, yet his own life story proves that these efforts could be unsuccessful.
- a vivid and perhaps unexpected anecdote —for example, “Learning about slavery in the American history course at Frederick Douglass High School, students studied the work slaves did, the impact of slavery on their families, and the rules that governed their lives. We didn’t discuss education, however, until one student, Mary, raised her hand and asked, ‘But when did they go to school?’ That modern high school students could not conceive of an American childhood devoid of formal education speaks volumes about the centrality of education to American youth today and also suggests the significance of the deprivation of education in past generations.”
- a thought-provoking question —for example, given all of the freedoms that were denied enslaved individuals in the American South, why does Frederick Douglass focus his attentions so squarely on education and literacy?
Pay special attention to your first sentence. Start off on the right foot with your readers by making sure that the first sentence actually says something useful and that it does so in an interesting and polished way.
How to evaluate your introduction draft
Ask a friend to read your introduction and then tell you what he or she expects the paper will discuss, what kinds of evidence the paper will use, and what the tone of the paper will be. If your friend is able to predict the rest of your paper accurately, you probably have a good introduction.
Five kinds of less effective introductions
1. The placeholder introduction. When you don’t have much to say on a given topic, it is easy to create this kind of introduction. Essentially, this kind of weaker introduction contains several sentences that are vague and don’t really say much. They exist just to take up the “introduction space” in your paper. If you had something more effective to say, you would probably say it, but in the meantime this paragraph is just a place holder.
Example: Slavery was one of the greatest tragedies in American history. There were many different aspects of slavery. Each created different kinds of problems for enslaved people.
2. The restated question introduction. Restating the question can sometimes be an effective strategy, but it can be easy to stop at JUST restating the question instead of offering a more specific, interesting introduction to your paper. The professor or teaching assistant wrote your question and will be reading many essays in response to it—he or she does not need to read a whole paragraph that simply restates the question.
Example: The Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass discusses the relationship between education and slavery in 19th century America, showing how white control of education reinforced slavery and how Douglass and other enslaved African Americans viewed education while they endured. Moreover, the book discusses the role that education played in the acquisition of freedom. Education was a major force for social change with regard to slavery.
3. The Webster’s Dictionary introduction. This introduction begins by giving the dictionary definition of one or more of the words in the assigned question. Anyone can look a word up in the dictionary and copy down what Webster says. If you want to open with a discussion of an important term, it may be far more interesting for you (and your reader) if you develop your own definition of the term in the specific context of your class and assignment. You may also be able to use a definition from one of the sources you’ve been reading for class. Also recognize that the dictionary is also not a particularly authoritative work—it doesn’t take into account the context of your course and doesn’t offer particularly detailed information. If you feel that you must seek out an authority, try to find one that is very relevant and specific. Perhaps a quotation from a source reading might prove better? Dictionary introductions are also ineffective simply because they are so overused. Instructors may see a great many papers that begin in this way, greatly decreasing the dramatic impact that any one of those papers will have.
Example: Webster’s dictionary defines slavery as “the state of being a slave,” as “the practice of owning slaves,” and as “a condition of hard work and subjection.”
4. The “dawn of man” introduction. This kind of introduction generally makes broad, sweeping statements about the relevance of this topic since the beginning of time, throughout the world, etc. It is usually very general (similar to the placeholder introduction) and fails to connect to the thesis. It may employ cliches—the phrases “the dawn of man” and “throughout human history” are examples, and it’s hard to imagine a time when starting with one of these would work. Instructors often find them extremely annoying.
Example: Since the dawn of man, slavery has been a problem in human history.
5. The book report introduction. This introduction is what you had to do for your elementary school book reports. It gives the name and author of the book you are writing about, tells what the book is about, and offers other basic facts about the book. You might resort to this sort of introduction when you are trying to fill space because it’s a familiar, comfortable format. It is ineffective because it offers details that your reader probably already knows and that are irrelevant to the thesis.
Example: Frederick Douglass wrote his autobiography, Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave , in the 1840s. It was published in 1986 by Penguin Books. In it, he tells the story of his life.
And now for the conclusion…
Writing an effective introduction can be tough. Try playing around with several different options and choose the one that ends up sounding best to you!
Just as your introduction helps readers make the transition to your topic, your conclusion needs to help them return to their daily lives–but with a lasting sense of how what they have just read is useful or meaningful. Check out our handout on conclusions for tips on ending your paper as effectively as you began it!
Works consulted
We consulted these works while writing this handout. This is not a comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own research to find additional publications. Please do not use this list as a model for the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For guidance on formatting citations, please see the UNC Libraries citation tutorial . We revise these tips periodically and welcome feedback.
Douglass, Frederick. 1995. Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave, Written by Himself . New York: Dover.

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How to write an introduction to an essay
Which of these sayings do you agree with?
- First impressions count.
- Start as you mean to go on.
- Well begun is half done.
If you agree with any of them, you are already on your way to thinking about the importance of introductions!
Introduction on how to write an introduction
An introduction is the opening paragraph of an essay. It should briefly introduce the topic and outline your key ideas to answer the question. These ideas are then explored in more detail in the rest of the essay and this in turn leads to your conclusion.
An introduction will give the reader their first impression of your ideas . So it’s useful to spend time thinking and planning what to include.
A video on how to hook your reader in your introduction
Focusing on the question.
Most essay titles are either a question (how, why, in what way..?) or include a command word telling you what to do. For example, you may be asked to ‘explore’ or ‘describe’ or ‘analyse’ a piece of writing. In the introduction you need to outline your answer to the essay question or topic.
Introductions should be:
- Short - no longer than a paragraph
- Focused on the essay question or topic
Introduce the topic straightaway in your first sentence
How you start your essay will depend on the question or title. If the question is:
Why is Piggy an important character in the novel, Lord of the Flies ?
You could answer the question directly in a single sentence:
In Lord of the Flies , Golding uses the character of Piggy to show the reader what happens when society breaks down leading to violence against others and, in Piggy’s case, death.
If the question is:
In what way does Ralph represent moral authority in Lord of the Flies ?
You could explain or explore the key words from the essay question in your first sentence:
Moral authority means being trusted to make decisions that are right and good and in Lord of the Flies , Ralph starts by being a good leader.
The next sentences in your introduction will build on this first sentence.
Identify the main topic
Read the following essay questions and identify the main topic.
- How important are the witches in the play Macbeth ?
- Explore the theme of injustice in the novel, Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry .
- In what ways is Coram Boy a novel about outsiders?
- The witches
- The theme of injustice
Introduce your main points
An introduction should give the reader a glimpse into your thoughts on the essay topic or question. You could briefly:
- introduce your main idea or key point
- summarise your overall argument
give some brief background information on the text you are exploring and/or the author’s possible purpose in writing the text
Why is Ralph an important character in the novel Lord of the Flies ?
You could introduce the essay by saying:
In The Lord of the Flies by William Golding, Ralph is an important character because he represents order and civilisation. In the novel a group of boys become stranded on a desert island and, although Ralph tries to keep civility alive amongst the boys, they increasingly become violent and dangerous. Golding is showing that human beings are capable of great evil and cruelty especially if civilisation breaks down. Ralph shows what can happen to a good person put under pressure.
Here the four sentence introduction has:
- stayed focussed on the topic (Ralph) throughout
- given a reason why he is important (he represents order and civilisation)
- given a brief summary of the plot (boys on a desert island becoming violent)
- presented an idea about what the author might have been interested in showing the reader (Golding is showing human beings are capable of evil)
- finished with an overall argument (Ralph shows what can happen when a good person is put under pressure) that can be explored in the rest of the essay
Identifying and using key words
When you read an essay question or title you need to identify the key words, particularly the word or phrase that tells you the topic to focus on.
You then need to make sure you use these key words or phrases in your introduction.
It is not, however, as simple as just putting the key words into a sentence – you need to use these key words effectively to show your ideas and thinking.
So, for example, if the question is:
How is humour used in the play, Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare?
The topic is clearly ‘humour’ and this word needs to be used in your introduction. However simply writing: ‘Humour is used in Twelfth Night in lots of ways’ is not a powerful start. The introduction needs to introduce some of your ideas straightaway.
A better first sentence could be:
Shakespeare uses humour in Twelfth Night in order to make the audience think about ideas that might otherwise be too shocking, for example, the behaviour of women and men, or, nobles and servants.
The key word ‘humour’ has still been used (and other words from the essay question) but the sentence has immediately used the phrase ‘in order to’ to set out your big idea as to why Shakespeare used humour.
Which is false?
Which of these statements is not true?
- An introduction needs to use key words from the essay title or question.
- An introduction needs to show everything you know about a key word.
- An introduction needs to use key words to begin to suggest your own ideas and thinking.
Answer: 2. An introduction does not need to show everything you know about a key word. You can expand on this in the main body of the essay.
What to avoid
- Avoid phrases like ‘In this essay I’m going to write about …’
- Avoid moving away from your topic. Stay focused on the essay title.
- Avoid a detailed analysis of the text in your introduction – you don’t need to start analysing quotations here.
Test your knowledge
Writing in response to fiction, how to use evidence from a text, how to write an essay.
How to write a conclusion to an essay


27 Outstanding College Essay Examples From Top Universities 2022
One of the best ways to write a successful college essay for your college application is by learning from real college essay examples that worked . I've compiled a few of my favorite essay examples here that cover a variety of college essay topics.
Need help writing your college essay? Click here for my ultimate guide .
Or, check out my complete guide for answering the most popular college essay prompts on the Common App.
Some essay samples below are by students who chose to write about a challenge, while other examples may be helpful if you’re looking to write about yourself more generally. And yes, a few of these essays did help these students get accepted into the Ivy League, (I’m not telling you which!) though these are all great essays regardless of where (or if) students were admitted to their top choice school.
Looking for more college admissions essay examples about yourself? Check out more personal statements here .
Behold, some of the best college essays of 2021 (in my humble opinion).
TABLE OF CONTENTS
- Personal Statement Examples Burying Grandma Laptop Stickers Punk Rock Philosopher Grandma's Kimchi Travel and Language Dead Bird I Shot My Brother Porcelain God
UC Essay Examples
- Supplemental Essay Examples UChicago Supplemental Essay Examples Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Rock, Paper, Scissors U of Michigan Supplemental Essay Example East Meets West
Common App Essay Prompts
According to the 2022/2023 Common Application , the common app essays topics are as follows:
Background Essay: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
Challenge Essay: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
Belief Essay: Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
Gratitude Essay: Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?
Accomplishment Essay: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
Topic Essay: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
Create-Your-Own Essay: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
What Makes a Great College Essay?
These application essays show many sides of a person.
The key to many of these essays is that they describe a story or an aspect of the student’s life in a way that is dynamic: It reflects many of their values, strengths, interests, volunteer work, and life experiences.
Many of these essays also demonstrate vulnerability. College admissions officers reading your college application will want to know how your values, qualities, and skills will flourish in college— and how good your writing skills are .
Whether it’s a supplemental essay , personal statement , Common App essay , or diversity essay , the essays below can help you better understand what can result from following a college essay format or applying tips for how to write a college essay to help you get into your dream school.
College Essay Tips
We asked dozens of experts on essay writing and test scores for their take on what makes a great college essay. Check out five of our favorite college essay tips below.
1. Imagine how the person reading your essay will feel.
No one's idea of a good time is writing a college essay, I know. But if sitting down to write your essay feels like a chore, and you're bored by what you're saying, you can imagine how the person reading your essay will feel. On the other hand, if you're writing about something you love, something that excites you, something that you've thought deeply about, chances are I'm going to set down your application feeling excited, too—and feeling like I've gotten to know you.
This college essay tip is by Abigail McFee, Admissions Counselor for Tufts University and Tufts ‘17 graduate.
2. Write like a journalist.
"Don't bury the lede!" The first few sentences must capture the reader's attention, provide a gist of the story, and give a sense of where the essay is heading. Think about any article you've read—how do you decide to read it? You read the first few sentences and then decide. The same goes for college essays. A strong lede (journalist parlance for "lead") will place your reader in the "accept" mindset from the beginning of the essay. A weak lede will have your reader thinking "reject"—a mindset from which it's nearly impossible to recover.
This college essay tip is by Brad Schiller, MIT graduate and CEO of Prompt, which provides individualized feedback on thousands of students’ essays each year.
3. Don't read the Common Application prompts.
If you already have, erase them from memory and write the story you want colleges to hear. The truth is, admission reviewers rarely know—or care—which prompt you are responding to. They are curious to discover what you choose to show them about who you are, what you value , and why. Even the most fluid writers are often stifled by fitting their narrative neatly into a category and the essay quickly loses authentic voice. Write freely and choose a prompt later. Spoiler alert...one prompt is "Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. " So have at it.
This college essay tip is by Brennan Barnard, director of college counseling at the Derryfield School in Manchester, N.H. and contributor to the NYT, HuffPost, and Forbes on intentionally approaching college admissions.
4. Show your emotions.
Adding feelings to your essays can be much more powerful than just listing your achievements. It allows reviewers to connect with you and understand your personality and what drives you. In particular, be open to showing vulnerability. Nobody expects you to be perfect and acknowledging times in which you have felt nervous or scared shows maturity and self-awareness.
This college essay tip is by Charles Maynard, Oxford and Stanford University Graduate and founder of Going Merry, which is a one-stop shop for applying to college scholarships
5. Revise often and early.
Your admissions essay should go through several stages of revision . And by revisions, we don’t mean quick proofreads. Ask your parents, teachers, high school counselors or friends for their eyes and edits. It should be people who know you best and want you to succeed. Take their constructive criticism in the spirit for which they intend—your benefit.
This college essay tip is by Dhivya Arumugham, Kaplan Test Prep's director of SAT and ACT programs.

Personal Statement Examples
The "burying grandma" example college essay.
Written for the Common App college application essays "Tell us your story" prompt. This essay could work for prompts 1 and 7 for the Common App.
They covered the precious mahogany coffin with a brown amalgam of rocks, decomposed organisms, and weeds. It was my turn to take the shovel, but I felt too ashamed to dutifully send her off when I had not properly said goodbye. I refused to throw dirt on her. I refused to let go of my grandmother, to accept a death I had not seen coming, to believe that an illness could not only interrupt, but steal a beloved life.
When my parents finally revealed to me that my grandmother had been battling liver cancer, I was twelve and I was angry--mostly with myself. They had wanted to protect me--only six years old at the time--from the complex and morose concept of death. However, when the end inevitably arrived, I wasn’t trying to comprehend what dying was; I was trying to understand how I had been able to abandon my sick grandmother in favor of playing with friends and watching TV. Hurt that my parents had deceived me and resentful of my own oblivion, I committed myself to preventing such blindness from resurfacing.
I became desperately devoted to my education because I saw knowledge as the key to freeing myself from the chains of ignorance. While learning about cancer in school I promised myself that I would memorize every fact and absorb every detail in textbooks and online medical journals. And as I began to consider my future, I realized that what I learned in school would allow me to silence that which had silenced my grandmother. However, I was focused not with learning itself, but with good grades and high test scores. I started to believe that academic perfection would be the only way to redeem myself in her eyes--to make up for what I had not done as a granddaughter.
However, a simple walk on a hiking trail behind my house made me open my own eyes to the truth. Over the years, everything--even honoring my grandmother--had become second to school and grades. As my shoes humbly tapped against the Earth, the towering trees blackened by the forest fire a few years ago, the faintly colorful pebbles embedded in the sidewalk, and the wispy white clouds hanging in the sky reminded me of my small though nonetheless significant part in a larger whole that is humankind and this Earth. Before I could resolve my guilt, I had to broaden my perspective of the world as well as my responsibilities to my fellow humans.
Volunteering at a cancer treatment center has helped me discover my path. When I see patients trapped in not only the hospital but also a moment in time by their diseases, I talk to them. For six hours a day, three times a week, Ivana is surrounded by IV stands, empty walls, and busy nurses that quietly yet constantly remind her of her breast cancer. Her face is pale and tired, yet kind--not unlike my grandmother’s. I need only to smile and say hello to see her brighten up as life returns to her face. Upon our first meeting, she opened up about her two sons, her hometown, and her knitting group--no mention of her disease. Without even standing up, the three of us—Ivana, me, and my grandmother--had taken a walk together.
Cancer, as powerful and invincible as it may seem, is a mere fraction of a person’s life. It’s easy to forget when one’s mind and body are so weak and vulnerable. I want to be there as an oncologist to remind them to take a walk once in a while, to remember that there’s so much more to life than a disease. While I physically treat their cancer, I want to lend patients emotional support and mental strength to escape the interruption and continue living. Through my work, I can accept the shovel without burying my grandmother’s memory.
Tips + Analysis:
Make (Narrative) structure work for you. This essay uses what we call Narrative Structure, which focuses (in roughly equal word count) on a challenge + effects you’ve faced, what you did about it, and what you learned. Quick tip: one common and easy mistake is to spend most of the essay focused on the challenges + effects, but try to keep that to about a third—what your reader is generally more interested in is what you did about that challenge and what you learned/how you’ve grown. For a more complete guide to using Narrative Structure to shape your personal statement, check out that link.
Show insight and growth. This essay does so in a few different ways. One is by recognizing that they were wrong about something / had “done it wrong” (e.g. ...understand how I had been able to abandon my sick grandmother in favor of playing with friends and watching TV or However, I was focused not with learning itself, but with good grades and high test scores. ). We’re pointing this out because, fairly frequently, students are worried that acknowledging they were wrong in some way will be looked down upon by readers. Put those worries to rest—showing that you’re capable of reflecting, acknowledging your failings or where you were wrong, and growing through your new understanding is a sign of maturity that colleges value. (For more on insight/reflection , check out that link, which is focused on the UC PIQs but its content also applies to personal statements.)
Bring us into your world. You can do so through things like imagery (e.g., the towering trees blackened by the forest fire a few years ago, the faintly colorful pebbles embedded in the sidewalk, and the wispy white clouds hanging in the sky ) and through illustrating (or sometimes directly naming) your values and how your experiences have shaped them (e.g., I had to broaden my perspective of the world as well as my responsibilities to my fellow humans ). A personal statement isn’t simply a list of accomplishments (let your Activities List and Additional Info section do that lifting for you). Instead, it’s about helping a college understand who you are through the values, interests, insights, skills, and qualities you bring to their campus and community.
Learn how to write your college essay
The "laptop stickers" college essay example.
My laptop is like a passport. It is plastered with stickers all over the outside, inside, and bottom. Each sticker is a stamp, representing a place I've been, a passion I've pursued, or community I've belonged to. These stickers make for an untraditional first impression at a meeting or presentation, but it's one I'm proud of. Let me take you on a quick tour:
" We < 3 Design ," bottom left corner. Art has been a constant for me for as long as I can remember. Today my primary engagement with art is through design. I've spent entire weekends designing websites and social media graphics for my companies. Design means more to me than just branding and marketing; it gives me the opportunity to experiment with texture, perspective, and contrast, helping me refine my professional style.
" Common Threads ," bottom right corner. A rectangular black and red sticker displaying the theme of the 2017 [email protected] event. For years I've been interested in the street artists and musicians in downtown Austin who are so unapologetically themselves. As a result, I've become more open-minded and appreciative of unconventional lifestyles. TED gives me the opportunity to help other youth understand new perspectives, by exposing them to the diversity of Austin where culture is created, not just consumed.
Poop emoji , middle right. My 13-year-old brother often sends his messages with the poop emoji 'echo effect,' so whenever I open a new message from him, hundreds of poops elegantly cascade across my screen. He brings out my goofy side, but also helps me think rationally when I am overwhelmed. We don't have the typical "I hate you, don't talk to me" siblinghood (although occasionally it would be nice to get away from him); we're each other's best friends. Or at least he's mine.
" Lol ur not Harry Styles ," upper left corner. Bought in seventh grade and transferred from my old laptop, this sticker is torn but persevering with layers of tape. Despite conveying my fangirl-y infatuation with Harry Styles' boyband, One Direction, for me Styles embodies an artist-activist who uses his privilege for the betterment of society. As a $42K donor to the Time's Up Legal Defense Fund, a hair donor to the Little Princess Trust, and promoter of LGBTQ+ equality, he has motivated me to be a more public activist instead of internalizing my beliefs.
" Catapult ," middle right. This is the logo of a startup incubator where I launched my first company, Threading Twine. I learned that business can provide others access to fundamental human needs, such as economic empowerment of minorities and education. In my career, I hope to be a corporate advocate for the empowerment of women, creating large-scale impact and deconstructing institutional boundaries that obstruct women from working in high-level positions. Working as a women's rights activist will allow me to engage in creating lasting movements for equality, rather than contributing to a cycle that elevates the stances of wealthy individuals.
" Thank God it's Monday ," sneakily nestled in the upper right corner. Although I attempt to love all my stickers equally (haha), this is one of my favorites. I always want my association with work to be positive.
And there are many others, including the horizontal, yellow stripes of the Human Rights Campaign ; " The Team ," a sticker from the Model G20 Economics Summit where I collaborated with youth from around the globe; and stickers from " Kode with Klossy ," a community of girls working to promote women's involvement in underrepresented fields.
When my computer dies (hopefully not for another few years), it will be like my passport expiring. It'll be difficult leaving these moments and memories behind, but I probably won't want these stickers in my 20s anyways (except Harry Styles, that's never leaving). My next set of stickers will reveal my next set of aspirations. They hold the key to future paths I will navigate, knowledge I will gain, and connections I will make.
Make (Montage) structure work for you. This essay uses what we call Montage Structure, which uses a “thematic thread” (in this case, laptop stickers ) to connect different, perhaps otherwise seemingly disconnected sides of who a student is. One strength (among many) of this structural approach is that it can allow a student to demonstrate a broad range of values and experiences that have shaped them, which in turn helps a college understand who you are through the values, interests, insights, skills, and qualities you bring to their campus and community. For a more complete guide to using Montage Structure to shape your personal statement, check out that link.
Show (and probably also tell a little). “Show don’t tell” is generally solid writing advice, but for college essays, we’d recommend leaning a bit more toward the “Mostly show but than maybe also tell a little, just to be sure your reader gets it” approach (Though that’s clearly not as catchy a phrase). So show us your experiences and values through specific moments and details, but also include some language that more directly states those values and what they mean to you, like Working as a women's rights activist will allow me to engage in creating lasting movements for equality, rather than contributing to a cycle that elevates the stances of wealthy individuals .
Get a little vulnerable. Being vulnerable in writing is a great way to help a reader feel closer to you. And it’s useful to keep in mind that there’s actually a pretty great variety of ways to be vulnerable. One nice moment of vulnerability in this essay comes with …in we're each other's best friends. Or at least he's mine —it’s a nice, soft moment in which the author offers up something that could feel a little tender, or maybe scary to share (because hey, acknowledging that you might care about someone more than they care about you can feel that way).
THE "PUNK ROCK PHILOSOPHER" COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE
This was written for the Common App college application essays, and works for prompts 1 and 7 (or none of them, because the author is that cool):
I am on Oxford Academy’s Speech and Debate Team, in both the Parliamentary Debate division and the Lincoln-Douglass debate division. I write screenplays, short stories, and opinionated blogs and am a regular contributor to my school literary magazine, The Gluestick. I have accumulated over 300 community service hours that includes work at homeless shelters, libraries, and special education youth camps. I have been evaluated by the College Board and have placed within the top percentile.
But I am not any of these things. I am not a test score, nor a debater, nor a writer. I am an anti-nihilist punk rockphilosopher. And I became so when I realized three things:
1) That the world is ruled by underwear. There is a variety of underwear for a variety of people. You have your ironed briefs for your businessmen, your soft cottons for the average, and hemp-based underwear for your environmental romantics. But underwear do not only tell us about who we are, they also influence our daily interactions in ways most of us don't even understand. For example, I have a specific pair of underwear that is holey, worn out but surprisingly comfortable. And despite how trivial underwear might be, when I am wearing my favorite pair, I feel as if I am on top of the world. In any case, these articles of clothing affect our being and are the unsung heroes of comfort.
2) When I realized I cannot understand the world. I recently debated at the Orange County Speech League Tournament, within the Parliamentary Division. This specific branch of debate is an hour long, and consists of two parties debating either side of a current political issue. In one particular debate, I was assigned the topic: “Should Nation States eliminate nuclear arms?” It so happened that I was on the negative side and it was my job to convince the judges that countries should continue manufacturing nuclear weapons. During the debate, something strange happened: I realized that we are a special breed of species, that so much effort and resources are invested to ensure mutual destruction. And I felt that this debate in a small college classroom had elucidated something much more profound about the scale of human existence. In any case, I won 1st place at the tournament, but as the crowd cheered when my name was called to stand before an audience of hundreds of other debaters, and I flashed a victorious smile at the cameras, I couldn’t help but imagine that somewhere at that moment a nuclear bomb was being manufactured, adding to an ever-growing stockpile of doom. And that's when I realized that the world was something I will never understand.
3) When I realized I was a punk rocker philosopher. One summer night, my friend took me to an underground hardcore punk rock show. It was inside a small abandoned church. After the show, I met and became a part of this small community. Many were lost and on a constant soul-search, and to my surprise, many, like myself, did not have a blue Mohawk or a nose piercing. Many were just ordinary people discussing Nietzsche, string theory, and governmental ideologies. Many were also artists creating promotional posters and inventive slogans for stickers. They were all people my age who could not afford to be part of a record label and did something extraordinary by playing in these abandoned churches, making their own CDs and making thousands of promotional buttons by hand. I realized then that punk rock is not about music nor is it a guy with a blue Mohawk screaming protests. Punk rock is an attitude, a mindset, and very much a culture. It is an antagonist to the conventional. It means making the best with what you have to contribute to a community. This was when I realized that I was a punk rock philosopher.
The world I come from consists of underwear, nuclear bombs, and punk rockers. And I love this world. My world is inherently complex, mysterious, and anti-nihilist. I am David Phan, somebody who spends his weekends debating in a three piece suit, other days immersed within the punk rock culture, and some days writing opinionated blogs about underwear.
But why college? I want a higher education. I want more than just the textbook fed classrooms in high school. A community which prizes revolutionary ideals, a sharing of multi-dynamical perspectives, an environment that ultimately acts as a medium for movement, similar to the punk rock community. I do not see college as a mere stepping stone for a stable career or a prosperous life, but as a supplement for knowledge and self-empowerment; it is a social engine that will jettison us to our next paradigm shift.
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The "Grandma's Kimchi" College Essay Example
This essay could work for prompts 1 and 7 for the Common App.
Every Saturday morning, I’d awaken to the smell of crushed garlic and piquant pepper. I would stumble into the kitchen to find my grandma squatting over a large silver bowl, mixing fat lips of fresh cabbages with garlic, salt, and red pepper. That was how the delectable Korean dish, kimchi, was born every weekend at my home.
My grandma’s specialty always dominated the dinner table as kimchi filled every plate. And like my grandma who had always been living with us, it seemed as though the luscious smell of garlic would never leave our home. But even the prided recipe was defenseless against the ravages of Alzheimer’s that inflicted my grandma’s mind.
Dementia slowly fed on her memories until she became as blank as a brand-new notebook. The ritualistic rigor of Saturday mornings came to a pause, and during dinner, the artificial taste of vacuum-packaged factory kimchi only emphasized the absence of the family tradition. I would look at her and ask, “Grandma, what’s my name?” But she would stare back at me with a clueless expression. Within a year of diagnosis, she lived with us like a total stranger.
One day, my mom brought home fresh cabbages and red pepper sauce. She brought out the old silver bowl and poured out the cabbages, smothering them with garlic and salt and pepper. The familiar tangy smell tingled my nose. Gingerly, my grandma stood up from the couch in the living room, and as if lured by the smell, sat by the silver bowl and dug her hands into the spiced cabbages. As her bony hands shredded the green lips, a look of determination grew on her face. Though her withered hands no longer displayed the swiftness and precision they once did, her face showed the aged rigor of a professional. For the first time in years, the smell of garlic filled the air and the rattling of the silver bowl resonated throughout the house.
That night, we ate kimchi. It wasn’t perfect; the cabbages were clumsily cut and the garlic was a little too strong. But kimchi had never tasted better. I still remember my grandma putting a piece in my mouth and saying, “Here, Dong Jin. Try it, my boy.”
Seeing grandma again this summer, that moment of clarity seemed ephemeral. Her disheveled hair and expressionless face told of the aggressive development of her illness.
But holding her hands, looking into her eyes, I could still smell that garlic. The moments of Saturday mornings remain ingrained in my mind. Grandma was an artist who painted the cabbages with strokes of red pepper. Like the sweet taste of kimchi, I hope to capture those memories in my keystrokes as I type away these words.
A piece of writing is more than just a piece of writing. It evokes. It inspires. It captures what time takes away.
My grandma used to say: “Tigers leave furs when they die, humans leave their names.” Her legacy was the smell of garlic that lingered around my house. Mine will be these words.
The "Travel and Language" College Essay Example
When I was very little, I caught the travel bug. It started after my grandparents first brought me to their home in France and I have now been to twenty-nine different countries. Each has given me a unique learning experience.
At five, I marveled at the Eiffel Tower in the City of Lights. When I was eight, I stood in the heart of Piazza San Marco feeding hordes of pigeons, then glided down Venetian waterways on sleek gondolas. At thirteen, I saw the ancient, megalithic structure of Stonehenge and walked along the Great Wall of China, amazed that the thousand-year-old stones were still in place.
It was through exploring cultures around the world that I first became interested in language.
It began with French, which taught me the importance of pronunciation. I remember once asking a store owner in Paris where Rue des Pyramides was. But when I pronounced it PYR–a–mides instead of pyr–A–mides, with more accent on the A, she looked at me bewildered.
In the eighth grade, I became fascinated with Spanish and aware of its similarities with English through cognates. Baseball in Spanish, for example, is béisbol, which looks different but sounds nearly the same. This was incredible to me as it made speech and comprehension more fluid, and even today I find that cognates come to the rescue when I forget how to say something in Spanish.
Then, in high school, I developed an enthusiasm for Chinese. As I studied Chinese at my school, I marveled how if just one stroke was missing from a character, the meaning is lost. I loved how long words were formed by combining simpler characters, so Huǒ (火) meaning fire and Shān (山) meaning mountain can be joined to create Huǒshān (火山), which means volcano. I love spending hours at a time practicing the characters and I can feel the beauty and rhythm as I form them.
Interestingly, after studying foreign languages, I was further intrigued by my native tongue. Through my love of books and fascination with developing a sesquipedalian lexicon (learning big words), I began to expand my English vocabulary. Studying the definitions prompted me to inquire about their origins, and suddenly I wanted to know all about etymology, the history of words. My freshman year I took a world history class and my love for history grew exponentially. To me, history is like a great novel, and it is especially fascinating because it took place in my own world.
But the best dimension that language brought to my life is interpersonal connection. When I speak with people in their native language, I find I can connect with them on a more intimate level. I’ve connected with people in the most unlikely places, finding a Bulgarian painter to use my few Bulgarian words with in the streets of Paris, striking up a conversation in Spanish with an Indian woman who used to work at the Argentinian embassy in Mumbai, and surprising a library worker by asking her a question in her native Mandarin.
I want to study foreign language and linguistics in college because, in short, it is something that I know I will use and develop for the rest of my life. I will never stop traveling, so attaining fluency in foreign languages will only benefit me. In the future, I hope to use these skills as the foundation of my work, whether it is in international business, foreign diplomacy, or translation.
I think of my journey as best expressed through a Chinese proverb that my teacher taught me, “I am like a chicken eating at a mountain of rice.” Each grain is another word for me to learn as I strive to satisfy my unquenchable thirst for knowledge.
Today, I still have the travel bug, and now, it seems, I am addicted to language too.
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The "Dead Bird" Example College Essay Example
This was written for a Common App college application essay prompt that no longer exists, which read: Evaluate a significant experience, risk, achievement, ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
Smeared blood, shredded feathers. Clearly, the bird was dead. But wait, the slight fluctuation of its chest, the slow blinking of its shiny black eyes. No, it was alive.
I had been typing an English essay when I heard my cat's loud meows and the flutter of wings. I had turned slightly at the noise and had found the barely breathing bird in front of me.
The shock came first. Mind racing, heart beating faster, blood draining from my face. I instinctively reached out my hand to hold it, like a long-lost keepsake from my youth. But then I remembered that birds had life, flesh, blood.
Death. Dare I say it out loud? Here, in my own home?
Within seconds, my reflexes kicked in. Get over the shock. Gloves, napkins, towels. Band-aid? How does one heal a bird? I rummaged through the house, keeping a wary eye on my cat. Donning yellow rubber gloves, I tentatively picked up the bird. Never mind the cat's hissing and protesting scratches, you need to save the bird. You need to ease its pain.
But my mind was blank. I stroked the bird with a paper towel to clear away the blood, see the wound. The wings were crumpled, the feet mangled. A large gash extended close to its jugular rendering its breathing shallow, unsteady. The rising and falling of its small breast slowed. Was the bird dying? No, please, not yet.
Why was this feeling so familiar, so tangible?
Oh. Yes. The long drive, the green hills, the white church, the funeral. The Chinese mass, the resounding amens, the flower arrangements. Me, crying silently, huddled in the corner. The Hsieh family huddled around the casket. Apologies. So many apologies. Finally, the body lowered to rest. The body. Kari Hsieh. Still familiar, still tangible.
Hugging Mrs. Hsieh, I was a ghost, a statue. My brain and my body competed. Emotion wrestled with fact. Kari Hsieh, aged 17, my friend of four years, had died in the Chatsworth Metrolink Crash on Sep. 12, 2008. Kari was dead, I thought. Dead.
But I could still save the bird.
My frantic actions heightened my senses, mobilized my spirit. Cupping the bird, I ran outside, hoping the cool air outdoors would suture every wound, cause the bird to miraculously fly away. Yet there lay the bird in my hands, still gasping, still dying. Bird, human, human, bird. What was the difference? Both were the same. Mortal.
But couldn't I do something? Hold the bird longer, de-claw the cat? I wanted to go to my bedroom, confine myself to tears, replay my memories, never come out.
The bird's warmth faded away. Its heartbeat slowed along with its breath. For a long time, I stared thoughtlessly at it, so still in my hands.
Slowly, I dug a small hole in the black earth. As it disappeared under handfuls of dirt, my own heart grew stronger, my own breath more steady.
The wind, the sky, the dampness of the soil on my hands whispered to me, “The bird is dead. Kari has passed. But you are alive.” My breath, my heartbeat, my sweat sighed back, “I am alive. I am alive. I am alive.”
The "I Shot My Brother" College Essay Example
This essay could work for prompts 1, 2 and 7 for the Common App.
From page 54 of the maroon notebook sitting on my mahogany desk:
“Then Cain said to the Lord, “My punishment is greater than I can bear. I shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth and whoever finds me will kill me.” - Genesis 4:13
Here is a secret that no one in my family knows: I shot my brother when I was six. Luckily, it was a BB gun. But to this day, my older brother Jonathan does not know who shot him. And I have finally promised myself to confess this eleven year old secret to him after I write this essay.
The truth is, I was always jealous of my brother. Our grandparents, with whom we lived as children in Daegu, a rural city in South Korea, showered my brother with endless accolades: he was bright, athletic, and charismatic.
“Why can’t you be more like Jon?” my grandmother used to nag, pointing at me with a carrot stick. To me, Jon was just cocky. He would scoff at me when he would beat me in basketball, and when he brought home his painting of Bambi with the teacher’s sticker “Awesome!” on top, he would make several copies of it and showcase them on the refrigerator door. But I retreated to my desk where a pile of “Please draw this again and bring it to me tomorrow” papers lay, desperate for immediate treatment. Later, I even refused to attend the same elementary school and wouldn’t even eat meals with him.
Deep down I knew I had to get the chip off my shoulder. But I didn’t know how.
That is, until March 11th, 2001.
That day around six o’clock, juvenile combatants appeared in Kyung Mountain for their weekly battle, with cheeks smeared in mud and empty BB guns in their hands. The Korean War game was simple: to kill your opponent you had to shout “pow!” before he did. Once we situated ourselves, our captain blew the pinkie whistle and the war began. My friend Min-young and I hid behind a willow tree, eagerly awaiting our orders.
Beside us, our comrades were dying, each falling to the ground crying in “agony,” their hands clasping their “wounds.” Suddenly a wish for heroism surged within me: I grabbed Min-young’s arms and rushed towards the enemies’ headquarters, disobeying our orders to remain sentry duty. To tip the tide of the war, I had to kill their captain. We infiltrated the enemy lines, narrowly dodging each attack. We then cleared the pillars of asparagus ferns until the Captain’s lair came into view. I quickly pulled my clueless friend back into the bush.
Hearing us, the alarmed captain turned around: It was my brother.
He saw Min-young’s right arm sticking out from the bush and hurled a “grenade,” (a rock), bruising his arm.
“That’s not fair!” I roared in the loudest and most unrecognizable voice I could manage.
Startled, the Captain and his generals abandoned their post. Vengeance replaced my wish for heroism and I took off after the fleeing perpetrator. Streams of sweat ran down my face and I pursued him for several minutes until suddenly I was arrested by a small, yellow sign that read in Korean: DO NOT TRESPASS: Boar Traps Ahead. (Two summers ago, my five year old cousin, who insisted on joining the ranks, had wandered off-course during the battle; we found him at the bottom of a 20 ft deep pit with a deep gash in his forehead and shirt soaked in blood) “Hey, stop!” I shouted, heart pounding. “STOP!” My mind froze. My eyes just gazed at the fleeing object; what should I do?
I looked on as my shivering hand reached for the canister of BBs. The next second, I heard two shots followed by a cry. I opened my eyes just enough to see two village men carrying my brother away from the warning sign. I turned around, hurled my BB gun into the nearby Kyung Creek and ran home as fast as I could.
Days passed. My brother and I did not talk about the incident.
‘Maybe he knew it was me,’ I thought in fear as I tried to eavesdrop on his conversation with grandpa one day. When the door suddenly opened, I blurted, “Is anything wrong?”
“Nothing,” he said pushing past me, “Just a rough sleep.”
But in the next few weeks, something was happening inside me.
All the jealousy and anger I’d once felt had been replaced by a new feeling: guilt.
That night when my brother was gone I went to a local store and bought a piece of chocolate taffy, his favorite. I returned home and placed it on my brother’s bed with a note attached: “Love, Grandma.”
Several days later, I secretly went into his room and folded his unkempt pajamas.
Then, other things began to change. We began sharing clothes (something we had never done), started watching Pokémon episodes together, and then, on his ninth birthday, I did something with Jon that I hadn’t done in six years: I ate dinner with him. I even ate fishcakes, which he loved but I hated. And I didn’t complain.
Today, my brother is one of my closest friends. Every week I accompany him to Carlson Hospital where he receives treatment for his obsessive compulsive disorder and schizophrenia. While in the waiting room, we play a noisy game of Zenga, comment on the Lakers’ performance or listen to the radio on the registrar’s desk.
Then, the door to the doctor’s office opens.
“Jonathan Lee, please come in.”
I tap his shoulder and whisper, “Rock it, bro.”
After he leaves, I take out my notebook and begin writing where I left off.
Beside me, the receptionist’s fingers hover over the radio in search of a new station, eventually settling on one. I hear LeAnn Rimes singing “Amazing Grace.” Her voice slowly rises over the noise of the bustling room.
“’Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear. And Grace, my fears relieved...”
Smiling, I open Jon’s Jansport backpack and neatly place this essay inside and a chocolate taffy with a note attached.
Twenty minutes have passed when the door abruptly opens.
“Guess what the doctor just said?” my brother cries, unable to hide his exhilaration.
I look up and I smile too.
For analysis of what makes this essay amazing , go here.
The "Porcelain God" College Essay Example
Essay written for the "topic of your choice" prompt for the 2012 Common Application college application essays.
Bowing down to the porcelain god, I emptied the contents of my stomach. Foaming at the mouth, I was ready to pass out. My body couldn’t stop shaking as I gasped for air, and the room started spinning.
Ten minutes prior, I had been eating dinner with my family at a Chinese restaurant, drinking chicken-feet soup. My mom had specifically asked the waitress if there were peanuts in it, because when I was two we found out that I am deathly allergic to them. When the waitress replied no, I went for it. Suddenly I started scratching my neck, feeling the hives that had started to form. I rushed to the restroom to throw up because my throat was itchy and I felt a weight on my chest. I was experiencing anaphylactic shock, which prevented me from taking anything but shallow breaths. I was fighting the one thing that is meant to protect me and keep me alive – my own body.
At five years old, I couldn’t comprehend what had happened. All I knew was that I felt sick, and I was waiting for my mom to give me something to make it better. I thought my parents were superheroes; surely they would be able to make well again. But I became scared when I heard the fear in their voices as they rushed me to the ER.
After that incident, I began to fear. I became scared of death, eating, and even my own body. As I grew older, I became paranoid about checking food labels and I avoided eating if I didn’t know what was in the food. I knew what could happen if I ate one wrong thing, and I wasn’t willing to risk it for a snack. Ultimately, that fear turned into resentment; I resented my body for making me an outsider.
In the years that followed, this experience and my regular visits to my allergy specialist inspired me to become an allergy specialist. Even though I was probably only ten at the time, I wanted to find a way to help kids like me. I wanted to find a solution so that nobody would have to feel the way I did; nobody deserved to feel that pain, fear, and resentment. As I learned more about the medical world, I became more fascinated with the body’s immune responses, specifically, how a body reacts to allergens. This past summer, I took a month-long course on human immunology at Stanford University. I learned about the different mechanisms and cells that our bodies use in order to fight off pathogens. My desire to major in biology in college has been stimulated by my fascination with the human body, its processes, and the desire to find a way to help people with allergies. I hope that one day I can find a way to stop allergic reactions or at least lessen the symptoms, so that children and adults don’t have to feel the same fear and bitterness that I felt.
To find out if your essay passes the Great College Essay Test like this one did, go here .
The "Five Families" College Essay Example
This essay could work for prompts 1, 2, 5 and 7 for the Common App.
When I was 16, I lived with the Watkins family in Wichita, Kansas. Mrs. Watkins was the coordinator of the foreign exchange student program I was enrolled in. She had a nine year old son named Cody. I would babysit Cody every day after school for at least two to three hours. We would play Scrabble or he would read to me from Charlotte’s Web or The Ugly Duckling. He would talk a lot about his friends and school life, and I would listen to him and ask him the meanings of certain words. He was my first friend in the New World.
My second family was the Martinez family, who were friends of the Watkins’s. The host dad Michael was a high school English teacher and the host mom Jennifer (who had me call her “Jen”) taught elementary school. She had recently delivered a baby, so she was still in the hospital when I moved into their house. The Martinez family did almost everything together. We made pizza together, watched Shrek on their cozy couch together, and went fishing on Sunday together. On rainy days, Michael, Jen and I would sit on the porch and listen to the rain, talking about our dreams and thoughts. Within two months I was calling them mom and dad.
After I finished the exchange student program, I had the option of returning to Korea but I decided to stay in America. I wanted to see new places and meet different people. Since I wasn’t an exchange student anymore, I had the freedom--and burden--of finding a new school and host family on my own. After a few days of thorough investigation, I found the Struiksma family in California. They were a unique group.
The host mom Shellie was a single mom who had two of her own sons and two Russian daughters that she had adopted. The kids always had something warm to eat, and were always on their best behavior at home and in school. It would be fair to say that this was all due to Shellie’s upbringing. My room was on the first floor, right in front of Shellie’s hair salon, a small business that she ran out of her home. In the living room were six or seven huge amplifiers and a gigantic chandelier hung from the high ceiling. The kitchen had a bar. At first, the non-stop visits from strangers made me nervous, but soon I got used to them. I remember one night, a couple barged into my room while I was sleeping. It was awkward.
After a few months I realized we weren’t the best fit. In the nicest way possible, I told them I had to leave. They understood.
The Ortiz family was my fourth family. Kimberly, the host mom, treated me the same way she treated her own son. She made me do chores: I fixed dinner, fed their two dogs Sassy and Lady, and once a week I cleaned the bathroom. I also had to follow some rules: No food in my room, no using the family computer, no lights on after midnight, and no ride unless it was an emergency. The first couple of months were really hard to get used to, but eventually I adjusted.
I lived with the Ortiz family for seven months like a monk in the deep forest. However, the host dad Greg’s asthma got worse after winter, so he wanted to move to the countryside. It was unexpected and I only had a week to find a new host family. I asked my friend Danielle if I could live with her until I found a new home. That’s how I met the Dirksen family, my fifth family.
The Dirksen family had three kids. They were all different. Danielle liked bitter black coffee, Christian liked energy drinks, and Becca liked sweet lemon tea. Dawn, the host mom didn’t like winter, and Mark, the host dad, didn’t like summer. After dinner, we would all play Wii Sports together. I was the king of bowling, and Dawn was the queen of tennis. I don’t remember a single time that they argued about the games. Afterward, we would gather in the living room and Danielle would play the piano while the rest of us sang hymns.
Of course, those 28 months were too short to fully understand all five families, but I learned from and was shaped by each of them. By teaching me English, nine year-old Cody taught me the importance of being able to learn from anyone; the Martinez family showed me the value of spending time together as a family; the Struiksma family taught me to reserve judgment about divorced women and adopted children; Mrs. Ortiz taught me the value of discipline and the Dirksen family taught me the importance of appreciating one another’s different qualities.
Getting along with other people is necessary for anyone and living with five families has made me more sensitive to others’ needs: I have learned how to recognize when someone needs to talk, when I should give advice and when to simply listen, and when someone needs to be left alone; in the process, I have become much more adaptable. I’m ready to change, learn, and be shaped by my future families.
ANALYSIS OF THE "FIVE FAMILIES" ESSAY
Remember that movie “The Sixth Sense”?
I won't ruin it for you, but I will tell you that there’s a moment toward the end when a crucial piece of information is revealed that triggers in the mind of the audience a series of realizations that have been leading up to this Big Revelation.
That’s kind of what this writer does: he buries a series of hints (one in each paragraph) that he “explodes” in the final paragraph. In short:
He buries a series of essence images in his first paragraphs (one per family).
He doesn’t tell us what they mean until the end of the essay, when he writes “I learned and was shaped by each of them.” Note that each essence image is actually a lesson--something he learned from each family.
When he reveals each lesson at the end, one after the other, we sense how all these seemingly random events are connected. We realize this writer has been carefully constructing this piece all along; we see the underlying structure. And it’s a pretty neat one.
Each of the first five paragraphs works to SHOW . (He waits to TELL us what they mean ‘til that second to last paragraph.)
See how distinct each family is? He does this through specific images and objects.
The second to last paragraph answers the “So what?” question. (Q: Why did he just show us all these details? A: To demonstrate what each family has taught him.)
He also goes one step further. He answers the “So what?” question once more in the final paragraph. (Q: So what am I going to do with all these lessons? A: I’m going to use them to adapt to my next family--in college.)
The beauty of this is that he’s demonstrating (showing not telling) that he has an extremely valuable quality that will be useful for doing well at any college: adaptability.
TIP: And that’s one more way to write your essay . Identify your single greatest strength (in this case, it was his ability to adapt to whatever life gave him). Ask: how did I learn this? How can I SHOW that I’m good at this?
Here are all the “Show” and “Tell” moments clearly marked:
When I was 16, I lived with the Watkins family in Wichita, Kansas. Mrs. Watkins was the coordinator of the foreign exchange student program I was enrolled in. She had a nine year old son named Cody. I would babysit Cody every day after school for at least two to three hours. We would play Scrabble or he would read to me from Charlotte’s Web or The Ugly Duckling. He would talk a lot about his friends and school life, and I would listen to him and ask him the meanings of certain words. He was my first friend in the New World.
Show 1: "By teaching me English, nine year-old Cody taught me the importance of being able to learn from anyone."
My second family was the Martinez family, who were friends of the Watkins’s. The host dad Michael was a high school English teacher and the host mom Jennifer (who had me call her “Jen”) taught elementary school. She had recently delivered a baby, so she was still in the hospital when I moved into their house. The Martinez family did almost everything together. We made pizza together, watched Shrek on their cozy couch together, and went fishing on Sunday together. On rainy days, Michael, Jen and I would sit on the porch and listen to the rain, talking about our dreams and thoughts. Within two months I was calling them mom and dad.
Show 2: "the Martinez family showed me the value of spending time together as a family" (implication: he doesn't have this with his own family)
The host mom Shellie was a single mom who had two of her own sons and two Russian daughters that she had adopted. The kids always had something warm to eat, and were always on their best behavior at home and in school. It would be fair to say that this was all due to Shellie’s upbringing. My room was on the first floor, right in front of Shellie’s hair salon, a small business that she ran out of her home. In the living room were six or seven huge amplifiers and a gigantic chandelier hung from the high ceiling. The kitchen had a bar. At first, the non-stop visits from strangers made me nervous, but soon I got used to them. I remember one night, a couple barged into my room while I was sleeping. It was awkward.
Show 3: "the Struiksma family taught me to reserve judgment about divorced women and adopted children."
The Ortiz family was my fourth family. Kimberly, the host mom, treated me the same way she treated her own son. She made me do chores: I fixed dinner, fed their two dogs Sassy and Lady, and once a week I cleaned the bathroom. I also had to follow some rules: No food in my room, no using the family computer, no lights on after midnight, and no ride unless it was an emergency. The first couple of months were really hard to get used to, but eventually I adjusted.
I lived with the Ortiz family for seven months like a monk in the deep forest. However, the host dad Greg’s asthma got worse after winter, so he wanted to move to the countryside. It was unexpected and I only had a week to find a new host family. I asked my friend Danielle if I could live with her until I found a new home. That’s how I met the Dirksen family, my fifth family.
Show 4: "Mrs. Ortiz taught me the value of discipline."
The Dirksen family had three kids. They were all different. Danielle liked bitter black coffee, Christian liked energy drinks, and Becca liked sweet lemon tea. Dawn, the host mom didn’t like winter, and Mark, the host dad, didn’t like summer. After dinner, we would all play Wii Sports together. I was the king of bowling, and Dawn was the queen of tennis. I don’t remember a single time that they argued about the games. Afterward, we would gather in the living room and Danielle would play the piano while the rest of us sang hymns.
Show 5: "and the Dirksen family taught me the importance of appreciating one another’s different qualities."
Of course, those 28 months were too short to fully understand all five families, but I learned from and was shaped by each of them. By teaching me English, nine year-old Cody taught me the importance of being able to learn from anyone; the Martinez family showed me the value of spending time together as a family; the Struiksma family taught me to reserve judgment about divorced women and adopted children; Mrs. Ortiz taught me the value of discipline and the Dirksen family taught me the importance of appreciating one another’s different qualities.
The "Tell" / "So What":
THE "FOOD" COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE
Montage Essay, “I Love/I Know” Type
I’ve spent most of my life as an anti-vegetable carboholic. For years, processed snack foods ruled the kitchen kingdom of my household and animal products outnumbered plant-based offerings.
My transformation began with my mom’s cancer diagnosis. My mom went on a 100% whole food plant-based diet. I fully embraced this new eating philosophy to show my support. Eager to figure out the whole “vegan” thing, the two of us started binge-watching health documentaries such as “What the Health” and “Forks Over Knives”. We read all the books by the featured doctors like “The China Study” and “How Not To Die”. I became entranced by the world of nutritional science and how certain foods could help prevent cancer or boost metabolism.
Each new food I discovered gave me an education on the role diet plays on health. I learned that, by eating sweet potatoes and brown rice, you could cure acne and heart disease. I discovered eating leafy greens with citrus fruits could boost iron absorption rates. I loved pairing my foods to create the perfect macronutrient balance. Did you know beans and rice make a complete protein?
Food has also turned me into a sustainability nut. Living plant-based also saves the planet from the impact of animal agriculture. For the same amount of land space, a farmer can produce 200 kilograms of soybeans versus 16 kilograms of beef. I do my part to have as small of an ecological footprint as I can. I stopped using plastic snack bags and instead turned to reusable beeswax wraps. My favorite reusable appliance is my foldable straw. If I am going to nourish my body, shouldn’t I also want to nourish the earth?
My journey toward healthy living led me to becoming co-leader of the Northern Nevada PlantPure Pod, “Biggest Little Plant Pod”, a group dedicated to spreading the message about the whole food plant-based lifestyle. We are currently working on a restaurant campaign to encourage local eateries to create a plant-based, oil-free menu option and become PlantPure certified. After discovering how many restaurants use oil in their cooking, I decided I needed to open a plant-based oil free cafe to make up for this gap. My dream is to open up my very own affordable oatmeal cafe based on my Instagram page, morning_mOATivations. And I know that oatmeal isn’t the sexiest superfood out there, so here’s my sales pitch: I’m going to make oatmeal the Beyonce of the breakfast world- sweet, sassy, and power packed. This allows me to educate people about nutritional science through the stomach.
Finally, I am a strong proponent of hands-on experience for learning what good food looks and tastes like, so cooking is one of my favorite ways to teach the benefits of a plant-based lifestyle. Using my taste buds as my textbook to learn which flavors work together and which ones don’t helps me educate, as I’ve found that information tends to stick in a person’s mind once they’ve experienced healthy, delicious foods with their own senses. Our society has taught us that delicious food has to make us feel guilty, when that is simply not the case. The best feeling in the world is falling in love with a dish and then learning all the health benefits that it provides the body.
While my classmates complain about being tired, I have more energy because my body is finally getting the right macros, vitamins, and minerals it needs. This has allowed me to push myself harder physically, excelling in running and earning my high school Cross Country team’s Most Improved award. I’m still a picky eater. But the foods I am particular about have changed. Rather than a carboholic, I choose to call myself a vegeholic.
THE "HAPPINESS SPREADSHEET" COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE
Montage Essay, “Essence Object” Type
Meditation over a flaxen sunset with a friend and parmesan-topped spaghetti for dinner — “14.” Assignments piling up on my desk as a high fever keeps me sick at home — “3.” Taking a photo excursion through downtown Seattle for a Spanish project — “15.” For the past 700 days and counting, the Happiness Spreadsheet has been my digital collection for documenting numerical, descriptive, and graphical representations of my happiness. Its instructions are simple: Open the Google Sheet, enter a number between 1 and 20 that best represents my level of happiness, and write a short comment describing the day. But the practical aspect of the spreadsheet is only a piece of what it has represented in my life.
A “14” etched on November 15, 2018, marked the first Lakeside Cooking on the Stove Club meeting. What had started as a farcical proposition of mine transformed into a playground where high school classmates and I convene every two weeks to prepare a savory afternoon snack for ourselves. A few months later, a “16” scribbled on February 27, 2019, marked the completion of a fence my Spanish class and I constructed for the dusty soccer field at a small Colombian village. Hard-fought days of mixing cement and transporting supplies had paid off for the affectionate community we had immediately come to love. The Happiness Spreadsheet doesn’t only reflect my own thoughts and emotions; it is an illustration of the fulfillment I get from gifting happiness to others.
If happiness paves the roads of my life, my family is the city intertwined by those roads — each member a distinct neighborhood, a distinct story. In times of stress, whether it be studying for an upcoming derivatives test or presenting my research at an international conference, I dash to my father for help. Coming from the dusty, people-packed backstreets of Thiruvananthapuram, India, he guides me in looking past the chaos and noticing the hidden accomplishments that lie in the corners. When in need of confidence, I find my mother, who taps her experiences living in her tranquil and sturdy tatami-covered home in Hiroshima, Japan, helping me prepare for my first high school dance or my final match in a tennis tournament. Whenever my Happiness Spreadsheet numbers touch lows, my family is always there to level me out to “10.”
The Happiness Spreadsheet is also a battery monitor for enthusiasm. On occasion, it is on full charge, like when I touched the last chord on the piano for my composition's winner recital or when, one frosty Friday morning, I convinced a teacher to play over the school speakers a holiday medley I’d recorded with a friend. Other times, the battery is depleted, and I am frustrated by writer's block, when not a single melody, chord, or musical construct crosses my mind. The Happiness Spreadsheet can be a hall of fame, but it can likewise be a catalog of mistakes, burdens, and grueling challenges.
The spreadsheet began on a typical school day when I left my physics class following the most confusing test I’d taken. The idea was born spontaneously at lunch, and I asked two of my friends if they were interested in pursuing this exercise with me. We thought the practice would last only a couple of weeks or months at most, but after reaching 700 days, we now wonder if we’ll ever stop. To this day, I ponder its full importance in my life. With every new number I enter, I recognize that each entry is not what defines me; rather, it is the ever-growing line connecting all the data points that reflects who I am today. With every valley, I force myself onward and with every mountain's peak, I recognize the valleys I’ve crossed to reach the summit. Where will the Happiness Spreadsheet take me next?
THE "TRANSLATING" COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE
Montage Essay, “Skill/Superpower” Type
".miK ijniM" This is how I wrote my name until I was seven . I was a left-handed kid who wrote from right to left, which made my writing comprehensible only to myself. Only after years of practice did I become an ambidextrous writer who could translate my incomprehensible writing. As I look back on my life, I realized that this was my first act of translation.
Translation means reinterpreting my Calculus teacher’s description of L’hospital’s rule into a useful tool for solving the limits . As I deciphered complex codes into comprehensible languages like rate of change and speed of an object, I gained the ability to solve even more complicated and fascinating problems. My Calculus teacher often told me, “It’s not until you can teach math concepts to somebody that you understand them completely.” Before I discovered the joy of teaching, I often explained difficult math concepts to my friends as a tool for reviewing what I’d learned. Now, I volunteer to tutor others: as a Korean tutor for friends who love Korean culture and a golf tutor for new team members. Tutoring is how I integrate and strengthen new concepts for myself.
My talent for translating also applies to my role as a “therapist” for my family and friends . I’m able to identify their real feelings beneath superficial words by translating hand-gestures, facial expressions, and tones. I often put myself into their situation and ask, "What emotional support would I want or need if I was in this situation?" Through these acts of translation, I’ve grown into a more reliable and perceptive friend, daughter, and sister.
However, my translation can't accurately account for the experiences I have yet to go through . After realizing the limitations of my experience, I created a bucket list full of activities out of my comfort zone, which includes traveling abroad by myself, publishing my own book, and giving a lecture in front of a crowd. Although it is a mere list written on the front page of my diary, I found myself vividly planning and picturing myself accomplishing those moments. By widening my experiences, I’ll be a therapist who can empathize fully and give meaningful advice based on rich experiences.
My knack for translating has led me to become a real-life Korean language translator . As an English to Korean letter translator in a non-profit organization, Compassion , I serve as a communication bridge between benefactors and children in developing countries, who communicate through monthly letters. I’ve translated hundreds of letters by researching each country to provide context that considers both cultural aspects and nuances of the language. This experience has motivated me to learn languages like Spanish and Mandarin. I’ve realized that learning various languages has been a journey of self-discovery: the way I talk and interact with people changed depending on the language I used. As I get to know more about myself through different languages, I grew more confident to meet new people and build new friendships.
While translating has been a huge part of my life, a professional translator is not my dream job . I want to be an ambulatory care clinical pharmacist who manages the medication of patients with chronic diseases. In fact, translating is a huge part of the job of a clinical pharmacist. I should substitute myself into patients’ situations to respond to their needs effectively, which requires my translating skill as a “therapist.” Moreover, as a clinical pharmacist, I’ll be the patients’ private tutor who not only guides them through the right use of medication but also gives them emotional support. As my qualities as a “therapist” and a “tutor” shaped me into a great translator, I will continue to develop my future as a clinical pharmacist by enhancing and discovering my qualities. In one form or another, I've always been and will be a translator.
THE "WHY BEHAVIORAL ECONOMICS" COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE
Montage Essay, “Career” Type
I sit, cradled by the two largest branches of the Newton Pippin Tree, watching the ether. The Green Mountains of Vermont stretch out indefinitely, and from my elevated vantage point, I feel as though we are peers, motionless in solidarity. I’ve lost my corporeal form and instead, while watching invisible currents drive white leviathans across the sky, have drifted up into the epistemological stream; completely alone with my questions, diving for answers. But a few months ago, I would have considered this an utter waste of time.
Prior to attending Mountain School, my paradigm was substantially limited; opinions, prejudices, and ideas shaped by the testosterone-rich environment of Landon School. I was herded by result-oriented, fast-paced, technologically-reliant parameters towards psychology and neuroscience (the NIH, a mere 2.11 mile run from my school, is like a beacon on a hill). I was taught that one’s paramount accomplishment should be specialization.
Subconsciously I knew this was not who I wanted to be and seized the chance to apply to the Mountain School. Upon my arrival, though, I immediately felt I did not belong. I found the general atmosphere of hunky-dory acceptance foreign and incredibly unnerving.
So, rather than engage, I retreated to what was most comfortable: sports and work. In the second week, the perfect aggregate of the two, a Broomball tournament, was set to occur. Though I had never played before, I had a distinct vision for it, so decided to organize it.
That night, the glow-in-the-dark ball skittered across the ice. My opponent and I, brooms in hand, charged forward. We collided and I banana-peeled, my head taking the brunt of the impact. Stubborn as I was, even with a concussion, I wanted to remain in class and do everything my peers did, but my healing brain protested. My teachers didn’t quite know what to do with me, so, no longer confined to a classroom if I didn’t want to be, I was in limbo. I began wandering around campus with no company except my thoughts. Occasionally, Zora, my English teacher’s dog, would tag along and we’d walk for miles in each other's silent company. Other times, I found myself pruning the orchard, feeding the school’s wood furnaces, or my new favorite activity, splitting wood. Throughout those days, I created a new-found sense of home in my head.
However, thinking on my own wasn’t enough; I needed more perspectives. I organized raucous late-night discussions about everything from medieval war machines to political theory and randomly challenged my friends to “say something outrageous and defend it.” And whether we achieve profundity or not, I find myself enjoying the act of discourse itself. As Thoreau writes, “Let the daily tide leave some deposit on these pages, as it leaves, the waves may cast up pearls.” I have always loved ideas, but now understand what it means to ride their waves, to let them breathe and become something other than just answers to immediate problems.
I am most enamored by ideas that cultivate ingenious and practical enrichments for humanity. I enjoy picking some conundrum, large or small, and puzzling out a solution. Returning from a cross country meet recently, my friend and I, serendipitously, designed a socially responsible disposable water bottle completely on accident. Now we hope to create it.
I am still interested in psychology and neuroscience, but also desire to incorporate contemplative thought into this work, analyzing enigmas from many different perspectives. My internships at the NIH and the National Hospital for Neuroscience and Neurosurgery in London have offered me valuable exposure to research and medicine. But I have come to realize that neither of my previous intended professions allow me to expand consciousness in the way I would prefer.
After much soul-searching, I have landed on behavioral economics as the perfect synergy of the fields I love. All it took was a knock on the head.
THE "5 FAMILY IDENTITIES" COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE
Montage, “Identity” Type
“Chris, what would you like to have for Christmas Dinner? ”
Suddenly, a miniature gathering of the European Commission glares straight at me. I feel the pressure of picking one option over the other.
What do I choose? The Roast Duck of Denmark, the Five Fish of Italy, the Turkey of Great Britain, or the Ham of the U.S.? Like the various nations of the European Union, the individual proponents of these culinary varieties are lobbying their interests to me, a miniature Jean-Claude Junker.
Now, you may be asking yourselves: why would I be so pensive over a meal choice?
See, I have been blessed to be a part of what my mother calls the “melting pot of Europe.” While I was born in England, my brothers were born in Denmark and New York. I have a Swedish sister-in-law, Italian Aunts, an English Uncle, Romanian cousins and an Italo-Danish immigrant father. Every year, that same family gathers together in New York City to celebrate Christmas. While this wonderful kaleidoscope of cultures has caused me to be the ‘peacekeeper’ during meal arbitrations, it has fundamentally impacted my life.
Our family’s ethnic diversity has meant that virtually each person adheres to a different position on the political spectrum. This has naturally triggered many discussions, ranging from the merits of European single-payer healthcare to those of America’s gun laws, that have often animated our meals. These exact conversations drove me to learn more about what my parents, grandparents, and other relatives were debating with a polite and considerate passion. This ongoing discourse on current events not only initiated my interests in politics and history, but also prepared me greatly for my time as a state-champion debater for Regis’s Public Forum team. In turn, participating in debate has expanded my knowledge regarding matters ranging from civil rights reparations to American redeployment in Iraq, while enriching my capacities to thoughtfully express my views on those and other issues, both during P.F. rounds and at the dinner table.
Just as I’ve learned to understand and bridge the divides between a rich tapestry of cultures in order to develop my familial relations, society’s leadership must also do the same on a grander scale. This awareness incited a passion for statecraft within me – the very art of balancing different perspectives - and therefore a desire to actively engage in government. With my experiences in mind, I felt there was no better place to start than my own neighborhood of Bay Ridge. Young hipsters, a high concentration of seniors, Italian & Irish middle class families, and a growing population of Middle-Eastern Americans help to comprise a district that I have begun serving as the first teenaged member of my local Community Board. Within my public service capacity, I am committed to making policy judgments (for example, regarding hookah bars, zoning regulations, and park renovation expenses) that are both wise and respectful of my community’s diversity.
Most importantly, my family has taught me an integral life lesson. As our Christmas Dinner squabbles suggest, seemingly insurmountable impasses can be resolved through respect and dialogue, even producing delicious results! On a grander scale, it has elucidated that truly inclusive discourse and toleration of diverse perspectives render tribalism, sectarianism, and the divisive aspects of identity politics powerless over our cohesion. I fundamentally value cultural, political, and theological variety; my own microcosm reflecting our global society at large has inspired me to strive to solve the many conflicts of bitterness and sectionalism in our world today. This vocation may come in the form of political leadership that truly respects all perspectives and philosophies, or perhaps as diplomacy facilitating unity between the various nations of the world. The problems I would need to help remedy are numerous and daunting, but our annual Christmas feasts will forever remind me that they can be overcome, and that humanity’s diversity is not a weakness, but a definitive strength.
THE "Coffeeshops + Coffee" COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE
Montage Essay, “Home” Type
Before I came to America, I drank Puer Tea with my father every morning in my bedroom, sitting cross-legged on Suzhou-silk mats beside a view of the Lakeside reservoir. Beside a dark end table, we picked up teacups as the mild aroma greeted our noses. As we faced the French window, my father would share the news he read in China Daily : the Syrian civil war, climate change, and gender equality in Hollywood. Most of the time, I only listened. With each piece of news, my curiosity piqued. Secretly, I made a decision that I wanted to be the one to discuss the news with him from my perspective. So, I decided to study in America to learn more about the world.
After one year’s extensive research and hours of interviews, I came to America for 9th grade and moved in with a host family. But, my new room lacked stories and cups of tea. Fortunately, I found Blue House Cafe on my walk home from church, and started studying there. With white walls, comfortable sofas, and high stools, Blue House is spacious and bright. Hearing people’s stories and looking at their warm smiles when they taste various pastries as I sat by the window, I watched as a production designer scouted locations for his film, or a painter took notes while brainstorming for his freehand brushwork of Blue House. With a cup of coffee, I dig into differential and parametric equations for my upcoming AP Calculus test, learn the nuances of public speaking by watching Michael Sandel’s Justice lectures on my laptop, and plan fundraising events for my non-profit.
I’ve also learned by watching leaders host meetings at the rectangle conference table at the back of the cafe and I learn from the leaders of meetings, watching as they hold the edge of the table and express their ideas. Similarly, as president of the International Students Club, I invited my teammates to have meetings with me at the cafe. Coordinating the schedule with other members in Blue House has become a frequent event. Consuming several cups of coffee, my team and I have planned Lunar New Year events, field trip to the Golden Gate Bridge, and Chinese lunch in school to help international students feel more at home. Straightening my back and bracing my shoulders, I stood up behind the conference table and expressed my creative ideas passionately. After each meeting, we shared buttermilk coffee-cake.
In my spot next to the window, I also witnessed different kinds of people. I viewed visitors dragging their luggage, women carrying shopping bags, and people wandering in tattered clothes --the diversity of San Francisco. Two years ago I saw volunteers wearing City Impact shirts offering sandwiches and hot chocolate to homeless people outside of the cafe. I investigated more about City Impact and eventually signed up to volunteer. No longer was I a bystander. At holiday outreach events, I prepared and delivered food to homeless people. While sharing my coffee, I listened to a story from an older Chinese man who told me, in Mandarin, how he had been abandoned by his children and felt lonely.
Last summer, I returned to Xiamen, China, and taught my father how to drink coffee. Now, a Chemex and teapot are both on the end table. Instead of simply listening, I shared my experiences as a club president, a community leader, and a volunteer. I showed him my business plan and prototypes. My father raised his cup of coffee and made a toast to me, “Good girl! I am so proud of you.” Then, he patted my head as before. Together, we emptied our cups while the smell of coffee lingered.
THE "KOMBUCHA CLUB" COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE
Montage Essay, “Uncommon Extracurricular Activity” Type
I add the critically measured sugary tea mixture to the gallon jar containing the slimy, white, disc-shaped layers of the symbiotic culture of bacteria and yeast.
Now to wait.
After exactly seven days, I pour the liquid into a fermentation-grade glass bottle with a ratio of 20% pomegranate juice and 80% fermented tea. I place it on my kitchen counter, periodically checking it to relieve the built-up CO2.
Finally, after an additional seventy-two hours, the time comes to try it. I crack the seal on the bottle, leaning over to smell what I assume will be a tangy, fruity, delicious pomegranate solution. and it smells like rotten eggs. The insufferable stench fills my nostrils and crushes my confidence. I'm momentarily taken aback, unable to understand how I went wrong when I followed the recipe perfectly.
My issue wasn't misreading the recipe or failing to follow a rule, it was bypassing my creative instincts and forgetting the unpredictable nature of fermentation. I needed to trust the creative side of kombucha— the side that takes people's perfectionist energy and explodes it into a puddle of rotten egg smelling 'booch (my preferred name for the drink- not "fermented, effervescent liquid from a symbiotic culture of acetic acid bacteria and yeast"). I was too caught up in the side that requires extreme preciseness to notice when the balance between perfectionism and imperfectionism was being thrown off. The key, I have learned, is knowing when to prioritize following the recipe and when to let myself be creative. Sure, there are scientific variables such as proximity to heat sources and how many grams of sugar to add. But, there's also person-dependent variables like how long I decide to ferment it, what fruits I decide will be a fun combination, and which friend I got my first SCOBY from (taking "symbiotic" to a new level).
I often find myself feeling pressured to choose one side or the other, one extreme over the alternative. I've been told that I can either be a meticulous scientist or a messy artist, but to be both is an unacceptable contradiction. However, I choose a grey area; a place where I can channel my creativity into the sciences, as well as channel my precision into my photography.
I still have the first photo I ever took on the first camera I ever had. Or rather, the first camera I ever made. Making that pinhole camera was truly a painstaking process: take a cardboard box, tap it shut, and poke a hole in it. Okay, maybe it wasn't that hard. But learning the exact process of taking and developing a photo in its simplest form, the science of it, is what drove me to pursue photography. I remember being so unhappy with the photo I took; it was faded, underexposed, and imperfect. For years, I felt incredibly pressured to try and perfect my photography. It wasn't until I was defeated, staring at a puddle of kombucha, that I realized that there doesn't always have to be a standard of perfection in my art, and that excited me.
So, am I a perfectionist? Or do I crave pure spontaneity and creativity? Can I be both?
Perfectionism leaves little to be missed. With a keen eye, I can quickly identify my mistakes and transform them into something with purpose and definitude. On the other hand, imperfection is the basis for change and for growth. My resistance against perfectionism is what has allowed me to learn to move forward by seeing the big picture; it has opened me to new experiences, like bacteria cross-culturing to create something new, something different, something better. I am not afraid of change or adversity, though perhaps I am afraid of conformity. To fit the mold of perfection would compromise my creativity, and I am not willing to make that sacrifice.
THE "MOMENTS WHERE THE SECONDS STAND STILL" COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE
Montage Essay, “Other/Advanced” type
I hold onto my time as dearly as my Scottish granny holds onto her money. I’m careful about how I spend it and fearful of wasting it. Precious minutes can show someone I care and can mean the difference between accomplishing a goal or being too late to even start and my life depends on carefully budgeting my time for studying, practicing with my show choir, and hanging out with my friends. However, there are moments where the seconds stand still.
It is already dark when I park in my driveway after a long day at school and rehearsals. I can’t help but smile when I see my dog Kona bounce with excitement, then slide across the tile floor to welcome me as I open the door. I run with him into my parent’s bedroom, where my mom, dad, and sister are waiting for me. We pile onto my parents’ bed to talk about what’s going on in our lives, plan our next trip to the beach, tell jokes, and “spill tea.” They help me see challenges with a realistic perspective, grounding me in what matters. Not paying attention to the clock, I allow myself to relax for a brief moment in my busy life.
Laughter fills the show choir room as my teammates and I pass the time by telling bad jokes and breaking out in random bursts of movement. Overtired, we don’t even realize we’re entering the fourth hour of rehearsal. This same sense of camaraderie follows us onstage, where we become so invested in the story we are portraying we lose track of time. My show choir is my second family. I realize I choreograph not for recognition, but to help sixty of my best friends find their footing. At the same time, they help me find my voice.
The heavy scuba gear jerks me under the icy water, and exhilaration washes over me. Lost in the meditative rolling effect of the tide and the hum of the vast ocean, I feel present. I dive deeper to inspect a vibrant community of creatures, and we float together, carefree and synchronized. My fascination with marine life led me to volunteer as an exhibit interpreter for the Aquarium of the Pacific, where I share my love for the ocean. Most of my time is spent rescuing animals from small children and, in turn, keeping small children from drowning in the tanks. I’ll never forget the time when a visiting family and I were so involved in discussing ocean conservation that, before I knew it, an hour had passed. Finding this mutual connection over the love of marine life and the desire to conserve the ocean environment keeps me returning each summer.
“Why don’t we have any medical supplies?” The thought screams through my mind as I carry a sobbing girl on my back across campus in search of an ice pack and ankle wrap. She had just fallen while performing, and I could relate to the pain and fear in her eyes. The chaos of the show becomes distant, and I devote my time to bringing her relief, no matter how long it may take. I find what I need to treat her injury in the sports medicine training room. I didn’t realize she would be the first of many patients I would tend to in this training room. Since then, I’ve launched a sports medicine program to provide care to the 500-person choir program.
Saturday morning bagels with my family. Singing backup for Barry Manilow with my choir. Swimming with sea turtles in the Pacific. Making my teammate smile even though he’s in pain. These are the moments I hold onto, the ones that define who I am, and who I want to be. For me, time isn’t just seconds ticking by on a clock, it’s how I measure what matters.
THE "IDENTIFYING AS TRANS" COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE
Narrative Essay, “Challenges” Type
“Mommy I can’t see myself.”
I was six when I first refused/rejected girl’s clothing, eight when I only wore boy’s clothing, and fifteen when I realized why. When gifted dresses I was told to “smile and say thank you” while Spiderman shirts took no prompting from me, I’d throw my arms around the giver and thank them. My whole life has been others invading my gender with their questions, tears signed by my body, and a war against my closet. Fifteen years and I finally realized why, this was a girl’s body, and I am a boy.
Soon after this, I came out to my mom. I explained how lost I felt, how confused I was, how “I think I’m Transgender.” It was like all those years of being out of place had led to that moment, my truth, the realization of who I was. My mom cried and said she loved me.
The most important factor in my transition was my mom’s support. She scheduled me an appointment with a gender therapist, let me donate my female clothes, and helped build a masculine wardrobe. With her help, I went on hormones five months after coming out and got surgery a year later. I finally found myself, and my mom fought for me, her love was endless. Even though I had friends, writing, and therapy, my strongest support was my mother.
On August 30th, 2018 my mom passed away unexpectedly. My favorite person, the one who helped me become the man I am today, ripped away from me, leaving a giant hole in my heart and in my life.
Life got dull. Learning how to wake up without my mom every morning became routine. Nothing felt right, a constant numbness to everything, and fog brain was my kryptonite. I paid attention in class, I did the work, but nothing stuck. I felt so stupid, I knew I was capable, I could solve a Rubik’s cube in 25 seconds and write poetry, but I felt broken. I was lost, I couldn’t see myself, so stuck on my mother that I fell into an ‘It will never get better’ mindset.
It took over a year to get out of my slump. 25 therapy sessions, over 40 poems, not a single one didn’t mention my mom. I shared my writing at open mics, with friends, and I cried every time. I embraced the pain, the hurt, and eventually, it became the norm. I grew used to not having my mom around.
My mom always wanted to change the world, to fix the broken parts of society. She didn’t get to. Now that I’m in a good place, mentally and physically, I’m going to make that impact. Not just for her, but for me, and all the people who need a support branch as strong as the one my mom gave me.
I’m starting with whats impacted me most of my life, what’s still in front of me, being Transgender in the school system. For my senior project, I am using my story and experience as a young Transgender man to inform local schools, specifically the staff, about the do’s and dont’s of dealing with a Transgender student. I am determined to make sure no one feels as alone as I did. I want to be able to reach people, and use motivational speaking as the platform.
After experiencing many twists and turns in my life, I’m finally at a good spot. I know what I want to do with my life, and I know how I’m going to get there.
Mom, I can see myself now. Thank you.
If you’d like to see more sample essays + a guide to “ Should I come out in my personal statement (and if so, how?) ” please check out that link.
THE "iTaylor" COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE
Narrative Essay, Undefined Type
Are you tired of seeing an iPhone everywhere? Samsung glitchy? It’s time for a change. I present to you, the iTaylor. I am the iTaylor. On the outside, I look like any smart phone, but when you open my settings and explore my abilities, you will find I have many unique features.
The iTaylor’s best feature is its built-in optimism. Thanks to my positivity, I was chosen to give the morning announcements freshman year. Now, I am the alarm clock for the 1,428 students of Fox Lane High School. For the past three years, I have been starting everyone’s morning with a bubbly, “Good morning, foxes!” and ending with “Have a marvelous Monday,” “Terrific Tuesday” or “Phenomenal Friday!” My adjective-a-day keeps people listening, gives me conversation starters with faculty, and solicits fun suggestions from my friends.
Next up, language settings. I’ve worked hard to be bilingual so the iTaylor can be set to either English or Spanish. Fun fact: In middle school, I set my phone to Spanish so that messages like “ Alexis te envió un mensaje en Instagram ,” would increase my fluency. I learned nuances of the language by watching Spanish sitcoms like Siete Vidas and Spanish movies like Como Agua Para Chocolate . I appreciate the emphasis Spanish culture places on relationships, the way siblings take care of each other, and how grandparents’ wisdom is valued. Inspired, I began creating family events and even making efforts to grow closer to my second cousins.
At eight years old, I was diagnosed with what some might call a glitch: epilepsy. Fortunately, a new IOS software update cured my condition by the age of 15, but through epilepsy, I gained a love of exploration. Whereas at 10, I couldn’t bathe without supervision, I now enjoy snorkeling in unknown waters. While at 11, I couldn’t be left alone with my friends, I now explore the subways, crowded streets, and Broadway shows of New York City. Overcoming epilepsy taught me to take risks and explore new places.
This brings us to the iTaylor location settings. Two summers ago, I travelled to Ecuador to live with a friend’s family and teach Spanish theater to third graders. The experience implanted a “cookie” in me, filling me with a desire to learn about different cultures. I brought this desire home to a volunteer position at a local program for immigrant children. I helped the kids make presentations about their places of origin, including Mexico, Guatemala, and Honduras. Also, as resident tour guide and ambassador for exchange students at my school, I’ve discovered North African fusion music from Selima, learned German slang from Henrike, and helped Saidimar prepare his Mr.Sulu campaign, a regional pageant in the Philippines. It became clear that the English language, one I took for granted, is the central feature that brings groups together.
This past summer, I brought my talents to Scotland, playing the dual role of Artistic Director and leading character for Geek the Musical . I worked to promote the show in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival against 53,232 shows, reinventing ways to motivate the cast and connect with strangers from all over the world. We learned the more we connected, the more our audience grew. I applied these skills to my leadership positions at home, including my High School Theater Group, Players. I’m now better at creating a marketing strategy that includes door-to-door sales, print advertising, and identifying broader target audiences to fill seats.
The rollout plan for the iTaylor is to introduce it to the theater market. My goal is to use performance and storytelling to expose audiences to different cultures, religions, and points of view. Perhaps if we all learned more about each other's lifestyles, the world would be more empathetic and integrated.
So what do you think? Would you like an iTaylor of your own? The iTaylor College Edition is now available for pre-order. It delivers next fall.
THE "FIGURING OUT WHAT REALLY MATTERED CHALLENGE" COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE
Narrative Essay
"Perfect as the wing of a bird may be, it will never enable the bird to fly if unsupported by the air." --Ivan Pavlov
Upon graduation, I will be able to analyze medieval Spanish poems using literary terms and cultural context, describe the electronegativity trends on the periodic table, and identify when to use logarithmic differentiation to simplify a derivative problem. Despite knowing how to execute these very particular tasks, I currently fail to understand how to change a tire, how to do my taxes efficiently, or how to obtain a good insurance policy. A factory-model school system that has been left essentially unchanged for nearly a century has been the driving force in my educational development.
I have been conditioned to complete tasks quickly, efficiently, and with an advanced understanding. I measured my self-worth as my ability to outdo my peers academically, thinking my scores were the only aspect that defined me; and they were. I was getting everything right. Then, I ran for Student Government and failed. Rejection. I didn’t even make it past the first round of cuts. How could that be? I was statistically a smart kid with a good head on my shoulders, right? Surely someone had to have made a mistake. Little did I know, this was my first exposure to meaning beyond numbers.
As I was rejected from StuGo for the second year in a row, I discovered I had been wrongfully measuring my life through numbers--my football statistics, my test scores, my age, my height (I’m short). I had the epiphany that oh wait, maybe it was my fault that I had never prioritized communication skills, or open-mindedness (qualities my fellow candidates possessed). Maybe it was me. That must be why I always had to be the one to approach people during my volunteer hours at the public library to offer help--no one ever asked me for it. I resolved to alter my mindset, taking a new approach to the way I lived. From now on I would emphasize qualitative experiences over quantitative skills.
I had never been more uncomfortable. I forced myself to learn to be vulnerable by asking questions even if I was terrified of being wrong. My proficiency in using data evidence could not teach me how to communicate with young children at church, nor could my test scores show me how to be more open to criticism. The key to all of these skills, I was to discover, happened to be learning from those around me. Turns out, I couldn’t do everything by myself.
The process of achieving this new mindset came through the cultivation of relationships. I became fascinated by the new perspectives each person in my life could offer if I really took the time to connect. Not only did I improve my listening skills, but I began to consider the big-picture consequences my engagements could have. People interpret situations differently due to their own cultural contexts, so I had to learn to pay more attention to detail to understand every point of view. I took on the state of what I like to call collaborative independence, and to my delight, I was elected to StuGo after my third year of trying.
Not long ago, I would have fallen apart at the presence of any uncertainty. As I further accept and advance new life skills, the more I realize how much remains uncertain in the world. After all, it is quite possible my future job doesn’t exist yet, and that’s okay. I can’t conceivably plan out my entire life at the age of 17, but what I can do is prepare myself to take on the unknown, doing my best to accompany others. Hopefully, my wings continue enabling me to fly, but it is going to take more than just me and my wings; I have to continue putting my faith in the air around me.
THE "PARENTS' RELATIONSHIP" COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE
Narrative Essay, “Challenge” Type
My mom opened Kanishka’s Gastropub in 2013. I was ecstatic. We would become the first Mother-Son Indian duo on Food Network peeling potatoes, skinning chicken, and grinding spices, sharing our Bengali recipes with the world.
However, the restaurant tore apart my parent’s relationship. Two years after opening, my dad started coming home late most nights, plastered from “happy hour with work colleagues.” My mom, trying to balance her day job at Kaiser and owning a restaurant, poured her stress on me,“What the hell is wrong with you! Always watching YouTube and never talking!”
The worst time came when my parents tried to fix their relationship. Repeated date nights induced more arguments. Enduring the stress of her restaurant, my father, and her mistakes, my mom attempted to end her life. Fortunately, I found her just in time.
Over the next two years, things were at times still hard, but gradually improved. My parents decided to start anew, took some time apart, then got back together. My mom started to pick me up from activities on time and my dad and I bonded more, watching Warriors and 49ers games.
But at times I still had to emotionally support my mom to avoid sudden India trips, or put my siblings to bed if my parents weren’t home at night. Over time, I found it difficult being my family’s glue. I wanted back the family I had before the restaurant--the one that ate Luchi Mongsho together every Sunday night.
So I looked for comfort in creation. I began spending more time in our garage , carefully constructing planes from sheets of foam. I found purpose balancing the fuselage or leveling the ailerons to precisely 90 degrees. I loved cutting new parts and assembling them perfectly. Here , I could fix all the mistakes.
In high school, I slowly began to forge a community of creators with my peers. Sophomore year, I started an engineering club and found that I had a talent for managing people and encouraging them to create an idea even if it failed. I also learned how to take feedback and become more resilient. Here, I could nerd-out about warp drives and the possibility of anti-matter without being ignored. I would give a weekly report on new technology and we would have hour-long conversations about the various uses a blacker material could have.
While building a community at school rebuilt my confidence, I still found I enjoyed being alone at times. While driving in my car, I’d let my mind wander to movies like Big Hero Six and contemplate if a zero-friction bike really was possible. I’d create ideas like an AI highway system that tells drivers exactly when to switch lanes based on timing and calculus to prevent braking from nearby cars. Or I’d blueprint a new classroom with interactive desks, allowing students to dive deep into historical events like a VR game. I found outlining complex ideas like these sometimes provide insights into something I’m researching or could one day materialize into future projects.
Looking back (and perhaps inadvertently), the conflicts from the restaurant days have taught me valuable lessons. Helping my mom through her relationship taught me to watch out for those in emotional distress. Spending nights alone made me more independent--after all, it was then that I signed up for advanced math and programming courses and decided to apply for software internships. Most of all, seeing my mom start her restaurant from no food-industry experience inspired me to found two clubs and a Hydrogen Car Team.
Even though we eat Luchi Monsho on a monthly basis now, I know my family will never be the way it was. My mom and I won’t become a Food Network mother-son duo. I can’t fix all the mistakes. But I can use them to improve the present.
THE "THREATENED BY ISIS" COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE
In 8th grade while doing a school project I Googled my dad's name and it came up in US military documents posted on the Snowden/NSA documents on WikiLeaks. I stayed up all night reading through documents related to Army support contracts in Iraq and Kuwait in 2003. I asked my dad about it the next day and he said, "It was a mistake I made that has been resolved." Turns out it hadn't been.
Saudi Arabia in the 2000s wasn’t the most ideal place to grow up. I was always scared of terrorist groups such as al-Qaeda. My school was part of the US Consulate in Dhahran, and when I was in the 8th grade it was threatened by ISIS. Violence has always surrounded me and haunted me.
After 14 years of living in a region destroyed by violence, I was sent away to boarding school in a region known for peace, Switzerland. That year my father was found guilty and imprisoned for the charges related to his Army support contract. I felt as if I was Edgar in Shakespeare’s King Lear and this could not get worse, but yet it did.
My parents got divorced and my childhood home was bulldozed to the ground by the Saudi government after my father was sent to prison. My mom had always been a hub of stability, but she was too overwhelmed to support me. I started eating to cope with my anxiety and gained 100 pounds in a year and a half. As I gained weight, my health started to deteriorate, and my grades started to drop.
Things began to change at the beginning of my sophomore year, however, when I met my new roommate, Nico. He had grown up with someone whose father was also in prison, and was able to help me better understand the issues I was facing. Through my friendship with Nico, I learned how to open up and get support from my friends.
I started to make new friends with more people at my school and was surprised to find out that 90% of their parents were divorced. Because we faced similar issues, we were able to support one and other, share tactics, and give advice. One of my friends, John, gave me advice on how to help my mother emotionally by showing her love, something I hadn’t been able to do before. My friends gave me a family and a home, when my own family was overwhelmed and my home was gone.
Slowly, I put my life back on track. I started playing basketball, began working on a CubeSAT, learned to program, changed my diet, and lost all the weight I had gained.
Now my friends in Switzerland come to me asking me for advice and help, and I feel as if I am a vital member of our community. My close friend Akshay recently started stressing about whether his parents were going to get divorced. With John’s advice, I started checking in on Akshay, spending more time with him, and coaching him before and after he talked to his parents.
Leaving home in the beginning of my adolescence, I was sent out on a path of my own. While for some, high school is the best time of their lives, for me, high school has represented some of the best and, hopefully, worst times. Even with the struggles I’ve faced with my family, I am grateful for this path. It has brought me to a place that I only thought was fictional. In this new place I feel like a real person, with real emotions. This place is somewhere where I can express myself freely and be who I want to be. I am a much stronger, healthier, and more resilient person than I was two years ago. While it hasn’t been easy, I am glad to be where I am today.
For a ton of UC Essay Examples, head to my blog post here.
Supplemental essay examples, uchicago: the "why did the chicken cross the road" essay.
This essay was written for the U of Chicago "Create your own prompt" essay. The author included the following explanatory note:
I plan to double major in biochemistry and English and my main essay explains my passion for the former; here is a writing sample that illustrates my enthusiasm for the latter.
In my AP Literature class, my teacher posed a question to which students had to write a creative response. My response is framed around the ideas of Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave.”
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: A manicured green field of grass blades cut to perfectly matched lengths; a blue expanse ornamented with puffy cotton clouds; an immaculately painted red barn centered exactly at the top of a hill--the chicken gazes contentedly at his picturesque world. Within an area surrounded by a shiny silver fence, he looks around at his friends: roosters pecking at a feast of grains and hens lounging on luxurious cushions of hay. As the nice man in a plaid shirt and blue jeans collects the hens’ eggs, the chicken feels an overwhelming sense of indebtedness to him for providing this idyllic lifestyle.
On a day as pristine as all the others, the chicken is happily eating his lunchtime meal as the nice man carefully gathers the smooth white eggs when it notices that the man has left one behind. Strangely located at the empty end of the metal enclosure, highlighted by the bright yellow sun, the white egg appears to the chicken different from the rest. The chicken moves towards the light to tacitly inform the man of his mistake. But then the chicken notices a jagged gray line on the otherwise flawless egg. Hypnotized and appalled, the chicken watches as the line turns into a crack and a small beak attached to a fuzzy yellow head pokes out. Suddenly a shadow descends over the chicken and the nice man snatches the egg--the baby chick--and stomps off.
The chicken--confused, betrayed, disturbed--slowly lifts its eyes from the now empty ground. For the first time, it looks past the silver fence of the cage and notices an unkempt sweep of colossal brown and green grasses opposite its impeccably crafted surroundings. Cautiously, it inches closer to the barrier, farther from the unbelievable perfection of the farm, and discovers a wide sea of black gravel. Stained with gray stones and marked with yellow lines, it separates the chicken from the opposite field.
The curious chicken quickly shuffles to Mother Hen, who has just settled on to her throne of hay and is closing her eyes. He is sure that the always composed and compassionate chicken will help him make sense of what he’s just seen.
“Mother Hen, Mother Hen! I-I just saw one of those eggs, cracking, and there was a small yellow bird inside. It was a baby. Are those eggs that the nice man takes away babies? And that black ground! What is it?” the chicken blurts out.
Her eyes flick open. “BOK BOK! Don’t you ever dare speak of what you have seen again,” Mother Hen snaps in a low and violent whisper, “or all of this will be taken away.” Closing her eyes again, she dismisses the chicken.
Frozen in disbelief, the chicken tries to make sense of her harsh words. It replays the incident in its head. “All the food, the nice soft hay, the flawless red barn--maybe all of this isn’t worth giving up. Maybe Mother Hen is right. She just wants to protect me from losing it all.” The chicken replays the incident again. “But it was a baby. What if it was hers? She still wouldn’t care. She’s being selfish; all she cares about is this perfect life.” A final replay, and the chicken realizes and accepts that Mother Hen knows, has known, that the man is doing something wrong; yet she has yielded to the cruelty for her own comfort. A fissure in the chicken’s unawareness, a plan begins to hatch. The chicken knows it must escape; it has to get to the other side.
“That man in the plaid shirt is stealing the eggs from their mothers again,” the chicken thinks the next day as he unlocks the cage. Then the man reaches into the wooden coop, his back to the entrance. “Now!” At its own cue, the chicken scurries towards the opening and exits unseen. With a backwards glance at his friends, the chicken feels a profound sadness and pity for their ignorance. It wants to urge them to open their eyes, to see what they are sacrificing for materialistic pleasures, but he knows they will not surrender the false reality. Alone, the chicken dashes away.
The chicken stands at the line between green grass and black gravel. As it prepares to take its first step into the unknown, a monstrous vehicle with 18 wheels made of metal whizzes by, leaving behind a trail of gray exhaust. Once it regains its breath, it moves a few inches onto the asphalt. Three more speeding trucks stop its chicken heart.
“I can’t do this,” it says to itself. “These monsters are a sign. They’re telling me to go back. Besides, a few lost chicks aren’t so bad. The man’s not that evil. He gives us food, and a home.”
But the chicken dismisses the cowardly voice in its head, reminding itself of the injustice back in the deceptively charming prison. Over the next several hours, it learns to strategically position itself so that it is in line with the empty space between the tires of passing trucks. It reaches the yellow dashes. A black blanket gradually pushes away the glowing sun and replaces it with diamond stars and a glowing crescent. It reaches the untouched field.
With a deep breath, the chicken steps into the swathe, a world of tall beige grass made brown by the darkness. Unsure of what it may discover, it determines to simply walk straight through the brush, out on to the other side. For what seems like forever, it continues forward, as the black sky turns to purple, then blue, then pink. Just as the chicken begins to regret its journey, the grass gives way to a vast landscape of trees, bushes, flowers--heterogeneous and variable, but nonetheless perfect. In a nearby tree, the chicken spots two adult birds tending to a nest of babies--a natural dynamic of individuals unaltered by corrupt influence.
And then it dawns on him. It has escaped from a contrived and perverted domain as well as its own unawareness; it has arrived in a place where the pure order of the world reigns.
“I know the truth now,” it thinks to himself as the sun rises. “But here, in Nature, it is of no use. Back home, I need to try to foster awareness among my friends, share this understanding with them. Otherwise, I am as cruel as the man in the plaid shirt, taking away the opportunity to overcome ignorance.”
“I must return now; I have to get to the other side.”
For more, here’s a guide to the U Chicago supplemental essays , and an in-depth guide to U Chicago’s extended essay .
We also analyze why we think this essay works in The Complete Guide , Session 6.
The "Rock, Paper, Scissors" UChicago Supplemental Essay Example
Essay written for the University of Chicago prompt, which gives you the option to create your own prompt..
Prompt: Dear Christian, the admissions staff at the University of Chicago would like to inform you that your application has been “put on the line.” We have one spot left and can’t decide if we should admit you or another equally qualified applicant. To resolve the matter, please choose one of the following:
Rock, paper, or scissors.
You will be notified of our decision shortly.
Rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper, and paper beats rock. Wait... paper beats rock? Since when has a sheet of loose leaf paper ever defeated a solid block of granite? Do we assume that the paper wraps around the rock, smothering the rock into submission? When exposed to paper, is rock somehow immobilized, unable to fulfill its primary function of smashing scissors? What constitutes defeat between two inanimate objects?
Maybe it’s all a metaphor for larger ideals. Perhaps paper is rooted in the symbolism of diplomacy while rock suggests coercion. But does compromise necessarily trump brute force? And where do scissors lie in this chain of symbolism?
I guess the reasoning behind this game has a lot to do with context. If we are to rationalize the logic behind this game, we have to assume some kind of narrative, an instance in which paper might beat rock. Unfortunately, I can’t argue for a convincing one.
As with rock-paper-scissors, we often cut our narratives short to make the games we play easier, ignoring the intricate assumptions that keep the game running smoothly. Like rock-paper-scissors, we tend to accept something not because it’s true, but because it’s the convenient route to getting things accomplished. We accept incomplete narratives when they serve us well, overlooking their logical gaps. Other times, we exaggerate even the smallest defects and uncertainties in narratives we don’t want to deal with. In a world where we know very little about the nature of “Truth,” it’s very easy—and tempting—to construct stories around truth claims that unfairly legitimize or delegitimize the games we play.
Or maybe I’m just making a big deal out of nothing...
Fine. I’ll stop with the semantics and play your game.
But who actually wants to play a game of rock-paper-scissors? After all, isn’t it just a game of random luck, requiring zero skill and talent? That’s no way to admit someone!
Studies have shown that there are winning strategies to rock-paper-scissors by making critical assumptions about those we play against before the round has even started. Douglas Walker, host of the Rock-Paper-Scissors World Championships (didn’t know that existed either), conducted research indicating that males will use rock as their opening move 50% of the time, a gesture Walker believes is due to rock’s symbolic association with strength and force. In this sense, the seemingly innocuous game of rock-paper-scissors has revealed something quite discomforting about gender-related dispositions in our society. Why did so many males think that brute strength was the best option? If social standards have subliminally influenced the way males and females play rock-paper-scissors, than what is to prevent such biases from skewing more important decisions? Should your decision to go to war or to feed the hungry depend on your gender, race, creed, etc?
Perhaps the narratives I spoke of earlier, the stories I mistakenly labeled as “semantics,” carry real weight in our everyday decisions. In the case of Walker’s study, men unconsciously created an irrational narrative around an abstract rock. We all tell slightly different narratives when we independently consider notions ranging from rocks to war to existence. It is ultimately the unconscious gaps in these narratives that are responsible for many of the man-made problems this world faces. In order for the “life of the mind” to be a worthwhile endeavor, we must challenge the unconscious narratives we attach to the larger games we play—the truths we tell (or don’t tell), the lessons we learn (or haven’t really learned), the people we meet (or haven’t truly met).
But even after all of this, we still don’t completely understand the narrative behind rock-paper-scissors.
I guess it all comes down to who actually made this silly game in the first place... I’d like to think it was some snotty 3rd grader, but then again, that’s just another incomplete narrative.
U of Michigan Supplemental Essay Example
The "east meets west" example essay.
This was written for the U. of Michigan supplemental "community" essay prompt, then adapted for a (no longer existent) essay for Brown. The Michigan prompt reads:
Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it.
Here's the essay:
I look around my room, dimly lit by an orange light. On a desk in the left corner, a framed picture of an Asian family is beaming their smiles, buried among US history textbooks and The Great Gatsby. A Korean ballad streams from a pair of tiny computer speakers. Pamphlets of American colleges are scattered about on the floor. A cold December wind wafts a strange infusion of ramen and leftover pizza. On the wall in the far back, a Korean flag hangs besides a Led Zeppelin poster.
Do I consider myself Korean or American?
A few years back, I would have replied: “Neither.” The frustrating moments of miscommunication, the stifling homesickness, and the impossible dilemma of deciding between the Korean or American table in the dining hall, all fueled my identity crisis.
Standing in the “Foreign Passports” section at JFK, I have always felt out of place. Sure, I held a Korean passport in my hands, and I loved kimchi and Yuna Kim and knew the Korean Anthem by heart. But I also loved macaroni and cheese and LeBron and knew all the Red Hot Chili Peppers songs by heart. Deep inside, I feared that I would simply be labeled as what I am categorized at airport customs: a foreigner in all places.
This ambiguity of existence, however, has granted me the opportunity to absorb the best of both worlds. Take a look at my dorm room. This mélange of cultures in my East-meets-West room embodies the diversity that characterizes my international student life.
I have learned to accept my “ambiguity” as “diversity,” as a third-culture student embracing both identities in this diverse community that I am blessed to be a part of.
Now, I can proudly answer: “Both.”

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How to Write an Essay Introduction?
16 January, 2021
8 minutes read
Author: Elizabeth Brown
You have been assigned to write an essay but you’re not quite sure how to get started. Don’t worry, after reading this introduction, you will have a better grasp on what you should do. The introduction of an essay is the first thing that a reader will see, so it can influence how your entire essay is received. Be sure to take your time to make it effective. Before you start, you should first identify the purpose of your introduction.

Why do I Need an Introduction Paragraph?
You’re writing an introduction to your essay for two reasons. First, its purpose is to hook your readers so that they will read on and see what you have to say. Second, it will provide a guideline for your topic and main argument, known as the thesis statement. Your first sentences should pull the readers in – this is the hook that tells your readers something they didn’t know before. It can be an interesting fact, a surprising statistic, or a quote from a well-known person. Basically, it can be anything that has the ability to catch your readers’ attention. Choose the right hook based on your topic and style. Your readers need enough information to understand the background of your essay. Make sure, however, to keep it short, too, not to lose their interest. Your thesis statement, on the other hand, should provide an answer to the main problem of your essay.

How Long Should an Essay Introduction Be?
This depends on the overall length of your essay. There is no set rule for how long an introduction should be. For a 2- to a 3-page essay, the appropriate length is usually one paragraph. But in case the overall length of your essay is more, for example, 4−5 pages, two paragraphs is considered more appropriate. A general rule is that your introduction should be between 5 and 10 percent of the overall length of your essay.
How to Write a Good Essay Introduction?
Being able to write a good essay is an essential skill for your future. As many as 80 percents of corporations with employment growth potential assess their applicants’ writing skills during the hiring process.
To write a good introduction paragraph, you need to first identify your audience. You want your essay to evoke emotions and to keep your readers interested from start to finish. Before you can do that, you need to know who your readers are. If you’re writing an essay as a class assignment, you don’t necessarily have to write for your instructor. Choose your audience based on the subject matter of your essay. For example, if you’re writing an essay about career paths, you may want to identify students and young professionals as your target audience. Your target audience determines what information you should include and what you can leave out.
To make the introduction of your essay effective, you can appeal to your readers’ emotions. This is a good strategy, especially when writing a persuasive essay introduction about a personal topic. It will help you get your audience emotionally involved in the topic. For example, if you’re writing an essay about foreign aid, you can describe the tragedy of undernourished children to evoke some emotions in your readers. Another strategy is to ask thought-provoking questions. This way, you will draw your readers in by making them think about your subject matter. As long as these questions are intriguing enough, your readers will want to find out the answers.

Move From the General to the Specific
Perhaps you have heard of the upside-down pyramid. Place your hook at the top, and use 2 to 3 sentences to describe the wider context of your thesis. You should try to make each sentence more specific than the one before it. For example, if you’re writing an essay about the crimes committed by refugees, you could start with an anecdote about a victim of these crimes. Then you could provide statistics about the problem in a specific country, and finally narrow it down to a particular age group or social group.
Make a Smooth Transition to the Body
In many cases, you can move straight from your introduction to the first paragraph of your body. Sometimes, however, you may need a transition sentence to move naturally to the rest of your essay. You can test whether you need this transition sentence by reading your introduction and the first paragraph of your body out loud. If you find yourself pausing between the two paragraphs, it’s better to write a transition sentence.
Pay Attention to Your Structure
Keep in mind that it’s not necessary to write the introduction first. In fact, it’s often easier to write it after writing the body and conclusion. On the other hand, others find it convenient to write the introduction first and use it as an outline for the rest of the essay.
While your introduction needs to be short, it should also convey a lot of information. The first sentence is your hook that catches your readers’ attention. The next sentences build a bridge between your hook and the general topic of your essay. The ending sentence of your introduction should include your thesis statement or points that you will discuss in more detail in the body and which support the main argument of your essay.

Remember to Revise
This is important for those who prefer to write their introduction first. Since it’s not uncommon to deviate from your outline, make sure that your introduction is in line with your completed essay. Make every sentence count and remove any unnecessary parts.
In case you’re struggling to find the time for your essay, you can always contact our essay writer . We have been in the business long enough to know the ins and outs of a perfect essay. Save your time and let us ease your burden.
Check Some Essay Introduction Examples
Now that you know the theory behind writing an effective essay introduction, it’s time to see things in practice. Samples are useful for learning how to put all the information into action. Check the samples below to figure out what your introduction should look like.
Argumentative Essay Introduction
In an argumentative essay introduction, you should present your own personal opinion on the topic based on your evaluation which you will present in the body.

You can also check this argumentative essay sample.
Persuasive Essay Introduction
Persuasive essay introduction also should attempt to convince readers to believe in an idea or opinion. It needs to showcase some personal attitude to the topic.

You can also check more in-depth instructions for writing a persuasive essay.
Compare and Contrast Essay Introduction
A compare and contrast essay introduction should describe two sides of a problem. It’s easier to consider two very different things. You can start with a brief description of the problem and then move on to talk about the two things.

You can also check topic ideas for your compare and contrast essay.

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Intro Essay Examples 2021 See Guide on Writing a Good Essay Intro
Intro Essay Examples: A good essay begins with a good intro. The purpose of an introduction in an essay is to give your reader a clear idea of what your essay will cover. Thus, in this article, you shall read some essays with intro essay examples. The aim is to give you a better clue of what we are talking about.
As such, it should provide some background information on the specific problem or issue you are addressing. And should clearly outline your answer. Also, when writing an introduction, note. You should typically use a ‘general to specific’ structure.
Key Points to Note About Essay Intro
Before looking at some intro essay examples , please note. Below are some key points to note about the intro essay :
- The first sentence should be engaging and relevant.
- Also, the topic should be introduced with necessary background information.
- Furthermore, important terms should be defined.
- Additionally, the thesis statement must clearly show the essay’s focus.
- Lastly, everything in the introduction should be relevant to the main body of the essay.
The Necessity of an Essay Intro
Before looking at some intro essay examples , please note. The introduction of your essay serves two important purposes. First, it gets your reader interested in the topic. And it encourages them to read what you have to say about it.
Also, secondly, it gives your reader a road map of what you’re going to say. And the overarching point you’re going to make – your thesis statement.
Furthermore, a powerful introduction grabs your reader’s attention. And keeps them reading.
Writing a Good Essay Intro
Before looking at some intro essay examples , please note. Below are tips on writing a good essay introduction:
- Identify Your Audience
The first sentence or two of your introduction should pull the reader in. You want anyone reading your essay to be fascinated, intrigued, or even outraged. You can’t do this if you don’t know who your likely readers are.
Thus, if you’re writing a paper for a class, don’t automatically assume your instructor is your audience. Also, if you write directly to your instructor, you’ll end up glossing over some information that is necessary to show that you properly understand the subject of your essay.
Thus, it can be helpful to reverse-engineer your audience based on the subject matter of your essay .
Use the Element of Surprise
A startling or shocking statistic can grab your audience’s attention. And this is by immediately teaching them something they didn’t know. Thus, having learned something new in the first sentence, people will be interested to see where you go next.
Also, for this hook to be effective, note. Your fact needs to be sufficiently surprising. If you’re not sure, test it on a few friends. If they react by expressing shock or surprise, you know you’ve got something good.
Furthermore, use a fact or statistic that sets up your essay. And not something you’ll be using as evidence to prove your thesis statement.

- Tug at Your Reader’s Heart-Strings
Particularly with personal or political essays , note. Use your hook to get your reader emotionally involved in the subject matter of your story. You can do this by describing a related hardship or tragedy.
- Ask a Thought-Provoking Question
If you’re writing a persuasive essay , note. Consider using a relevant question to draw your reader in. And get them actively thinking about the subject of your essay.
- Avoid Cliches and Generalizations
Generalizations and cliches, even if presented to contrast with your point, won’t help your essay. As a matter of fact, in most cases, they’ll actually hurt by making you look like an unoriginal or lazy writer.
Thus, avoid broad and sweeping generalizations. This is because they may ring false with some readers and alienate them from the start.
- Relate Your Hook to a Larger Topic
The next part of your introduction explains to your reader how that hook connects to the rest of your essay. Start with a broader, more general scope to explain your hook’s relevance.
Thus, use an appropriate transitional word or phrase, such as “however” or “similarly,” to move from your specific anecdote back out to a broader scope.
Intro Essay Examples
The following are some of the intro essay examples:
The Natural Kinship of Rats and Pumpkins According to Paul Ratsmith, the tenuous, but nonetheless important, relationship between pumpkins and rats is little understood: “While I’ve always been fascinated by this natural kinship, the connection between pumpkins and rats has been the subject of few, if any, other studies” (2008). Ratsmith has been studying this connection, something he coined “pumpkinology,” since the early 1990s. He is most well-known for documenting the three years he spent living in the wild among the pumpkins and rats. Though it is a topic of little recent interest, the relationship has been noted in several ancient texts and seems to have been well understood by the Romans. Critics of Ratsmith have cited poor science and questionable methodology when dismissing his results, going so far as to call pumpkinology “rubbish” (de Vil, 2009), “stupid” (Claw, 2010), and “quite possibly made up” (Igthorn, 2009). Despite these criticisms, there does appear to be a strong correlation between pumpkin patches and rat populations, with Ratsmith documenting numerous pumpkin–rat colonies across North America, leading to the conclusion that pumpkins and rats are indeed “nature’s best friends” (2008). SOURCE?: CLICK HERE

This introduction example is taken from our interactive essay example on the history of Braille. The invention of Braille marked a major turning point in the history of disability. The writing system of raised dots, widely used by blind and visually impaired people, was developed by Louis Braille in nineteenth-century France. Although it initially met with resistance from sighted people, Braille eventually became central to blind people’s education and autonomy, giving them unprecedented access to cultural activities and social participation. The idea of tactile reading was not entirely new; Braille adapted and simplified existing methods to create the first writing system specifically for blind people. But its success depended on acceptance among sighted people before the social status of blindness could truly be transformed, and this process was shaped by broader debates about disabled people’s place in society. SOURCE?: CLICK HERE
From the above, note. With the above information, all you need to do is to give it a try. You can come up with a unique intro for your essay .
Tags : essay introduction paragraph , good introduction examples , good introduction paragraph examples
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How to start a reflective essay + Introduction Examples

When you are assigned a reflective essay , one of the hardest things to do is to come up with a good introduction. A good introduction sets the tone for your essay and engages your reader. It is important to make your introduction interesting so that your reader will want to keep reading. In this introduction writing guide, we will discuss 5 steps in writing an engaging introduction for your reflective essay!
How to Start a Reflective Essay
Before you start writing a reflective essay, it is important to understand what this type of paper actually is and what it should include.
A reflective essay is a piece of writing that explores your personal thoughts and experiences on a certain subject. In most cases,reflective essays focus on recent events or experiences and how they have affected you.
reflective essay examples
Reflective essay outline, write a nursing reflective essay, personal reflection essay, how to write a reflective journal.
- Reflective Essay Topics & Ideas
When writing about past events, it is important to reflect on how these experiences have shaped your current beliefs and opinions. It is also helpful to consider how these events may have impacted your future choices.
By understanding the purpose of a reflective essay, you will be able to develop an effective and well-organized introduction for your reflective paper.
Here are 4 steps in writing great reflective essay introduction paragraphs:
1. Introduce your topic
Before you can start writing your reflective essay, you need to have something to reflect on. That something is usually an event, a memory, or an experience. Once you have something to work with, you can start introducing your topic. Introducing your topic means more than just saying what it is. It also means giving some context and background information. For example, if you’re writing about a time when you got lost in the city, you might want to provide some information about the city itself. What is it like? What was the weather like that day? How did you feel? By providing this context, you give your readers a better understanding of what happened and why it was significant to you. With that said, there are a few thing yous should avoid doing in your introduction:
- -Don’t give too much detail. You don’t want to bore your reader or ruin the element of surprise.
- -Don’t provide too much background information. As we said, you need to provide some context, but you don’t want to write a whole history lesson.
- -Don’t make it too long. An introduction should be around one paragraph, or around five to seven sentences.
These are just a few tips to keep in mind when introducing your topic. Now let’s move on to the next tip!
2: Make a Thesis Statement
Every essay needs a thesis statement , and a reflective essay is no different. A thesis statement is a one-sentence summary of your essay. It tells the reader what your essay is about and sets the tone for your writing. For example, if you’re writing about a time when you got lost in the city, your thesis statement might be something like this: “That day, I learned that it’s important to always be aware of your surroundings.”
Your thesis statement should be clear, concise, and easy to understand. It should also be arguable, which means that someone could disagree with it. If you’re having trouble coming up with a good thesis statement, try this exercise:
- -Write down everything you want to say about your topic in one sentence.
- -Now, look at that sentence and see if you can make it more concise.
- -Finally, ask yourself if someone could disagree with your statement. If they could, then you have a good thesis statement!
If you can’t seem to come up with a good thesis statement, don’t worry. This is something that you can always revise later on. Now let’s move on to the next tip!
3: Use a Hook
A hook is a way to grab your reader’s attention and make them want to keep reading. There are a few different ways that you can do this, but some of the most common reflective essay hooks include quotes, questions, and statistics .
For example, let’s say you’re writing about a time when you got lost in the city. You could start your essay with a quote like this: “The first rule of thumb is never to go anywhere without knowing where you’re going.” This quote is from the book How to Get Lost by Margaret Atwood. It’s a short and attention-grabbing way to start your essay.
You could also start with a question like this: “Have you ever felt like you’re the only one who knows where you’re going?” This is a good hook because it’s relatable and it will make your readers want to know more.
Finally, you could start with a statistic like this: “According to a study by the American Psychological Association, 60% of people have felt lost at least once in their lives.” This is a good hook because it’s interesting and it will make your readers want to know more.
4. Use descriptive language to set the tone for your essay.
The language that you use in your essay introduction should be reflective of the tone that you want to set. For example, if you’re writing about a time when you got lost in the city, you might want to use descriptive language to set the tone of your essay. You could say something like this: “I was lost in a sea of people, all moving in different directions.” This paints a picture for the reader and sets the tone for your essay.
If you’re not sure what kind of language to use, try this exercise:
- Read over your introduction and highlight any words or phrases that are particularly strong or vivid.
- Now, look at the tone of your essay and see if the language you’ve used reflects that tone.
- If it doesn’t, try to find a way to make it more reflective of the tone you want to set.
Remember, the language you use in your introduction should be reflective of the tone that you want to set for your essay.
5. Create an outline.
Before you begin writing a reflective essay, it’s important to create an outline. This will help you organize your thoughts and structure your essay in a way that is easy to follow.
Here’s a basic outline for a reflective essay:
- Introduction
- Body paragraphs
Now you can start writing your reflective paper based on your teacher’s requirements. Let’s look at a few examples on how to begin a reflective essay effectively.
Reflective essay introduction examples
Here are eight reflective essay introduction paragraph examples that you can use as inspiration for your own writing:
Reflective Essay Introduction Paragraph Example 2:
Topic: A time when you faced a challenge:
“ It was the middle of winter and all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball under my blankets. But I had a paper due for my English class, and no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t make myself start writing. I was about to give up when… ”
Topic: A time when you were proud of yourself:
“ I remember the first time I ever rode a bike. I was so excited, but also really scared. My dad held onto the back of the seat and ran next to me as I pedaled my legs as fast as I could. And then, suddenly, I was riding all by myself. ”
Reflective Essay Introduction Paragraph Example 3:
Topic: A time when you had to make a difficult choice:
“ It was my senior year of high school and I had been accepted to both my dream school and my safety school. I didn’t know what to do. Both schools were amazing, but in different ways. After a lot of thought, I finally made my decision… ”
Reflective Essay Introduction Paragraph Example 4:
Topic: A time when you learned something new:
“ I remember the first day of my cooking class. I was so excited to learn how to cook, but also really nervous. I didn’t know if I would be able to keep up with the other students. But from the very first lesson, I was hooked. ”
Reflective Essay Introduction Paragraph Example 5:
Topic: A time when you failed:
“ I’ll never forget the time I failed my driving test. I was so confident that I was going to pass, but I made a silly mistake and ended up failing. It was really frustrating, but I’m glad that I didn’t give up. ”
Reflective Essay Introduction Paragraph Example 6:
Topic: A time when you were disappointed:
“ I remember the first time I didn’t get the grade I wanted on a test. I had studied so hard, but I still didn’t do as well as I wanted. I was really disappointed in myself, but my mom told me that it wasn’t the end of the world. ”
In conclusion, the introduction paragraph of a reflective essay is very important. You need to make sure that you use descriptive language, set the tone for your essay, and give your readers a good sense of what the essay will be about.
By following these 5 tips, you can write an engaging reflective essay introduction that will set the stage for your entire essay.
Reflective summary essay
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Differences Between American and Chinese Cultures
Introduction.
Contrasting cultures constitute the foundation of many facets of life, and whether variety leads to conflict or success frequently depends on the goals of the leaders of each country. As time goes on, ethnic clusters become more pronounced. In addition, the globalization of technology in our daily lives unifies and dissolves cultural borders. The two most influential nations in the world right now are China and the United States of America. Due to their contrasting historical histories, China and the U.s are sometimes compared as competent older men and youthful guys with vigor and energy, respectively. The distinction between the two nations is, therefore, far more nuanced. Although globalization has brought China and U.s closer together, there are still substantial ideological levels of formalism and dietary disparities between the two countries. In this essay, I will discuss the differences between Chinese and American cultures.
The hierarchy is valued in Chinese culture. Higher-ranking individuals receive different treatment than lower-ranking individuals. Depending on one’s status, there are limitations on whom one may connect with. Seniority is highly respected. For example, addressing a more diminutive uncle versus an elder uncle requires a different approach. Even at the place of work, the person holding the highest rank is handled in a different way from the other staff members. However, America has a few laxer hierarchical standards (Johnson et al., 2022). The regulations are flexible, but the seniority is respected. Regardless of their social standing, people are free to interact with one another.
With culture, people expect people to behave in the community’s best interests. Chinese people often place a higher weight on society’s innate requirements than Americans. Usually, the community comes first at the cost of the individual. The stability of the neighborhood and the country as a whole comes first (Keightley, 2022). Forth America, people are urged to put in additional effort in order to be viewed as successful. This is one instance where it harms the neighborhood. The American culture is an individualistic one in this way, whereas the Chinese culture is a collectivist one. Many people believe that Chinese people are socialists while Americans are capitalists.
Building ties with other people is significant to Chinese people. The connections are referred to by a particular term, “guanxi.” In Chinese culture, building bonds with other people is emphasized before further engagement (Lee & Li, 2019). For instance, prior to trust establishment, in a professional context, it is typically necessary to establish a rapport. The conversations might go on for a long time. Employees are frequently urged to comprehend their coworkers better at work. The American culture does not operate in this way. In American culture, commerce is done more quickly. Trust is typically a later concern. Finding an American who scarcely knows much about his coworkers is also common. Employees in America typically engage with one another through team-building exercises, among many other things.
Compared to Americans, Chinese individuals have lower privacy expectations due to their emphasis on forming relationships (Lee & Li, 2019). For example, it is acceptable to inquire about someone’s age, relationship status, and wealth in Chinese society. Typically, these inquiries aim to learn more about a person and place him in the proper formal structure. Such queries may be viewed as violating one’s autonomy in American society (Talhelm & English, 2020). Many Americans probably feel uncomfortable if questioned about this nature.
Chinese folks tend to be reserved. They are encouraged to continue communicating informally by cultural standards. Direct inquiries are not encouraged. Regarding Chinese culture, even if an individual realizes you are incorrect, they must still agree. They are forbidden from openly confronting one another (Zhou et al., 2022). This demonstrates humility. Contrarily, in American culture, individuals are blunt in their disagreements among themselves. Extreme outbursts occasionally give the impression that individuals are fighting. The Chinese place a high value on maintaining and preserving one’s self-reputation. It has commonly referred to as “keeping face.” The Chinese forgo behaviors that might harm their reputation as a whole. The American’s final result comes at the price of their reputation (Talhelm & English, 2020). Reputation does not constitute a significant concern.
Home cooking is a favorite habit among Chinese households. The family members consider sharing the meals at the table as they are seated around it. They still eat similarly even while they are eating in restaurants. However, just a portion of Americans has dinner with their families. They frequently consume fast food during mealtime, particularly teens. Rather than spending time with their families, they choose to get out and eat with their buddies (Talhelm & English, 2020). This demonstrates how far more essential family connections are to Chinese society than Americans.
Taoism, Buddhism, and Confucianism are three beliefs that significantly impact Chinese culture. Examples include the value of education, respecting elders and parents, and honoring ghosts and deities to maintain health and the circle of life. However, the majority of Americans practice Catholicism and Christianity. The Catholics and Protestants frequently make prayers to God. They are convinced that God can bless individuals and that they will be taken to paradise once they pass away.
Given the strong impact of Confucianism, Chinese people always show respect for their mom, dad, and the old. The Chinese do not shout their guardians’ names, unlike Americans. Chinese consider shouting parents’ names a kind of rudeness. Since Americans like to respect their guardians as colleagues, they frequently directly express their emotions and thoughts in contrast to Chinese people who prefer to keep their feelings to themselves. In contrast, Americans seem more liberal, while the Chinese are quiet and traditional.
Americans and Chines cultures have pretty different views on when and what they should eat. The majority of people in China follow a similar diet. For instance, due to their long history of being farmers, roughly 94 percent of the Chinese eat three meals daily. An old Chinese proverb states, “Eat well at the morning, complete your lunch feeling full, and don’t eat much at supper.” Evidently, in the old days, daylight farming activities required far more nourishment than they did at night, and as a result, this practice eventually ingrained itself into Chinese eating culture. (Zhou et al., 2022) Chinese prioritize rice and pasta as their main staple foods. In actuality, the majority of north Chinese regions are drylands that are ideal for producing wheat.
In contrast, its southern regions are composed of paddy fields that encourage the development of rice. As a result, rice is preferred in the country’s south, whereas noodles are preferred by the Chinese who live there. Most of China’s diet under ancient Chinese nutrition is always made up of carbohydrates. According to recommendations, Chinese food’s carbohydrate content should be at least 55 percent.
Diversification is essential in American foods as individuals from many locations merge in the U.s to create a multicultural society. For instance, some Americans adhere to the three meals-a-day norms, while others believe it is preferable to have more frequently and less frequently (Zhou et al., 2022). Personal preferences determine everything. Americans also need to have a set of eating choices. Americans now enjoy various culinary options because of the cooking methods and traits that immigrants introduced. A typical American meal may include milk and bread in the morning, a taco from Mexico for lunch, and Kung-Pao with rice for dinner.
In China and the USA, there are differences in the level of decorum seen in discussions, mannerisms, and schools. China is a nation that values decorum in public and thus is known for its ceremonies and formality. On the other hand, Americans tend to dress more casually every day. Teachers and senior citizens are highly revered in Chinese society due to the impact of Confucian society. In order to demonstrate respect, kids should act formally at school by, for example, standing while responding to inquiries. Some Chinese instructors pay close attention to this behavior; if the pupils do not stand up when responding to inquiries, the instructor will feel insulted (Zhou et al., 2022). Chinese folks observe their table etiquette at home as well. For example, the household cannot begin dining if the aged do not sit, and the younger members of the family are not permitted to engage in conversation while eating (Lee & Li, 2019). Daily communication also reflects Chinese decorum. There are several personal pronouns used in Chinese. In polite conversation, the Chinese should use “Nin” to address “you” to denote any courteous person and “Ni” to address those within the same age group. However, Americans are much more concerned with the equality of all people.
The importance of equality is seen in American homes, institutions, and daily interactions. American students perceive that teachers are their colleagues and instructors; hence they need not stand up while responding to inquiries as required. Since the host or hostess puts more work into making the food, they are revered at the table rather than the old (Talhelm & English, 2020). English does not employ pronouns, in contrast to Chinese, giving Americans a much more informal style of communicating with others. Regarding Chinese American decorum, there is no good or bad. Similar to the variations in eating customs involving the two nations, everything comes down to cultural variances.
In summary, there are an ideological, formality, and dietary disparities between the USA and China. The most Chinese folks are collectivist, incredibly respectful of instructors and the aged, and have a regular eating routine. However, Americans value autonomy, recognize the equality of all individuals and possess a variety of dietary habits. It is crucial to remember that these discrepancies result from the two nations’ distinct historical and cultural origins, and there ought to be no wrong or right regarding other civilizations.
Johnson, D., Nathan, A. J., & Rawski, E. S. (2022). Popular Culture in Late Imperial China. In Google Books . Univ of California Press. https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=crFeEAAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PR7&dq=Differences+Between+American+and+Chinese+Cultures&ots=egG8MXi3np&sig=TO4ewlLA–HNfnmHNZR63aSNRZQ
Keightley, D. N. (2022). The Origins of Chinese Civilization. In Google Books . Univ of California Press. https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=GK1hEAAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PR10&dq=chinese+culture&ots=sJLB7TJJzj&sig=CPMdpyf3Px4qQpiJv136p_qUXrg
Lee, J. F. K., & Li, X. (2019). Cultural representation in English language textbooks: a comparison of textbooks used in mainland China and Hong Kong. Pedagogy, Culture & Society , 28 (4), 1–19. https://doi.org/10.1080/14681366.2019.1681495
Marsden, G. M. (2022). Fundamentalism and American Culture. In Google Books . Oxford University Press. https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=jYZUEAAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PP1&dq=american+culture&ots=_IBBz7NKVi&sig=JKCdOfaXSdoQZk4Zi-GjxXw8Gvc
Zhou, J., Wang, H., & Zou, Z. (2022). Inverse Association between Dietary Diversity Score Calculated from the Diet Quality Questionnaire and Psychological Stress in Chinese Adults: A Prospective Study from China Health and Nutrition Survey. Nutrients , 14 (16), 3297. https://doi.org/10.3390/nu14163297
Talhelm, T., & English, A. S. (2020). Historically rice-farming societies have tighter social norms in China and worldwide. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences , 117 (33), 19816–19824. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1909909117
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Table of contents Step 1: Hook your reader Step 2: Give background information Step 3: Present your thesis statement Step 4: Map your essay's structure Step 5: Check and revise More examples of essay introductions Frequently asked questions about the essay introduction Step 1: Hook your reader
Example of a well-structured essay An Appeal to the Senses: The Development of the Braille System in Nineteenth-Century France The invention of Braille was a major turning point in the history of disability. The writing system of raised dots used by visually impaired people was developed by Louis Braille in nineteenth-century France.
Introduction for an essay example While other kids' memories of circuses are happy and fun, what I recall most from my first time at a circus was feeling sorry for the animals—I can still remember the sadness in their eyes.
Here are some examples of funny essay introductions: 1) "Most people, when asked for help, do their best to avoid doing anything that will make them feel uncomfortable or inconvenient. However, one particular person named Barbara McFadden is entirely different from all other people.
Here is an example of reversing expectations. The introductory paragraph is filled with doom and gloom. We feel sorry for the writer but are left wondering whether the article will be a classic sob story. It is in the second paragraph where we find out that it's quite the opposite.
Step 2: Background Information. Give the background of your essay topic first, and then identify the themes. The introduction always begins with an orientation. It contains statements that show how the topic relates to bigger issues addressed in the next part of the essay.
Essay Introduction Examples Example 1 [1] According to Paul Ratsmith, the tenuous but nonetheless important relationship between pumpkins and rats is little understood: "While I've always been fascinated by this natural kinship, the connection between pumpkins and rats has been the subject of few, if any, other studies" (2008). [2]
The following are popular examples of argumentative literary essays: "Letter from Birmingham Jail" by Martin Luther King, Jr. "Death of the Moth" by Virginia Woolf. "Shooting an Elephant" by George Orwell. "Thoughts for the Times on War and Death" by Sigmund Freud.
Try something like this creative introduction example: I hit the water with a slap that knocked the wind out of me. For a moment, I could hear my sister screaming from the deck of the ship, but then everything went quiet as my ears went under water. Engage the Reader With a Strong Introduction
Here's a five-paragraph essay example, so you can better understand how they work. Capybaras make great pets, and the laws against owning them should be reconsidered. Capybaras are a dog-sized animal with coarse fur, native to eastern South America.
Examples Of Intro Paragraph For Fahrenheit 451. 316 Words2 Pages. Intro Paragraph. Siema Alam Try 1: A privileged society does not necessarily mean it is a perfect one. The satisfaction people receive from material wealth, a privilege, halts further growth. This satisfaction factor may cause a fear of change in expanding to unknown information.
How to write an EPQ introduction. The first thing to do is to establish the purpose of the essay - in doing this, we want to break down the question that is being answered and examine the components of it. This sounds like it is just an exercise in definitions, and to an extent it is, but it's more complicated than it may appear because it ...
Sam's Club essay example for your inspiration. ️ 615 words. Read and download unique samples from our free paper database. ... Introduction. Sam's Club is one of the divisions of Wal-Mart stores and leading operators of membership warehouse clubs. Sam's Club runs over 651 clubs across the United States and Puerto Rico and offers various ...
Introduction The overall purpose of this essay is discussing the importance of effective teamwork in information technology and the computing industry. In order to do this, I will be discussing the following: Eventuality of your work mattering, Unity within the workplace, clear and concise structure, risk taking and feedback as well as personal ...
Before we dive into analyzing the strengths and weaknesses of this example intro paragraph, let's establish the essay topic. The sample intro indicates that the essay topic will focus on one specific issue: who should cover the cost of college education in the U.S., and why.
Argumentative essay introduction example 7. The use of animals in scientific research is a highly controversial issue. Opponents say it is cruel and immoral to use animals for experiments, whereas proponents argue that developing life-saving drugs and treatments is necessary.
Here is a well-written example of a reflective essay introduction. "Fieldwork experiences can often be a daunting way of conducting research, but they can also be fulfilling. I have had first-hand experience conducting fieldwork for my master's degree. I learned some valuable lessons as a result of this.
Body paragraph 1. The first body paragraph discusses the first and most important point related to the argument. It starts with a topic sentence and has all the factual data to make the argument convincing. Body paragraph 2. The second body paragraph mentions the second most important element of the argument.
Example: Frederick Douglass wrote his autobiography, Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave, in the 1840s. It was published in 1986 by Penguin Books. In it, he tells the story of his life. And now for the conclusion… Writing an effective introduction can be tough.
An introduction should give the reader a glimpse into your thoughts on the essay topic or question. You could briefly: introduce your main idea or key point. summarise your overall argument. give ...
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To make the introduction of your essay effective, you can appeal to your readers' emotions. This is a good strategy, especially when writing a persuasive essay introduction about a personal topic. It will help you get your audience emotionally involved in the topic.
Intro Essay Examples 2021 See Guide on Writing a Good Essay Intro. Filed in Education by TMLT Editorials on April 6, 2021. Tags: essay introduction paragraph, good introduction examples, good introduction paragraph examples.
For example, in a standard 5 paragraph essay, the introduction would be a paragraph long. In the case of an essay that is many pages long, however, the introduction will be longer.
5. Create an outline. Before you begin writing a reflective essay, it's important to create an outline. This will help you organize your thoughts and structure your essay in a way that is easy to follow. Here's a basic outline for a reflective essay: Introduction. Body paragraphs.
Introduction Contrasting cultures constitute the foundation of many facets of life, and whether variety leads to conflict or success frequently depends on the goals of the leaders of each country. As time goes on, ethnic clusters become more pronounced. In addition, the globalization of technology in our daily lives unifies and dissolves cultural borders. The […]